LunaTechChick's Random Thoughts, Rants & Musings

Time For A Cool Change

2012-02-18T16:29:00.002-06:00

Ok, so we're right in the middle of the "medical flurry" of bc tests, checks, scans, squashes & such. Saw the Oncologist, Dr W on Thursday, & the Endocrinologist Dr F yesterday. Next up, mammo, surgeon, sono. And then I'll have a couple months off till the next 3 month Oncologist visit.

And how am I doin with the New Year's Resolutions regarding medical stuff? Well, I guess I'm doin ok...I didn't cry at the chest X-ray. Didn't cry all over Dr W. I hope to not be flippin out at the mammo, & DEF don't wanna be all freaky in front of Dr V! Well, I did have a bit of a scare....Dr F's office called me yesterday & told me I needed to come in to discuss my labs & could I come on in, like NOW. I was all like, WHAAAAAAAT?? He usually just drops me a letter in the mail tellin me to call to get a new dose on the meds...so I was flippin totally out. But it really was just to discuss changes to my thyroid meds. Nothin more.

AND, my visit with Dr W was a good one. He had some news. He's leaving that cancer center where he is currently & goin to a MUCH better place (in my opinion). I have been becoming rather disenchanted with this cancer center myself, & was gonna talk with him about changin to one of the other locations. But he beat me to it. He's gonna head up some Oncology division at a nice, newish hospital right near a mall I like & just around the corner from a Five Guys Burgers & Fries! Yeah, THAT could make me have a different view of pending Oncologist appointments. And what a great change that will be! AND, it really did make me feel good when he told me he was SO glad to see me on his books this week so he could tell me of his cool change in person & also afford me the opportunity to get on his books at the new place, seamlessly in time for my next 3 month appointment in May.

And now for our non cancer-related stuff: Shooting for the "awareness & prevention" movie we're doin kicked off last week. This will be our 7th movie. And I'm back "on the job" doin my boom mic thing. And I have gotten very rusty.

But it's nice to be back to doin more & more things we did PRE-bc. KnowwhatImean?

It really does seem like things are goin more & more back to normal. And that's VERY cool...for a change.

=)

I Can See Clearly Now...

2012-02-04T10:29:00.038-06:00

Sooooooo, this business about the Susan G Komen Foundation cutting of funding for Planned Parenthood & then reversing that decision has been quite the hot topic this week. I have been a SGK supporter, even before I got breast cancer. Even though some of the things they have done here & there have aggravated me a bit....like when they threatened to sue small, local charities for using the words "For The Cure" in their fundraising efforts. Yeah...they've trademarked that phrase. But to actually have their lawyers go after a tiny, local charity like that? Really? But I got over it & continued supporting SGK, since they were the largest breast cancer charity.

But this most recent move, cutting off Planned Parenthood & then reversing the decision upon experiencing a huge backlash....wow....I can see clearly now the true colors of SGK. What started out as probably a genuine charity organization with a goal of ending breast cancer is no longer that, in my opinion. What it has become is a business. And no doubt the top execs earn lofty salaries. And it just kinda made me fuckin sick that this charity allowed politics to play a role in anything! Politics or religious beliefs should have no place in breast cancer research/screening/treatment. Breast cancer does not discriminate. Breast cancer doesn't give a shit if you're Republican, Democrat, Christian, Mormon, gay or straight. And we've GOT to find a cure. I'm just not so sure that is the Susan G Komen Foundation's top priority any longer.

I'm havin a hard time putting in to words all I feel & think about this....I'm not the most intellectual person. But it doesn't take intellect to know that what SGK did was shitty & it totally showed their true colors. Even though they reversed their decision, I'm afraid the damage has been done.

And I have edited, posted, taken down, re-edited, re-posted & taken this post down numerous times. I'm sure some people find this blog through my epic hair regrowth post I shared over at the SGK Discussion Forums. And then they read this. Yet my posts are still over at SGK. Here's how I feel about that. Whether or not you support SGK For The Cure, I think the Discussion Forum over on the SGK site needs to NOT be a part of all this stuff. Leave the SGK Discussion Forums out of this. So many newly diagnosed women go to that Forum in search of support, advice, & just to learn from all the others there who've been through it. I know I did. And there are always some very knowledgeable & compassionate, experienced ladies there, ready to lend an ear, hold your hand, let you cry...whatever it is you need that brought you to the Forum. And I made some "friends" there that I will probably never meet, but I very much value their friendship & appreciate so much the help, support & understanding when I first landed on the Forum, all freakin out & stuff. So. What I'm trying to say is this. Yes, I'm mad at the SGK Foundation. But I do still wanna help other ladies goin through breast cancer, chemo, havin bald issues & stuff. So I will remain a member of that Forum, & hope that this blog post doesn't get me kicked off or my posts removed.

Life In The Fast Lane...

2012-01-18T16:45:00.000-06:00

Surely make you lose your mind. Yeah. Somebody had DEFINITELY lost their damn mind. The other night, O & I were on the way home from the store...I was driving. And as I turned off this one road onto the long & winding road that leads to our house (I know...sorry! lol), I checked my rear view mirror & noticed this dude, in a white pickup, like totally on my ass! I'm not talkin bout just tailgating, or followin too closely....I mean, this truck was so close that you couldn't even see the end of his hood! I was all like, DOOD! Seriously????

Now, this is a very curvy, 2 lane road with a 50 MPH speed limit. And I was probably doin 55....& the guy just stays right up on us. Dangerously close. We approached our neighborhood, but the guy was so close, I couldn't even slow down to make the turn. And kinda didn't want to anyway, cause this guy obviously had a problem. O was like "This is bullshit! I'm callin 9-1-1!" And he did & was tellin the dispatcher what was happening & where we were located & the direction we were goin & stuff. And she told us an officer would be along to intercept the situation & did we want to speak to the officer after he made the stop. Well YEAH, we totally wanna talk to the officer!

So we're still flyin down the road, guy on my ass, O on the phone & I'm really startin to feel chased down at this point. And then as we drove past this side street, the cop whipped out & jumped behind the jerk in the truck & got him pulled over at a park. So I flipped the car around to go back to the park to ID the guy & speak to the officer. When we pulled into the park, there were 2 squad cars there & they were dealin with the asshole driver. Officer came over & spoke to O, & apparently, the guy had no driver's license. And I think he said somethin bout the guy was goin to jail, so there musta been other stuff with this guy, cause I don't think they arrest you for drivin without a license.

So anyway....that was our bit of excitement to kick off the New Year. After we got home, I was trippin out at what had just happened. I'm so glad I wasn't by myself in the car. It really was a very dangerous situation that could have ended in a terrible wreck. I'm just glad the cops showed up when they did.

And ever since then, as I was mullin over ideas for this blog post, I've had the stupid song "Eastbound & Down" (although we were westbound lol) stuck in my head, cause it kinda felt like we were in a Smokey & The Bandit movie. Thank you for your assistance Buford T Justice! LOL!

Tech Support

2012-01-05T12:54:00.005-06:00

Ok, so got more 'splainin to do .

I need to answer a question I'm getting lately from folks attempting to subscribe to this blog....they put their email address in the subscription box & then nuttin....& they're all like "What the...??" So here's what I think is happening....when you subscribe, you should receive a Confirmation Email. In that email is a link that you MUST click on to complete the subscription. Now, I get everybody's paranoia about clickin links in emails, but this one is LEGIT! Promise! And I also promise that you will not suddenly be on the receiving end of all kinds of spam, crap emails & Viagra ads. Seriously. So, go on ahead & click that link! ;)

Now, for those who say, "I never even GOT the Confirmation Email! What the...??!" First thought that comes to mind is: Have you checked in your Spam folder? I know....just said no spam, but until you say it's OK, some peoples security filters will send it straight to a spam or junk email folder. I find this especially common for those who use AOL.

I'm also hearing that some folks can't figure out how to leave a comment here on the blog...Just scroll all the way to the bottom of the post you wanna comment on & & click Comments. And no, you don't have to have a Google or Blog account to comment. You can choose the Name/URL option.

And then somebody recently asked me why they can't see the photos on the blog that comes to their phone. I don't know. But I know that if you go to it through your phone's browser, you can see everything. Different mobile carriers do things differently from each other.

Ok, I know most people reading this knew all of this already, but these questions have been comin at me quite a bit recently & just wanted to offer that Tech Support for ya. (Ok, I also just wanted an excuse to do a blog that includes the video clip at the bottom! LOL!)

Thanks so much for visiting/commenting/subscribing/following.

Some Musings On This New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T16:14:00.001-06:00

Well, another New Year's Eve....This year has gone by so fast. And compared to the last 2 years, it's actually been pretty ok. It did have it's moments...like with O's job issues & stuff....but for the most part, I'd say it was a pretty good year. I'm like, any year that I'm still clear of cancer is a good year. Any year I have hair on my head is a good year.

And I have made SEVERAL New Year's Resolutions. One of which is to stop showing up at my Oncologist's office completely bat shit crazy freakin out. So that's one of, like, 10 things I'll be doin differently in 2012.

I look back on the year & I can see that I've made several new "online friends" this year. And, even though I've never (& possibly will never) met them, I regard them as close as friends I have in the real world. I think it's interesting when we "meet" people online & friendships form. I think people are brought together for a reason. And I'm so thankful for all my friends, both in the real world & in the cyber world too. Y'all have all been a big part of helpin us through the bc ordeal. So thank you. SO much.

And to my family as well. They are far away from where I live, so most of our interaction is online too. (Thank you Mark Zuckerberg for your awesome creation) So, another Resolution: I am going to try my best to get over my unnatural fear of flying & get on an airplane home a LOT more often...I hope....depending on airline ticket prices of course. Even though they are not close to me, their love & support is what I know got me to where I'm at today. And it's what will keep me movin forward with a more positive outlook than I've had the last couple of years. So thank y'all & I love y'all & hope to be seein y'all SOON.

And my hubs....not gonna do a bunch of mush & gush on here, but he knows totally how much I love & appreciate him. And my family does too. He had his fair share of crap to deal with this year, & I only hope I've helped him with things.

So anyway....goodbye 2011. Was a pretty ok year I suppose. 2012 should be interesting. Bring it!

All This Horror Business

2011-12-17T15:22:00.001-06:00

So, apparently most people who read my blog are not Misfits fans. Sooooo, they totally didn't "get" my last post . So, here ya go.

So, yeah, maybe now I can get this song outta my head for five minutes.

All This HAIRY Business....OR...How Long Will It Take For My Hair To Grow Back After Chemo?

2011-12-11T10:38:00.002-06:00

Yeah...have had songs from the Misfits stuck in my head while trying to come up with a title for this EPIC "How Long Will It Take My Hair To Grow Back After Chemo?" regrowth post. This is going to be long & I'm putting in lots of pictures that chronicle the loss & regrowth of my follicles, some never before shared with anyone....Today I am at the 2 years from last chemo mark. And while I still have a ways to go before my hair is "back to normal"...it's pretty much back. Still have some shorter top parts to grow out to catch up to the length. But for those who (like I did) are searching the interwebs lookin for info & photos showing the rate of hair regrowth after chemo, then this is the post you're lookin for. Now, everyone's hair grows at it's own rate, but I've been told my hair grows at pretty much the average rate....

1/4 - 1/2 inch per month. And of course I'm doin a post like this...even before I had the breast cancer, I was all about my hair...And I miss it...soooo Ok, so here we go.....

So here I am...June 2009, (above) celebrating my 40th birthday...& I have breast cancer, I just don't know it for sure yet. I knew about the lump at this time, but hadn't been to the doctor yet. In about 2 weeks from this day, I was diagnosed. So, this is what someone with very aggressive breast cancer looks like. Yep. Next:

Ahhhh, the shave day (above)....September 14, 2009...pretty much right at 2 weeks after my 1st chemo...the hair was comin out all over the place. I'm convinced that's what killed our vacuum cleaner! Anyway, yeah...I was more than a little upset about the havin to lose my hair part of this whole ordeal. And I'm not gonna lie...I had to get pretty well lit to go through with it. So after drinkin several Berry Skyy Vodkas with Diet 7Up back (was out of the good stuff lol)...we began the buzzin...Talk about Horror Business....

So I figure if I MUST lose my hair, might as well do a mohawk....And yeah, that's my personal message to breast cancer...eff you!

So we took a few pics...& then buzzed off the 'hawk & it was gone & I was bald (above).

And I plopped my wig on my bald head (above) & felt SOOO much better. And we went out to dinner. Took the new wig 'do out for a test drive lol...

Ok..so fast forward through 6 rounds of chemo to right about a month after the last chemo...January 2010 (above). We called this baby bird head. The longer hairs are what never fell out...Looks like a receding hairline.

February 2010 (above)...these are about a week apart. When I look at these it reminds me of a turtle lol! I didn't have any eyelashes or brows...Just using makeup as best I could to disguise that fact. I was finishing up with radiation around this time I think...I remember the excitement with every new bit of hair growth during this time.

March 2010 (above). It's startin to fill in. These are about 2 weeks apart. I was still wearin my wigs & bandanas when out & about, but SOOOO happy to see more hair growin in. Seems like you could almost see it growin...it was different every day.

Later in March 2010 (above)...The picture on the right is when I went out for the first time without anything on my head. Said I went topless! LOL! But was still doing wigs to work & stuff. Very butchy lookin...

And here is the pixie in June 2010 (above). Six months after last chemo. I finally stopped wearin wigs. It isn't a hairdo I would have ever chosen to do, but it sure was nice to not have to have something on my head.

July 2010, 7 months post chemo (above)...I've entered the "Headband Phase" of things. The second picture shows when the chemo curl started. These are about 2 weeks apart.

August 2010, 8 months after chemo (above). I called this my "senior citizen 'do" lol. I'm celebrating the end of Herceptin treatments. YAY!

October 2010, 10 months post chemo (above). I had gotten a tiny flat iron & straightened my hair in the pic on the left. Every time I see it I think "Activiaaaaaaaa..." On the right is not straightened, still in the headband phase.

October 2010, 10 months after chemo ended (above). I'm about to attend my very first "Pink Out" Pep Rally. And I need to learn to stop takin pics in here...SUCH bad lighting...Too much Horror Business...(Misfits fans get it...right?) Still in headbands.....I started callin the 'do the "chemo-fro" at this point. LOL!

YAY! A nubby ponytail! (above) And from the front, startin to look more like "ME" again. January 2011, 13 months after chemo ended. I had been able to do this for right at a month...remember when I got my mediport removed?

And when I just didn't feel like doin the nubby pony tail, it was chemo-fro in headband. Had to do the headband thing, cause it was quite the mullet! April 2011, 16 months of growin hair (above).

May 2011, 17 months (above)

June 2011, 18 months (above). This was my first "real hairdo" cut. But it wasn't really a 'do...just some blending. I never wore it like this again. Just kept doin ponytails, & the chemo-fro in headband thing. This was flat ironed.

This is August 2011, 20 months(above). The shag 'do is gettin mullety again. Not flat ironed, just round brushed while drying.

Early October 2011, 22 months post chemo (above). Round brushed left, chemo-fro right.

Late October 2011 (above). Now I can clip up the sides while they grow out & not be in the pony tail all the time. I've pretty much stopped wearin it curly at this point. When I round brush it while blowdrying, it's straight, just like it used to be. YAY!

And this is exactly 24 months from the end of chemo (above). Two years of growin. I wish these photos were better quality, but we were in a bit of a rush & I wanted pics taken on the anniversary of the end of chemo. Anyway, I still have some growin to do...gotta let that shortest top layer catch up to the rest....So, I'm still growin, but wanted to share this in the hopes that newly diagnosed people might see that yes, it sucks to have to lose your hair, but it does come back. I saw a similar post one day while I was bald in the middle of chemo, & it encouraged me & helped me so much...& that's all I'm wantin to do here...help others goin through the same thing. I realize that, as cancer survivors, we have much more serious issues & things to deal with, but if you're like me, the hardest part was the hair thing. So I hope that if you're checkin out this post because you are waitin & watchin for your hair to grow back, just know...it will be back. You WILL have your hair again.

[I may add pics to this post a couple of times until I achieve the 'do that I will call Mission Accomplished.]

REALLY?! A Rant......

2011-11-28T12:40:00.001-06:00

Good gawd! Some people are just SO RUDE!!! And I just have to rant cause I just couldn't believe this rudeness!!

Ok, so I heard that one of my very favorite restaurants, Chipotle, started offerin brown rice as a choice. They've always only offered white rice. So I get zero rice & order the salad bowl. But this more healthful brown rice option made me SO very happy! And we were kinda turkey'd out from Thanksgiving, so O suggested we grab a Chipotle & get out & about for a bit. I was all over that like white (or brown) on rice! (sorry...lol) I mean, I probably haven't had rice in my Chipotle bowl in years. So off we went.

Here's the thing about Chipotle restaurants....it's assembly line style...usually very busy & seating is limited. Music is loud & unique. Just a great fun place to eat some really great food! But not exactly a place you'd lounge around in for AGES after you've finished eating. And ESPECIALLY not with an infant in tow....And VERY ESPECIALLY when you can see there's a line out the door & clearly most of these people will have NO PLACE TO SIT. But that's what we saw when we got there....

So we walk in...line isn't terrible...yet...All the good tables are taken, only a couple of high tops available. I hate a high top. Anyway, there's this family (I guess) who are well finished with their food. So we figure (hope) they'll be gone by the time we need someplace to sit. They were takin up 2 four top tables, but at 1 of those was just the Mom (I guess) with the infant. Other table had young adult lookin people all in their Sunday finest...suit & tie, dresses, head wear...clearly they had been to church earlier...I guessed, since it was Sunday afternoon...

So I'm thinkin....surely they aren't just hangin out....And luckily I found a regular two top table for us, but everything else was full. And everybody in line was like watchin these people just sittin there, takin mobile phone pictures of each other, woman cooin with the infant....one of the young adults puts their head down on the table like she was gonna take a frickin nap or somethin....And O & I are watchin & just can't believe it. The line is almost out the door at this point, most tables are full...all the good seats are taken. (Thanks to these people!) And I'm all like REALLY?!! How fuckin RUDE can you be?? Can't they see that like EVERYBODY is watchin them? See, this place is designed for you to go through the line, sit down & eat, & leave...which is what MOST people do. Cause there's no comfy booths, no soft dinner music, no wait staff...it's not that kind of place. Now, if it's totally dead in there....fine. But crazy ass busy, tons of people in line, very limited seating?? And you & your gussied up group are gonna just sit there. REALLY??

We finished our food & they still showed no signs of gettin it together to leave or anything. So as we're gatherin up stuff to take to the trash, I'm all like "Yeah, let's GO since we're FINISHED & FREE UP this table so OTHER PEOPLE can SIT DOWN & eat!!" O was crackin up...I was just like "GAWD!!"

We never saw them leave....we even sat in the car several minutes while I reapplied my lip gloss....I really expected to see them leave but they didn't. I dunno what most of the people in the line did...I guess they had to wait for other (normal) people to finish eating & leave.

Am I the one with the problem? Maybe you just had to be there....but I could never do that. I've never seen that before...I eat here pretty frequently with my friend...& we don't do that.

*end rant*

So Excuse Me Forgetting.....

2011-11-20T09:56:00.002-06:00

Yeah, some stuff I forgot to mention...

First: I don't work at the insurance office anymore. I haven't since the 1st of October. Well, actually mid September when I took some time off to deal with that flurry of medical & to help O with some big stuff in our video biz. This time last year I was studyin to pass the state exam to get my license. And now I'm back to full time with our video company. And it's fine. Nobody's mad at anybody. The insurance biz around there is just too slow at the moment to justify my "experimental" position, so s'all good. We're all still buds. And I still pop by from time to time for "Mexican Food Wednesday" or "Asian Food Friday". =)

Also, that latest member of the insurance office to have to join the "cancer club"....he's gonna be good. Had a very small colon cancer. Had it removed in surgery. Does not require any further treatment.

And my appointment I just had with my oncologist, Dr W. Was a bit stressful, but turned out good. It was another one of those times where he was runnin behind & I was waitin in the exam room for like, ever...so by the time he came in I was totally about to freak out. But it all looked fine. Get the chest X-ray before I see him again in February.

And finally...chemo brain. It's still an issue. Not terrible, but I've become terribly forgetful. Like, I'm askin people to tell me stuff they've already told me. Forgettin to do stuff I say I'm gonna do....(especially hate that one, cause I'm known to do what I say I'll do.) So, yeah...I'm learning that I need to write down things that are important. Pretty much have started to write everything down.

Ok, I guess that pretty much catches up anything left hangin out there.

Superstition Ain't The Way.......

2011-11-13T12:26:00.001-06:00

Right. So the 3 month appointment with my oncologist, Dr W is tomorrow. And I'm (as usual) nervous. But not as much as in the past. I've been just "havin a feelin" that I've totally beat this bs. That it's all gonna be good. And at the same time, I'm all weirded out about goin into this appointment all confident & not a bundle of nerves like I usually am. I think it's because, in my mind, goin in there anything less than bein all nervous means I'll probably get bad news. So, if I go in there all typically nervous, I should hear the same thing I always hear. Right? Cause I usually go in there all nervous, shakin in my shoes. And he always says everything looks good/great/beautiful. So I guess it's a bit of "expect the worst & hope for the best". Superstitious much? Right. So how much of a nut job am I? Bein all weirded out about not bein all weirded out about this appointment.

Or I'm just a headcase.

Wish me luck!

Got Some 'Splainin To Do...

2011-11-04T13:34:00.004-05:00

Ok, it appears I need to explain something about this blog. I was made aware of this fact when someone checked out my last post. So here goes: When you are readin my blog, & you see words that are a different color, (teal, I think) mouse over that & you'll see that it's a link. And maybe the different colors don't show up on mobile devices...I dunno. But I should not have just assumed (you know what they say about when we ASS U ME) that it was obvious that there are links inside some of the posts that don't look like a typical link.

Movin on....I'm FINALLY wearin my hair NOT in a ponytail. I went to see my stylist & got a bit of a blend & trim. Still tryin to get the last of the chemo fuzz off...still a tiny bit left in the back, but it's not noticeable when I flat iron it.

So, YAY! It's startin to look like real hair.

And I'm slightly unnerved that my oncologist, Dr W, has rescheduled my appointment from this coming Thursday to the following Monday. He's apparently out of the office all next week. *Shakes fist at Dr W* And, of course, being the super weirdo paranoid freak that I am....of course I'm worried that it "means something". *Can see my friend's eyeballs rollin right now*

And y'all don't forget to turn your clocks back this weekend! =)

It's All About The Benjamins Baby...

2011-11-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

This. Is. Fucking. Disgusting....Period.

Got $700?

The Dinner Drama Continues...

2011-10-29T11:29:00.004-05:00

O & I have decided that if we didn't need to eat, things would me much easier. Cause it seems like every damn time we work late, or want to eat out, SOMETHING makes it difficult. Or impossible. And we've just about decided that we just need to start videotapin our life, cause when we tell people how things happen to us, it really does sound like we're makin it up. We often say to each other, jeez, you'd just have to be with us to see all this shit happenin around us. (And our "Law of Attraction" where people just flock around us all the time continues too, but that's another post for another time.)

Ok, so after a meeting, we decide to eat out, cause I'm just not feelin like cookin. We decided to try that new Chinese restaurant that we didn't last time when we made the mistake of goin to that other place that forgot about us. I had always thought it was a Chinese buffet, although the building does look tiny for that. It's not. It's a walk up to the register & order & pay like you're at McDonald's kinda place.

So we walk in. And right away, O can tell he doesn't wanna eat there. It's fast food....I mean really fast food. Not awesome fast food like Panda Express (which we also love). And so O is like "Yeah...think I want something I'm gonna like better than this..." So we just leave without approachin the cash register to order. Then we noticed they have a Drive Thru. Wish I'd noticed that before gettin outta the car.

So then we decide, hey, let's try that new Mexican joint that opened up recently right in our little town. It always has lots of cars & people say it's good. Even got a great write up in our local magazine, which made me want to try it even more. So we're like "Yeah, let's do that! Then we'll be close to home & everything." So we go. And we walk in. And I think we realize why there's always tons of cars here. The BAR. But we figure we'll give it a shot. Even though it is a bit of a dive...but I've had some of the best food ever in dives....so....we order some Queso to go with the chips. Ok, we shoulda known by the salsa...which I suspect is just Pace from the jar. Now I got no problems with Pace, just kinda hope for fresh made salsa when I eat out. But we go ahead & order. O orders the Enchilada special - 1 cheese, 1 beef. I order the Fajita Steak Salad. I figure, if you got good fajita meat, then I'll try other stuff. OK...the queso....I'm not sure what the hell that was....it wasn't even the color of cheese...very light yellow like a Post It Note....& very thin & watery. Ok fine....& then the food comes out. I can tell just by lookin that I'm not gonna like this. But I taste it & was all like:

"Ummmmmm, I dunno what the fuck that is, but it is awful!!! How's the enchiladas?"

O: "I'm scared to try it."

Me: "REALLY....taste this fajita meat..."

O tastes & goes "What the hell? WAAAAAAY too salty!!"

So then O tries his refried beans, suspects they're 2 days old & from a can, & then he tasted the enchilada & ended up spittin that right back out & wavin our server down. And I told him "Yeah, I can't eat this. This is just terrible!"

Server comes over & says she'll get the owner for us. So then the owner comes over & Ollie asks her about the beans...I swear he turned into Gordon Ramsey! He's all like "These beans....they're from a can, yes?" LOL! And the owner goes, in her super thick Mexican accent "Oh no, those beans are made today my friend." Ok...we didn't ask you WHEN they were made....so yeah, she kinda busted herself right there. And I told her that fajita meat was terrible & super salty & she was just shakin her head & makin a face as if she was thinkin "You stupid gringos don't know good authentic Mexican food!" So O was like, "What do we need to do to just leave, cause we can't eat this..." She tells us we can just leave. And we do. FAST.

So by this time, once again, it's gotten later than we'd like, so we ended up with, yet again, another fast food dinner. That was the end of that attempt at dinner. After describin that fajita meat to some people, I've had more than 1 person tell me that it sounded like Menudo meat. Eeeeew!!!!!

Two days later, it happened again. Had a meeting run very late. Like we were walkin out of the office around 8:15pm. And here we go again..."What do you wanna eat?" It's the Million Dollar Damn Question I'm tellin ya.

O: "I kinda would like a steak."

Me: "Yeah, there's that *Steakhouse That Will Remain Unnamed* just off the highway on the way home."

O: "Alright! Wow, that was easy!"

And we go. And my 1st clue that I probably don't wanna eat here came when the hostess asked us if we had a smoking preference. Ummmm, you can still smoke in restaurants? Yikes! So she takes us over to a booth that is like, the closest table to the smoking section, but I'm hungry, & it's late, so I don't say anything. We order our food. Bread comes out. So far so good. Then the salads come out. I put the 1st bite in my mouth, & then it happened. O saw it a split second before I did. A fuckin ROACH is walkin right up to me...right there on the TABLE!!

ON. THE. FUCKING. TABLE!!! Salad comes flyin outta my mouth. And the roach then is walkin up the side of my drink. And O is like..."We. Are. Leaving! Get up!" Shew, I was miles ahead of him. We totally jumped up & ran outta there, brushin ourselves off to make sure we weren't takin anyone with us. I bet the server must have come back with the steaks & wondered what the hell, cause we totally went *POOF*. Ummmm, G'day *Steak Chain Restaurant*!

All the way home (cause neither of us could eat at this point) we were just "I canNOT believe that fuckin just happened!"

Today we have a meeting. And it's very close to one of our very favorite restaurants. And I SO hope it's still one of our favorites after tonight.

Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

2011-10-16T14:56:00.001-05:00

Or rather, DRESS your age? What does that even mean? I'm in my 40s. But some of the clothes I like to wear are found in the Juniors section. And yes, when I'm shoppin in there, I see the teenagers lookin at me like, "OMG grandma, get outta here tryin to dress too young..." And I DO see ladies my age & older, very obviously tryin to hang on to youth with their manner of dress. And I have to wonder....do I look like that too?

For instance....until very recently, I used to love love love wearin graphic print tops....every day...with bling & without. Sometimes I still wear one. But not like I used to. Was/am I too old for those? And now I'm wonderin about a trend I'm seein in jeans. All these jeans with white stitching....or distressed...you know, with holes....and distressed WITH white stitching.....And how about this....jeans with very ornate back pockets like this. Am I too old for this look?

I'm wonderin all this because O likes how these jeans look. Recently he was all like, "I want to see how you look in a pair of these new white stitched jeans I'm seein everywhere". And I asked him, "Doncha think I'm a bit OLD for that?" And he goes, "Hell NO!" So yeah, I now own not 1, but 2 pairs of white stitched jeans. And, one pair is distressed. Yep. But what about these very deco'd pocket ones? Is someone in their 40s too old for that?

Here's the thing. Yes, I'm approaching mid 40s. But....I'm told, pretty much by everyone, even strangers, that I don't look anywhere near my age. Which is super flattering to me & quite amazing actually, after havin gone through such hard core treatment for the bc bullshit....anyway.....so can I pull off these younger looks cause I look younger? OR....are people just tryin to be nice & lyin through their teeth & I in fact look exactly my age or even *shudder* OLDER? I think this new hair length makes me look older, but when I do the ponytail thing, I (think) I look pretty much the same as I did pre bc bullshit....just shorter on ptail....Anyway, gettin off track here (thank you Sudafed & seasonal upper respiratory issues)...

How old is too old?

She's Come Undone....

2011-10-11T19:50:00.001-05:00

Ok, so this is a tale of two hairdos. Cause it's time for the "Hair Regrowth After Chemo" update. First up, we have the "UN-'do".

This is what happens when I just blow dry & go....Ok, so I do round brush the front, but the chemo curl remains, as you can see here....

Next, we have the "UN-done Done 'do". What that means is, this is what happens when I attempt to actually style my hair with products & brushes, but I haven't gotten a 'do cut yet....last cut was just some blending done in June....so still haven't had a REAL 'do I wanna DO. So the "UN-done Done 'do"... Just round brushed, not flat ironed.

These are right at 22 months from my last chemo, which was December 10, 2009. And I'm thinkin of gettin somethin DONE with this 'do after Halloween...

TGIF?

2011-10-08T17:09:00.020-05:00

First, lemme preface this rant by remindin all y'all that I take Tamoxifen...& am therefore easily emotional/aggravated/perturbed/pissed off. Ok, got that? Good. (Poor O...)

Sooo, yesterday started out like it was gonna be a pretty damn great Friday. Had lunch scheduled with some friends, had a hair consultation booked, & we had a shoot that evening that didn't seem like it was gonna be difficult at all, but actually fun. So off I go to my lunch. Lovely lunch with friends. Chinese. We do it every Friday. Then off to the hair consultation. Lovely stylist that I've known for years. Been goin to the salon where she used to work for years. Well, before my hair fell out from chemo....But learned she's too expensive (for me anyway) to do the cut. I like what she was sayin & all, but damn! $75! I just can't pay that for a little "shape up & blend" kinda 'do. So was a bit deflated when I left. But s'ok, I wasn't wanting a cut right then & there anyway. Just suggestions...

Next up....video shoot....all went well. It videotaped much better than we expected. And then some fun visiting & catchin up with a few friends who were there that we haven't seen in awhile. A pretty lovely Friday so far, yeah?

And then it started happening...

O: "Hey, let's go to that new Chinese restaurant & have dinner."

Me: "Yeah, we said we wanted to do that....but I did have Chinese for lunch today."

O: "Right. So let's go to *Restaurant That Is Named After The Street It's On* I guess...."

Me: "Cool! You need to order onion rings so I can have a couple!"

We've been eatin at this newish restaurant quite a bit lately....Let's call it the Hwy Main St Grill & Bar....got the same server we've had the last couple of times. She was not surprised that I ordered the salad with grilled chicken on it...again...O ordered the burger with onion rings. Server brought out the bread & drinks. We see some people we know & wave....It's about 8:15, pretty busy, but servers constantly comin out with food....for everyone....except us. But we were havin a conversation & didn't realize that yeah, pretty much everyone had been served & was cleared away & our food never came. Our server then says, "Your food should be out any minute...lemme go check." And then she comes out without anything. And goes back in & comes out with our food. Which clearly had been sittin in the window for QUITE some time. Burger, rings, chicken...stone cold.

Me: "This has been in the window for quite a while, huh..."
Server: "I dunno....I haven't really been back there..."

Yeah, NO KIDDING! Otherwise, you would have brought us our food like, 30 minutes ago!

So we tell her to take it back & we need to go....we've been here like 45 minutes, gettin late...we'll have to grab somethin somewhere else...

So we're gonna end up with fast food. Yuck. Seems like every time we try to get food, there's always something in the way, or difficulty or something. Anyway......I remembered that we needed to run by the store really quick & grab some coffee, milk & half & half....Quick....right....So I'm tryin to get down the aisles, & of course you can't for all the pallets bein pulled...cause it is gettin kinda late at night & of course they're stockin shelves. And if it wasn't pallets causin me frustration, it was people...who just like....STAND there...right in the way...oblivious....as if they're in a daze....or on drugs or something....never thought that 2 people could clog up an entire grocery aisle, but these people managed to do it...Now I'm gettin frustrated....can't seem to move in here without bein in somebody's way. (Some of you may know about our "magnetic attraction" issues...we walk into an empty place, & then BAM! We're crowded by all these people...) Anyway...finally get our stuff...same thing in the parkin lot. Can't back out...the whole effin population of the town we live in has decided to walk behind the car with the reverse lights on! I'm like REALLY??? Mind, I get that nothin really traumatic has happened, but I'm an emotional Tamoxifen person, who hasn't eaten in like 10 hours at this point....

Get to the fast food joint...hopin to get home & eat & get in a scary movie blu ray before it gets too terribly late....order the food...get to the window to get it....they didn't make my food...only O's. Which we realized right as we pulled away from the window....couldn't back up cause OF COURSE the next car had already pulled up & had cars behind them....So here I go up to the window:

*Knocks on window* "Y'all forgot my salad."

Drive Thru Chickie: "What salad?"

Me: "The salad that we ordered along with the other stuff."

Chickie lookin around, askin other fast food people...."did ya get that salad?"

Fast Food Workers: "What salad??"

Yeah...by this time I'm gettin very aggravated....Walk back to the car, get the receipt from O, show it to Chickie...."THIS salad!" Chickie takes receipt & disappears into the store for a couple of minutes. The car in line next is gettin quite the show. A girl leans out of the car window & shouts "Yeah, tell those motherfuckers they better get dat shit right! Damn!" I'm all like, "I know, right! GAWD!"

Ahhhh, here comes Chickie: "So, gonna be about 2, 2 or 3 minutes longer on that salad...." And I'm just REALLY pissed off & ready to be home at this point. So I just tell her to refund the salad...(as if I trust these people to make my salad now!)

And then, STILL tryin to get home....the crazy Friday night rude/drunk/inattentive drivers were DEF out. O was like "Just gotta laugh at this point..." But I wasn't laughin. I'd HAD it. Just Get. Us. Home.

And again...I realize after readin over what I've written above, doesn't seem to be all that traumatic/difficult/awful....but if you had been there....yeah....it's one of those "guess ya had to be there" deals, fueled by the lovely affects of Tamoxifen, & combined with bad servers, oblivious slack jawed rude shoppers, & typical drive thru stuff.

And I'm not leavin my house the rest of the weekend. Nope.

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T20:32:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace Steve Jobs.

Cancer sucks.

Look What I Can Do!

2011-09-29T13:56:00.005-05:00

YAY! Look at what I can now do! This is right at 21 months post chemo. I still need to get the chemo fuzz trimmed off, but trying to hold out till that damned top layer gets below my jaw....seems like I still have a couple of inches to go. Maybe I'll have a real 'do by Christmas!

What else is goin on.....hmmm.....well, I keep on gettin crappy cancer news from my friends. Have I mentioned lately how much I fuckin HATE fuckin cancer? FUCK! Anyway, yeah, another person at my insurance office job has a recent diagnosis & a surgery next week. My other friend at the office is in the process of gettin a second opinion from a new oncologist to find out WTF is goin on. And then there's this. And this. Normally I L O V E to read this awesome lady's posts. And she's even encouraged me in my "battle of the bullshit" as she calls it, through emails & Facebook & stuff. But these latest 2 posts, tellin of her recent diagnosis of Stage IV distant spread to the bones? Yeah. Gutted to learn this. It just seems like every time I get a bit of good news about my cancer situation, I learn of someone else that I care about gettin bad news about theirs. I mean, my insurance office job is very small. And now, 50% of the staff have/had cancer. And I'm supposed to remain positive. Right.

But this most recent visit with my awesome surgeon Dr V, was more like catchin up with a friend. Well, ok, maybe not exactly like that, but I wasn't all kind of freaked out for a change. In fact, we were sharin stories & doin a lot of laughin through the exam. So, that was one medical visit I actually enjoyed. Well, except for the exam part.

And the trial of Michael Jackson's doctor is all over the news. And it's a reminder to me, because he passed away on the day of my biopsy. So hearin all about what happened & all just is makin me sick & sad. Sad for the loss of such an icon & really awesome entertainer, & sick cause it does conjure up those feelings again...the awful dreaded feelin of waiting to find out if you have cancer.

So anyway, wow, this post is all over the place. But that's me lately.

We've Only Just Begun....

2011-09-25T17:02:00.003-05:00

....to see the Pinkwashing. And it's not even October. I've been back & forth with my thoughts on the Pink Ribbon...I know some breast cancer survivors who are so totally ANTI pink...& then I know some who completely cover themselves in pink...

I do display a pink ribbon here & there. Mostly as a show of support & solidarity to other survivors...& recognition...you know, so other survivors might recognize I am one too. Or maybe a newly diagnosed person will realize I'm a survivor too & then I get the opportunity to try to ease the fears, talk, & help in some way.

Sooooooo....here's just a few of the Pinkwashing items I've come across lately....

I do get that for some, seein all this pink & pink ribbons is a painful, sad reminder. But for others, they see it as an inspiration to keep fighting. I'm just not so sure about all the products that go pink this time of year.

I mean, I see these batteries, & I'm all like, REALLY? But then again, I can see the funds raised are really going to a real & very recognized breast cancer charity. And they do help people, & research & stuff.

Sooooooo, again, I'll just remind y'all to THINK before you PINK. Make sure that the pinkness you're buying shows WHERE the funds are goin & HOW MUCH money from each unit sold is bein donated. Or is the product just simply for awareness....

October is, for me, so much more than breast cancer awareness month. It's Autumn, it's awesome, & it's Halloween time. And yes, my Halloween deco is all out!

YAY!

Ch-ch-ch Changes......

2011-09-22T20:35:00.000-05:00

Soooooooo, Zuckerberg & Co have made major changes to Facebook. And at first I was pretty irritated about it. BUT...after spending some time learning about the new features, I actually like it. What surprises me is that the public's outcry for "old Facebook" has actually made the news...both internet news & broadcast too.

Really?

C'mon now! Give it a chance. And to those of you who want to continually lament & cry & demand FB go back to how it was...

Keepin Y'all "Abreast"......

2011-09-18T10:29:00.000-05:00

Yeah.....I'm just not that creative lately...thus the cheesy post title. Anyway....mammo came out all good. The nurse quoted the doc as saying: "She looks good." So *whew!* BUT, he wants to get one more look at the scar/tumor site with a mammo on that side only in six months. THEN, provided it still looks good, he'll release me to havin Annual Diagnostic Mammos. Not because of anything he saw, but just to be safe.

Next up: The follow up with the awesome surgeon, Dr V. He usually just confirms the mammo results, does his own examination of the boobies, & that's that. Seein as how a digital mammo totally didn't show my tumor, I'm glad I have someone lookin after them with me. And because of that, I always show up a tad bit nervous, till he finishes feelin 'em & gives me the thumbs up.

I also took a couple weeks off from work. There's just all these appointments for the medical stuff, and several video shoots I need to help O with. Now that he's no longer teachin, we're focusin on tryin to get the video biz doin well again. And there are some things happenin with that.

Soooooo, times are interesting for sure. Not that you'd know from this (boring) blog entry. My writing skills have definitely dulled. Thanks chemo brain.

Milestone Mammo Mornin

2011-09-13T14:26:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I will have a bit of a "milestone" mammogram. I do believe that as long as this mammo looks fine, I will be allowed to go to Annual Diagnostic Mammos instead of the every 6 months we've been doin. And, it also falls on the anniversary of the day I had to shave my head in 2009. Sooo, in memory of that, I wanted to share a photo here:

Know what I call this? I call this "A Beautiful Thing"...hair tools & products spread out on my bathroom counter. Yep, even though I'm at (yet another) in between, non-'do hair situation, I do now require some of my favorite hair things. I could probably get a style cut in now, but I'm holdin out for when I can get a 'do I'll actually like the looks of. For now, I'm fine with the ponytail or the curly in the headband thing while it grows out. Was told by my hair lady (she was cuttin O's hair) that it appears to be growin fast at the moment. YAYAYAY!!!

Anyway, so yeah....mammo tomorrow. Yes I'm nervous. Follow up with Dr V next week. And the week followin that is that awful sonogram thing with Dr D. And this week also marks Year 1 of 5 on Tamoxifen. So far so good.

And we're totally ready for the dern weather to cool off & stay cooled off.

I Forgot. And It's Awesome.

2011-08-28T10:00:00.001-05:00

Two years ago yesterday, I sat down in a recliner chair & received my 1st chemo. Yesterday I was out & about with my friend, & between all of our shoppin, lunchin, bitchin about this never ending, hell-like, gawd awful heat, I totally forgot that it was the anniversary of my 1st chemo. And it occurs to me....aside from me saying "That was the cancer fighting portion of the day..." as I took the Tamoxifen after lunch, I don't think there was any other cancer related conversation.

Another Hair Regrowth Update

2011-08-20T11:27:00.000-05:00

August hair regrowth update: Exactly 20 months from the last chemo. This is flat ironed.

Between Appointments & A Random Tip

2011-08-13T10:42:00.002-05:00

Ok, just a quickie here. I'm enjoying this lull of down time between the flurry of appointments. Saw the lovely Oncologist, Dr W this week. Said the chest X-ray looked good, blood work looks great. Great. Discussed when he's comfortable with seeing me every 6 months as opposed to the every 3 months we've been doing since this all began in 2009. He says he likes to keep on the 3 month plan until 2 years have passed since finishing Herceptin. That will be in a year. But, he did say that, if I want, if the next 3 month check up is all good, he'd go ahead & start the 6 month thing. Nice that he's that confident. But....I think I'd prefer to keep up the 3 month thing for another year. I mean, there's a REASON that this is his protocol. Right? So, yeah....gonna tell him that in November when I see him again.

I did not yet order the genetic testing. I had planned to have him include it in his orders for our next visit in November...but decided I don't want the results of that hanging over me during the holidays. And then if the result is positive....well....yeah....not gonna go there right now.

Next up....Mammogram mid September, followed by the appointment with the awesome surgeon, Dr V.

Meanwhile....as I type, it is sprinkling & temps are in the 70s. SEVENTIES! I wish I could say that this is the beginning of a change in our weather pattern, but 'fraid not. Today is supposed to reach 102, & the rest of the week will see temps reach between 104 - 106. So....yeah. Weather wise, this has been a miserable summer. Hot. Dry. This bit of rain isn't gonna help much. It's too late for most of the farmers around here. I drive to work every day through a couple of huge corn fields. And it never even got far enough to make ears. And it's all just dead now. A sad sight really.

And finally...here's a random cool thing I learned last night at a "Last Bash of Summer" party we went to. When making guacamole....leave the pit in it. It will keep it from turning brown. I've always heard the only way to prevent avocado from turning was to squirt lemon juice on it...but this pit thing really works. Even late in the evening...long after all the guac was gone (it was SO good & disappeared F A S T), what bits of it was on the pits in the bowl was just as fresh & green lookin. So there's your tip of the day. Leave the avo pits in the guac.

Ok, gotta go get some cardio in....

Hair Regrowth Update

2011-07-24T17:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, so just a quickie hair regrowth after chemo update. Here it is today, 19 1/2 months from the last chemo.

I'm pretty much just lettin it do the chemo curl & headband thing while I continue to grow it out. After a day or so, I blow out the curls & do the ponytail. So now I'm just on a grow out mission. Not gonna cut it again till that shortest top layer has reached my jaw. About 3 more inches I think.

On another note, we saw some cool Halloween stuff in a store today! YAY! Sooooo ready for fall. Yep.

2 Years Today

2011-07-23T11:19:00.002-05:00

So today is a bit of a milestone for me. Two years ago today, the awesome Dr V performed the second lumpectomy & got the clear margins. So I am 2 years "cancer free" today. Ok, so they don't really like to say "cancer free". Or even remission just yet. So they say NED. So I been "dancin with NED" for 2 years. (No Evidence of Disease for y'all not hip on the cancer lingo.) BUT...I am reserving the celebration until this next upcoming flurry of medical visits & tests confirm that. And why is it a milestone? Well, the docs all tell me that "most of the time" if it's gonna come back, it'll do it within 2 years. But the BIG milestone is the 5 year mark.

Yep, here we go again....starting next month, another round of pokin, proddin, squashin, testin & all. First the 6 month chest x-ray, followed by the 3 month visit with the Oncologist, Dr W, which includes blood work. Then the 6 month mammogram followed by the 6 month visit with Dr V. And so long as they all say "it's all good", THEN we will party...fo sho.

But, I still have another couple of weeks before I have to think (stress & obsess?) about that. So not gonna.

Other than that, gettin pretty damn sick of this stupid 100+ degree heat every-single-frakkin-day. We just can't catch a break. At all. And no end in sight. Rain dance anyone?

Back To Life, Back To Reality....

2011-07-16T12:06:00.001-05:00

Yes, all good things must come to an end. We sure did enjoy our vacation. And so what's been goin on during the couple of weeks it took me to get my Vacation Series all blogged out? OMG. Ever heard the expression "too much reality"? Yeah. It actually started the day before we left on vacation, with air conditioner issues resulting in an (expensive) after hours service call.

Upon return from vacation, we find the garbage disposal is leaking. Yep. Water just streaming out of the bottom. We knew it was goin out. And had been wanting to replace the sink for awhile anyway, so 1st day back & we're doin sink/disposal tear out/install. Luckily, O has some plumbing experience & knows how to do all this. And a fine job too. Looks great.

Couple of days later, on the way home from a shoot....late at night. Ran a skunk over. OMG. There was NO avoiding it. Like he pulled the Geico squirrel commercial thing....you know, where they wait till just the right second to run right out in front of the car. Talk about stink. Instantaneous gawd awful stink. And since it's after midnight, we just went home. Probably shouldn't have parked in the garage, but did anyway. Yeah. Stunk up the garage, & the laundry room.

First thing the next morning, after a major car wash, complete with undercarriage spray & under the hood sprayin, still stinky. But we quickly got it under control. Let me brag about a couple of great products. First: Zero Odor. This stuff is awesome. Knocked down the skunk smell 100%. This is great great stuff. If it can handle skunk smell, you KNOW it can handle most regular household or cooking odors. Yeah. Love this stuff. And for good measure, we got some of these Odor Absorbing Bags & put one in the trunk & one inside the car, where they remain still. Sorry, no pic of those. But they look like mesh bags with little light color rocks inside. I've used them for years in closets & stuff. Great great great! Planning on takin them out of the car in a day or two & see what happens.

And the heat. Jeez, we just can't catch a break. Just makes everything so difficult. Don't wanna turn on any cooking appliance. And there's no end in sight. Yay.

And we continue to deal with a bit of a stressful situation...& I don't want to be bloggin about all that just yet. But yeah, more reality.

Finally, welcome new subscribers! *waves* I hope you enjoy my blog. You'll read a lot about my hair issues, my breast cancer stuff, & my medical appointment freak outs. And just general randomosity. (Is that even a word?)

Vacation - Part 5: A Fish Tale

2011-07-09T17:22:00.001-05:00

After a nice time at the beach, we headed back to get cleaned up for our last dinner in town. And we went to a VERY awesome restaurant called Fish Tales. Best. Shrimp. EVER. And I think it's now one of my new fave place to go when we visit, right up there with Spanky's. And it's like, 5 minutes from my mom's house, AND right on water, which I love. Anyway, we had a very good dinner & some cocktails. And the sun was setting, so I ran out to grab what I think is one of the best sunset pics ever taken by an old BlackBerry camera. Yep. Check it!

Was a really really nice vacation. And we totally needed one. But it just went by too damn fast. There were some friends I had hoped to get together with that I didn't get to, due to losing part of our trip because of the stupid airline fiasco. And we had also wanted to get together with the family more than the one time too, but again, time just flew. I think next time we need to schedule to be there for at least 2 -3 more days. I dunno.

The plane rides back home were awful. Bumpy bumpy bumpy & had to navigate around weather, extending one of the flights by 45 minutes.

Yeah, I need to learn how to be a better flyer & try to go at least 3 times a year. We can't wait to go back.

Vacation - Part 4: Life's A Beach!

2011-07-04T10:50:00.001-05:00

So, our last day in town, we made it down to the beach, Tybee Island. I loooove Tybee. Such a fun beach community. I totally could (wish) live there. On the way, we spotted the famous Uncle Bubba's Oyster House restaurant. Of course we had to stop & have lunch. Soooooooo good! We started with the Shore Is Good Seafood Dip. Yep. Shore was GOOOOOD. For lunch I had the Crab Cakes with Savannah Red Rice. O got blackened shrimp & collards. Both also AWESOME. Yeah, been thinkin bout it ever since.

So, after eating WAY too much, we continued on to the beach. But again, it was just SO DAMN HOT! Unseasonably hot. So we didn't stay very long. But I did get to put meh feets in the water & take a few pics.

Next, the last installment in my vacation bloggin....A Fish Tale.

Vacation - Part 3: Things'll Be Great When You're DOWNTOWN......

2011-07-02T10:32:00.003-05:00

Next day we headed back downtown to browse some shops & just play around in the Historic District, drive the Squares, & take the pic in front of Mercer House like we always do. It was waaaaay hot though, so we didn't stay as long as we usually do. The fountain in Forsyth Park was not on, so didn't get the picture of that. But we did try Five Guys Burgers & Fries. OH. EM. GEE. SOOOO good. We really love hangin out Downtown. So here's a few pics.

Mercer House

Next, Life's A Beach!

Vacation - Part 2: Up On The Roof

2011-06-26T16:25:00.003-05:00

Ok, so we were able to get our tickets switched for the following day &successfully made it out & vacation was officially on! I really don't love flying, but gotta do whatcha gotta do.

So we get into town & head out to dinner & drinks. Awesome. As usual. We always go to Longhorn Steakhouse on our way to Mom's from the airport. Great steaks & great martinis. That's pretty much travel in to town day.

Next day, we head down to River Street. One of my FAVORITE places in Savannah to visit. And you have to eat at Spanky's when you go there. Best. Chicken Fingers. Ever. Yep. Gotta get Hot Bread & Cheese, & a Fingers & Spuds basket. And O got me a Spanky's Tshirt. And we browsed around a bit.

It was unseasonably hot while we were there. So it was time for a nice cold drink. So we headed to a new place - Rocks On The Roof, at the top of a hotel on River Street & I had the BEST martini. It was called a Pomegranate Sunset. And It was GOOOOD. Very nice place, this Rocks place. You can sit inside, or outside. And since you're up on the roof, you get a great view of the river, the Talmadge Bridge, & the new War Memorial.

Headed back home to rest & relax a bit before the big family get together & Low Country Boil Feast. Really enjoyed hanging out with the family & enjoying great, fresh seafood! Just wish we could have gotten together more than just the one time.

Next, Vacation - Part 3: Things'll Be Great When You're DOWNTOWN!

Vacation - Part 1: I Just Ran.......

2011-06-23T20:22:00.001-05:00

Finally took a vacation & flew back home to see the family. First time since right before my diagnosis. Last time I went home, I went with the lump in the boobie. Yep. I took my tumor on vacation. And half of that trip was messed up because the airline lost our bags for 3 days of the 5 day trip.

Soooooo, this time, we packed light, followed the airline's guidelines for carry on bags, & planned to carry everything on...NO CHECKING bags. So you can just imagine how much I totally freaked when, as we're approaching the plane at the end of the jetway, the 2 airline agents start checking all bags. And it was all like hurry hurry....because even as we stood there in the jetway, with about 50 people behind us, all with carry on bags, the flight was about 35 minutes past the scheduled departure time. So yeah, I started freaking out. Tried to reason with the female agent that I canNOT be separated from my bag. Got medical stuff in it, ya know? Plus, last time, y'all lost it! Nope. MUST check it - all the way through to final destination. (We had a short layover/plane change.) All out of room in the overhead storage. So then as O is trying to open our duffel to remove my medication, this crazy airline agent lady is all swattin his hand away & trying to tag the bags, without even having looked at our itinerary or boarding passes to even know where the fuck we're going!!

We were all like, Oh HELL no! This ain't EVEN happening. And I just ran. O grabbed the bags & followed, but I pretty much just ran back down the jetway. "Let me offa here NOW! I am NOT gettin on this plane!!" Of course, at the end of the jetway, the door is closed. And I stop & look at it. And think. Oh shit. What if the door is locked? Or what if an alarm sounds when I open it? Fuck it! I pushed on it & it opened (thankfully). Dunno if an alarm sounded at all, but all I knew was, we were outta there, WITH our bags.

SO, maybe someone can explain this to me. If the airline states everyone is allowed ONE carry on bag that fits overhead, & ONE personal item that fits under the seat in front of you, how the FUCK are they already out of room when there was still 50 some odd people yet to board? I mean, clearly some people carried on more than the airlines allow per person. They were even insisting we check our duffel bag, which is usually our only carry on. Never EVER been told we needed to check that. And isn't it these airline people's responsibility to make sure everyone follows the carry on rules? No way was I lettin them check the bags, especially the way they were going about it. OMG they would've been lost for sure.

Anyway, so we lost a day of our trip. Better than our bags being lost for most of the trip. Next, Vacation - Part 2: Up On The Roof.

Lost Another....

2011-06-22T15:45:00.001-05:00

I'm just so sick of it, this cancer crap. We recently learned of the passing of a very nice lady that I had gotten sorta close with through work (in the video company). She & I used to cheer each other on, as we were battling our cancers at the same time. And now she's done battling. And we're just so sad about it.

I didn't realize she was battling Stage 4 stuff. Until about 8 months ago (?), I thought her prognosis was similar to mine, especially since she got her pic line removed just a week or so before my mediport was removed. She just carried herself with such pep & happiness. I mean, I don't think I ever saw her without a huge smile on her face. So, as her Caring Bridge updates started reading differently, I feared I'd get a notification about an update that I never ever wanted to read. And it happened. Saturday. And I just can't believe it.

Here is a note she posted on my CarePage in response to an update (rant):

"Ah, you put a BIG smile on my face today! I'm soooo there with ya sister.... Dealing with insurance SUCKS, that's the bottom line, but I'm grateful we (you and me) have it!
And it's quite okay to be the cancer drama queen, just make sure your tiara stays on straight and doesn't fall off! LOVE YA and Praying for ya, W"

Ms. W, thank you for all the kind words & encouragement. I hope you know how much we admired your strength & positive attitude....We're thinkin of you & your family.

I cannot find words to get across what I feel about this. So will just stop here.

Ooops! I Did It Again.....

2011-06-12T16:12:00.010-05:00

Good lord! It's been ages since I did an update it seems. So, what's been goin on....well, recently I had (another) chance to thank & hug my hospital medical team. My friend, M, was having a day surgery procedure, & it's all the same staff as when I was in there in 2009. She even got the exact same nurse I had. Was fun to visit with them & not be on the receiving end of their awesome services. They actually remembered me, too. No, really, they weren't just sayin they did, I could tell they really did. And so I made sure to tell them how much I appreciated all their hard work & thank them for the roll they played in my being healthy & here today. I can tell they don't get that from former patients often. Even got to see Dr V there too. Which was fun. He popped in the room while we were waiting for them to bring M back from recovery. Yep. I did it again. Right in front of M's husband, R, too. Turned into a squealin, twitterin idiot. I mean, you woulda thought Craig Ferguson had walked into the room. M later told me that R told her I "turned into a high school fangirl". Or something like that. Yeah.....he probably wasn't expectin me to be all like
"DR VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" with raised arms & giant hug & stuff. Right. Sorry Dr V. *shakes head & rolls eyes in disbelief*

And I've decided that I'd better get the damned genetic testing done. So, that will be happening in the next few weeks. Takes about 2 weeks to get results. Trying to time it out with my next 3 month visit to the oncologist, Dr W. That way, while I'm there, he can go ahead & tell me my X-ray looks good, my blood is still beautiful, & I do NOT have the BRCA gene. That's fully what I expect to (better) hear. Still kinda wonderin why this testing wasn't done in the beginning of all this breast cancer bullshit. I mean, had we done the testing, & if it said I had the gene, I probably would have made different decisions with the surgeries & stuff. But, I probably don't have it. We're just gonna make sure of that with the test.

And finally. Hair regrowth after chemo. I finally let my hair stylist cut a 'do. And I can't deal with it. Shoulda waited a bit longer. But oh well. It's not like it's the 1st time I've told her to do a cut & not liked it. Ooops! Yeah. But I also figure, with as far as I have to go, er - GROW, to be "happy" with my hair, what's one bad haircut? I mean, really. BUT, I will say this: I LOVE havin hair to have issues with. Love love love!

Ooops! I did it again.

Some Words Of Wisdom I've Learned Over The Years...

2011-05-28T20:04:00.009-05:00

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

Stop making that face. It might freeze that way.

Don't believe everything you read/hear.

It takes one to know one.

There are two sides to every story.

Slippery when wet.
Nobody's perfect.
Count your blessings.

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Karma's a bitch.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

Look both ways.

Patience is a virtue.

It takes two to tango.

Measure twice, saw once.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Rome wasn't built in a day.
Everyone makes mistakes.

Slow & steady wins the race.

Life isn't fair.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Actions speak louder than words.

Never ask "What next?"

Blood is thicker than water.
Take nothing for granted.

Don't bite off more than you can chew.

Stop and smell the roses.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Don't cry over spilled milk.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Haste makes waste.

Two's company, three's a crowd.
What goes around, comes around.

Practice makes perfect.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

A fool & his money are soon parted.
You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Let sleeping dogs lie.
A penny saved is a penny earned.

When it rains, it pours.

You are what you eat.

Honesty is the best policy.
We are not promised tomorrow.

You can't take it with you.

Give peace a chance.
Life ain't for sissies.
Never, ever give up.
If you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Don't take life too seriously. It's NOT permanent.
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

These come to mind today.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

2011-05-28T09:42:00.001-05:00

Doncha just love a long weekend? We sure do. Especially after the week we've had. Not gonna go into a bunch of details here, but let's just say, I'm ready to just relax & not think about certain stuff for awhile. So, in honor of Memorial Day, I thought I'd share a video O & I produced for Amy Douglas. We were so excited & honored to do this video for her. And I always say this, when I share this video around: Regardless of your feelings about the war/our military actions, & whether or not you think our men & women in military service should or should not be over there, they are there. I thought Amy wrote a really great song reminding us there are other "heros" we should remember. Not just on Memorial Day & Fourth of July.

So yeah, even though I'm lookin forward to a long weekend & barbecue & stuff, I still try to remember the meanings of the holidays we get.


BTS Hero at Home 2008

And just for fun, here's a Behind the Scenes pic of me helping with the video shoot. I'm trying to reflect light onto her while she sings for the camera. This location/outfit didn't make it into the video though.

So anyway, hope everyone has a nice weekend. =)

Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back.

2011-05-22T10:37:00.006-05:00

So, we did the Relay for Life again this year. It was moved indoors due to stormy weather in the forcast. It was a great event. We didn't stay all night though. Maybe next year.

I liked the shirt for this one better than last year's too. I like what it says:

Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back.

I still can't believe I own a Survivor shirt.

Sooooooo, I do have much to celebrate. Especially over the next couple of months. My birthday is comin up. I didn't used to care about celebratin that, but I sure do now. I'm also finally takin a vacation trip back home to Savannah. Should be tons of celebratin while we're there! ;) My 2 Year "cancer-free", or rather, "No Evidence of Disease" (docs don't like to say you're ever "cancer free" anymore) is in July. I'm told that's a major milestone in surviving breast cancer bs. The docs all say that most of the time, if it's gonna come back, it will do it sooner rather than later...most times within 2 years. So yeah, might wanna have a bit of a celebration on that day.

And I also Remember.... I Remember those who lost their "race", & also those who are still actively in the "race". And I also need to remember that every one & every case is different. My "race" is mine. And if I hope to "win" this "race", I need to continue to Fight Back.

Yes, after talkin with Dr W, & after a very good chat with Dr V, I've decided to go ahead & move forward with the stupid ass Genetic Testing. I really should know if I have the BRCA1/BRCA2 gene. It's doubtful that I will test positive. But yeah, kinda need to know. Cause if I do, I will have to Fight Back in the form of more surgeries. But then I will have reduced my chance of having to go through future treatments dramatically. Of course it's no guarantee. But if I'm positive & do nothing, chances are pretty certain that I'll get it again. And I think I'd rather Fight Back with a preemptive strike. Yeah. Kinda don't wanna do the chemo/radiation thing again. So gonna be lining that up to be done.

So that's the plan for now. Celebrate. Remember. FIGHT BACK.

Insert Witty Title Here

2011-05-15T11:26:00.001-05:00

Yeah, been needin to do a "real" update for awhile. And while I don't think I'm the greatest writer in the world, I just haven't felt very creative lately, even though there's been lots goin on to blog about. So I'll just put it out there...the what's what with us lately.

First, Dr W said the blood looked fine. And I finally learned what the tests he orders are, once & for all. And the one I was most nervous about, isn't even being done. So there. No need to be skeered of the Oncologist check up appointment anymore. It's the chest X-Ray I can now have the freak out over. Which I'll need to get done before I see Dr W again in August. Yep. So every 6 months, for I dunno how long, I get the chest X-Ray & hope it remains clear.

He also wanted to discuss genetic testing with me. You know, to see if I test positive for the BRCA1 & BRCA2 genes. I have mixed feelings about doing this. I get that, since I have had breast cancer, it might be a good idea to get the test done. A positive result would indicate that I'm at an increased risk of getting it again, or worse, getting ovarian cancer. So then I could take steps to lessen that risk...double mastectomy, ovaries removed. But even then, it's not a 100% guarantee that I won't have to deal with cancer ever again. Also, a positive result is not a 100% guarantee that I WILL get cancer again. And then there's the family to consider. A positive result would then behoove the women-folk in my family to undergo testing as well. On the flip side, a negative result is not a 100% guarantee that I will not get cancer ever again.

Soooooooooooooo, what to do, what to do? I'm kinda leaning toward not doing it. I'm thinking that, if the gene mutation was in my family, with all the women that are in my family, I really think there would be a suspicion by now. But seeing as how none of these awesome women in my family have even had so much as a cancer scare, I seriously doubt the gene is there. But then again, I did get breast cancer, with no family history of it. So maybe I do have the gene. I mean, can ya see how I'm goin round & round with this? Other things....can I deal with the emotional stress if I do the test, come up positive for the gene, but opt to not do preventative surgery? Can I deal with more surgery? Am I ready to say goodbye to my (for the moment) healthy boob-and-a-half & ovaries? Eh, I put a call in to my surgeon, Dr V, to see what he thinks. Hope we can have a discussion about this soon. Dr W wants me to do it I think, as apparently there are some guidelines that indicate people under 50, who have had a diagnosis, should be tested. Lovely.

Ok, next topic is my hair regrowth. I'm about ready to get an honest-to-god HAIRDO cut. But the one criteria is: I must still be able to get a little ponytail.

These are 17 months from last chemo.

Last weekend, we went to an IMAX theater. Those are SO fun. Even though I get a bit of vertigo when I'm in there, it's still loads of fun. We went to see the movie "Tornado Alley". And I was cracking up that it was narrated by Bill Paxton! Love that. Anyway, it's impossible to get a good pic of what it's like inside an IMAX. So these will just have to do.

And here is a nice pic of part of a rainbow I took with my cell phone after a very stormy afternoon.

And so, I think we're all caught up for the moment. Oh, also, I apologize subscribers, for the weirdo notification emails you've gotten recently. Blogger has been having some issues. I think they've got it all fixed now. So, thanks for not stopping your subscriptions.

Every Three Months On A Thursday....

2011-05-12T08:02:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's that time again. Time for the 3 month check with the Oncologist, Dr W. Didn't used to be nervous about this appointment, but now that I know what the blood work tells him...yeah, I'm a bundle of nerves till I hear the magic words...."blood looks good/great/fine/beautiful." Will be back to let you know how it goes.

It's A Great Day For America Everybody!

2011-05-02T17:09:00.002-05:00

"It's a great day for America everybody, yes it is!" -Craig Ferguson

We saw Craig Ferguson's live standup show. Very very funny. Really enjoyed seeing him live. No, I didn't get to meet him or anything. It was enough just to have gone to the show. We had really nice box seats in a REALLY nice theater.

So then on the way home, I'm checkin the Tweety on my BlackBerry, & I see all these posts that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. We picked up the pace & got home PDQ in time to catch the POTUS speech about it.

And so, Craig is right. In more ways than one.

I saw Craig.

Bin Laden is dead.

Mission Accomplished.

Hot & Cold

2011-04-23T09:57:00.002-05:00

So, we have a new fave Hot Sauce around here. Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce. I like to call it "Rooster Sauce". Last weekend O & I had a fun "Sushi Sunday" at our favorite mall, Northpark. Sushi Sunday is when you pop up to the mall, run in the Kona Grill, grab a few sushi rolls & then catch a movie at the mall's nice theater. So we usually order: Crab Crunch, Philadelphia Roll & California Roll. The waiter told us we should try this hot sauce with our sushi. And he also brought extra Eel Sauce. But anyway....I'm like, "Eh...whatever" when it comes to California Roll. You know...like it's not really "all that". Until you put Rooster Sauce on it. HFS! And then the waiter is all tellin us all the different ways he uses it. And since then, we got some & O is putting it on EVERYTHING. (Great on a burger & to dip fries in, BTW.)
I'm going to attempt a recipe for deviled eggs with it. Check THIS out:
Kalyn's Sriracha Deviled Eggs Perfect for Easter weekend, right! Also was told that if you mix it with ketchup, it's great to give some kick to a hot dog. Mmmmmmm! If it's HOT & spicy. We like it.

And we also like some cold stuff too. Especially if you've had a "Monday" kinda Monday...or a "Monday" kinda Wednesday....or a "Monday" kinda *insert day/time/event here* The cure for the "Monday's"? Sometimes nothin but a nice martini will do! I shake up one awesome tastin Vodka Martini. I like mine just slightly dirty...O likes his "regular" dirty. Just grab those martini glasses outta the freezer, shake up some of the "good" vodka (I prefer Grey Goose), & chill the eff out. Ya know what I always say: "It's 5 o'clock somewhere!"

Enjoying a nice 3 day weekend around here. And hopin next week doesn't have too many "Mondays". Know what I mean? And there are things going on, that I just cannot blog about right now. But suffice it to say, we're all Hot & Cold about all of it.

Ain't Too Proud To Beg (Confessions of a Fourty-Something Fan Girl)

2011-04-16T15:52:00.002-05:00

"If you watch this show, you watch it because you found it. No one told you it was on. There’s no bus ads for Craigy, there’s no billboards, there’s no promotion. You found this show because you found it, and if you’ve stayed with it any length of time it’s because you’re interested..." -Craig Ferguson

Yep. That's how it was for me. I just found him. (People who know me are, right about now thinkin, "aww jeez, more flailing & fainting about that Craig Ferguson!" Yep. You betcha!) ANYWAY, I'm FINALLY going to get to see him LIVE... He's FINALLY comin *to my region*! #NotLikeThat! (Or #ExactlyLikeThat? LOL) No flags will pop on, no "whassacominago", or "oooh la la" or anything. And I'm probably more excited about it than anyone else who will also be in attendance. Why? Why would I be the most excited? I imagine it would have to do with the how & when I discovered @CraigyFerg. Better known as Craig Ferguson, to those who don't do the Tweety. (Twitter).

It was in 2009. Late summer. I had been diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer at the end of June, just a couple weeks past my 40th birthday. I think it might actually have been after my first round of chemo. I think I still had my hair. It was the darkest period of my life. I had become so depressed. Cried a lot. Wondered what kind of life will I have from this point on? Things will NEVER be the same. Will I EVER smile again?? Would I ever laugh again?? Because I hadn't done any of those things in quite some time.

It was late at night for me for a weeknight. I couldn't sleep. I was just going over & over in my mind about this terrible turn life had taken for me & my husband. (Who, BTW, has been & continues to be AWESOME & also played the BIGGEST role in gettin me through "cancer-hell", as well as my friends & family too...but this is my "Craig-story.") Anyway, so I turned on the TV. Flippin through the channels, I stopped on one because I just HAD to see WTF was going on with puppets on CBS around 11:30ish. I so wish I could remember exactly what episode it was. But I do believe it was something with the puppets. And the next thing I knew, half an hour had gone by. And I had been smiling & laughing the entire time. Real laughter. Which I hadn't done in what felt like ages. And it felt good to smile. Felt good to easily & naturally laugh.

Soooooo, I made it a habit to "stay up late" & watch The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. A guaranteed smile/laugh-fest daily. And it was at that point that I think I turned a corner. It's weird, but I do believe I rejoined the land of the living after that. Was able to get together with friends & actually enjoy life again. And realize that it's going to be ok.

So. Is Craig the cure for cancer? No. But for me, he definitely played a big role in my recovery from cancer treatment. I even got to contribute to a music video that was (awesomely) made as a gift for Craig's birthday, by another of his devoted fans. (Craig fans are also known as the "Robot Skeleton Army", or "RSA" #RSA on Twitter). I even wrote to the show because I just wanted to let Craig know how much I appreciate what he does, what a difference he's made in my life (& so many others, I've come to learn), & that somewhere out there, there's a cancer patient who "stays up late" to get her daily dose of #Craigy - induced laughter.

And I still do. And now I get to see him LIVE pretty soon. Some other RSA have been SO lucky to have had the opportunity to actually MEET him. OMG. THAT would just be awesome. To be able to shake his hand & thank him personally for....for being him, I guess. But, alas, I do not have any VIP pass, or meet n greet creds. SO. If you're reading this, & you have pull with CBS, or Craig, or LLS.....This RSA "ain't too proud to beg." LOL. Seriously, not sure I could even speak if I got to meet him. So it's probably just as well. Cause I'd probably just stand there. Speechless. And teary.

Or faint. Yep. *thud!*

So there it is. The Confessions of a Fourty-Something Fan Girl.

*Don't you judge me!* ;)

LOL!

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That....

2011-04-09T16:58:00.002-05:00

So, yeah. I'm comin outta the closet! #NotLikeThat! LOL! Comin outta the "cancer closet" on my Facebook. Yeah, I had posted a Note on there where I directed folks to the CarePage (& now this blog) for all the cancer convo. Keep Facebook a "happy place". Well, now that I'm almost 2 years out from the cancer road through Hell, I figured, why NOT share with my Facebook friends? And Twitter friends. If I'm willing to blog all this out to the world & have total strangers read about it (*waves at faithful readers in the UK*), then why would I not be open about it with people I actually KNOW? Ya know? So I went ahead & shared my mohawk pics on there, & made public some photos from my 1st chemo.

I mean, why NOT be one of those "loud & proud" survivors?! Having had cancer is a PART of who I am now. The new & improved LunaTechChick. =)

So yeah, I'm officially out of the closet. Not that there's anything wrong with that. ;)

You Ought To Be In Pictures......

2011-03-30T18:53:00.001-05:00

Soooooo, I survived the sonogram. Yeah, I was very nervous. But my ob/gyn doc, Dr D, who knows me so well...(inside & out! Er..sorry! LOL!), made sure to say right away that the uterus looked good. The technician followed that up with "REALLY good" ..she went on to say it & the ovaries look "better than most Tamoxifen takers." YAY me! And apparently he can tell from lookin at the sono that I'm NOT in menopause. I had suspected Tamoxifen had sent me right into menopause, but he said he can tell by lookin at the ovaries that I SO am not. I just have a few symptoms that mimic it because of how it blocks the affects of the estrogen.

Anyway, the sono was quite uncomfortable, but not terrible. And took a few minutes. And apparently these parts ain't exactly located where *I* thought they were. And she took a bunch of pictures from all different angles of meh parts. All this rootin around with that wand was about on my last nerve. Another minute of that shit & I was bout to be all like, ok....you oughta have enough pictures by now! UGH!

But they said my uterine lining was quite nice & thin...which is good. And we'll do it again in September. Dr D did say this: so long as I continue to feel & experience the same ol same ol, then I can expect the next sono to be same ol same ol. So it appears that the Tamoxifen & uterus are gettin along just fine so far.

Next up: Labs tomorrow for Dr F....still watchin that stupid parathyroid hormone bs. (I sort of forgot about this one!) And still tryin to get back into my cardio. Need to just DO IT right away when I get home NO MATTER WHAT! Which didn't happen today...

Better luck tomorrow.

Tuesday Morning......

2011-03-27T17:52:00.000-05:00

"Tuuuuesday Moooorniiiing........pleeeeease be gone, I'm tired of yoooou......."

And it's not even here yet. Yeah. That lovely pelvic sonogram, AKA the vag-sono (sorry, TMI) is this Tuesday Morning. And then we'll know if Tamoxifen is causing me any issues with the uterus or ovaries. Or if I just plain ol have uterus &/or ovary issues not related to Tamoxifen. Suffice it to say that if there are issues with my uterus or ovaries, we'll know it. Tuesday Morning.

I have no reason to believe that I will have any issues at all, as I don't have any of the "typical" symptoms of the thickening of the uterine lining...excessive bleeding being the main one. I see no bleeding anymore. Ever. But I'm also told that this could also mean a thickened lining, as it's not shedding & comin on down. But again, typically, if you have the thickening, you have the bleeding. And lots of it.

And when this appointment is over, I get a break from medical crap for about a month. So long as all goes well Tuesday Morning.

Will letcha know.

The Beauty, The Splendor, The Wonder...

2011-03-20T21:13:00.001-05:00

Of my HAAAIIIRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, well, dunno so much about "the beauty", but it does now appear to be lookin more like REAL hair.

These are March 2011, right at 15 months out from the last chemo, round brushed & flat ironed.

I can see that I'm getting very close to needing to get a real "hairdo" cut done. And I was lamenting it's awkward phase & the curly biz, & a lady in my office was all like, "why not just embrace the curl?" So I tried it out. The result - Chemo-Fro.

Sooooooo, I'm trying to re-train my hair to lay flat by round brushing & doing the occasional flat iron thing.

And last night was the "Super Moon" Full Moon. Was supposed to appear bigger & brighter in the sky than it has in the last 20 years. We checked it out. Was awesome

Also, I've had to delete some photos from the Gallery over at my CarePage. Apparently there's a limit to what you can share on CarePages. Which also is a good indication that the updates there will soon come to an end. But not so much just because of the photo limit there, but the fact that I'm approaching that all important 2 Year Mark....According to the Always Fabulous Dr V, that 2 year countdown begins after the last cancer removing surgery. And for me, that will be in July. YAY!!!

Had a very nice visit with him this week. And I managed to get through it without turning into a complete twittering idiot, which has been the norm for me. LOL!

So, with the CarePage ending, you will still be able to follow what's up with us & the quest back to long hair here. I hope you'll subscribe for updates by puttin your email address in the box at the top right of the page. You won't get a bunch of spam or junk mail...promise. Only an email when I do a blog. That's it.

So anyway, one more doctor visit to wrap up this latest flurry of medical stuff. The ominous pelvic sonogram, to make sure Tamoxifen & my uterus are gettin along. Here's hopin.

I'll just continue to distract myself with figurin out stuff to do with my HAIR.

Just Another Mammo Monday...

2011-03-14T21:56:00.000-05:00

I know, I know....the depths of my corniness knows no bounds! LOL! But yeah, got the all clear on the mammo today. Today's mammo was done on the gimpy boobie only this time. I'm told that so long as things continue to go well (& they better!), then 1 or 2 more 6 month mammos & then I can go to annual diagnostic mammos!

Japan remains in the news. So tragic what's happened/happening over there. Earthquake, tsunami & now a nuclear crisis. They remain in my thoughts.

Kinda puts things in perspective.

Relay For Life 2011

2011-03-12T18:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm doin the Relay For Life thing again this year. If you'd like to sponsor me with a donation, PLEASE do so here:

My Relay For Life Website

Here's a pic from last year's Relay 2010.

Dang that's some short hair! LOL!

Doo-Dah-Dippety

2011-03-10T20:00:00.001-06:00

Good lord! I can't get this stupid shit outta my head. Ever since I saw this commercial several weeks ago...

Which is VERY unfortunate, since I totally hate this style of music. If you can even call it music.

Doo-Dah-Dippety

Ugh.

Pullin Through...

2011-03-07T18:32:00.002-06:00

Ok, two things....

One: My next mammogram is scheduled for next week. Tryin not to be nervous this time. Blood work looked good last month, so all should be well. Right?

Two: I can now pull the back of my hair through the back of a ball cap. But still too curly to get a 'do cut, so we'll just keep growin.

Will post after the mammo. Thanks for checkin on us.

xx

Dear Tamoxifen,

2011-02-27T19:20:00.002-06:00

You are destroying my fingernails. Please stop it.

Thank you.

~LTC

Pushin My Buttons...

2011-02-20T16:41:00.000-06:00

Yep, if it has a button to push, apparently I'll break it. Started with the button on my electric toothbrush. Doesn't always work anymore. And it's not recommended to take the thing out of yer mouth while it's spinning. Unless you wanna clean up the far flung toothpaste & spit & shit.

Next was the trackball on my BlackBerry. You gotta push it to "click" on stuff. Yeah, it no pushy no more. =(

And finally, the button to turn the alarm on/off on our alarm clock. Stuck in the ON position. Untill I stabbed it with something to try to pop it out. Now it works, but makes such LOUD clickety click sounds. Ugh!

*Shakes fist at push button things*

Better keep that "That Was Easy" button away from me!

*End Rant*

Two Things...

2011-02-19T08:25:00.001-06:00

Saw this on the Grammys...thought it was pretty funny.

And then there's this...the REAL version! LOL!

I've never been a fan of this kind of music, but this just makes me laugh. LOL!

Wow!!!

2011-02-15T23:50:00.000-06:00

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2011/02/14/cancer-vaccine-being-tested-in-dallas/

Wow!!!

2 Down....

2011-02-14T13:59:00.002-06:00

And 2 to go. That appointment with Dr W sure caused a bit of a freak out. What doesn't with me, right? So anyway, I get there, hubs meets me there. And the blood is drawn & we're waiting in the exam room. Ususally Dr W comes in after about 10 - 15 minutes. You know how you just know the doc is about to come in the room, cause you hear him pull your chart out of the thingy by the door? Well, I heard him, or somebody, pull the chart. But then he didn't come in. And he didn't come in & didn't come in & didn't come in. For about another 30 frickin minutes!! So, of course I'm all like, "OMG, OMG, OMG, something's wrong...something on the X-ray or the blood....OMG, OMG, OMG."

So then he FINALLY comes in & was apologetic. Apparently he was still diggin out from all the reschedules that happened over the last 2 weeks from the ice & snow, & he had been behind all day. And then at some point during that day there was some sort of altercation with a patient which involved police! (Wow, someone threw a bigger fit than I did last January 2010!) And this took up some time.

I was just like, WTF ever, HOW did the X-ray look?! He said that the X-ray looked good & that my blood work was "beautiful". I love havin "beautiful" blood work.

So, armed with this info, I will be a bit more at ease at the next test, which is the mammogram. But possibly not so at east at the one that follows that - the pelvic sonogram. Hopefully Tamoxifen is gettin along with my uterus just fine & not causing any thickening of the lining.

And THEN after all that, I get to go back to the Endocrinologist's, Dr F, for MORE blood work. He says (& Dr W agrees) we gotta get to the bottom of what's causing the Parathyroid Hormone issues. Jeez. More labs. More $$. More gettin poked at.

BUT, having the good news about the chest X-ray has pretty much kept me smilin. :)

As Promised....

2011-02-09T19:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, so as promised, here are some Hair Regrowth After Chemo pics.

I took these yesterday. Yes, that's my lovely compression sleeve on my left arm. Chemo curl seems to be hangin in.

Today, after having lunch, I looked out the back door & saw this little bird had found him some lunchie munchies on our back porch. Seems an earthworm got caught in the freeze & when the sun came out & thawed stuff, this little bird scored!

In the first pic, the bird has just discovered the worm. After he enjoyed it, he just kinda sat there for a few minutes, enjoyin the sun, I guess. That's the second pic. I dunno why I felt like gettin pics of this. And this little bird wasn't the only one glad to see some sunshine today. Looks like the roads are gonna be fine tomorrow, so off to Dr W's I go!

Wish me luck!

Testing, Testing, 1 - 2 - 3....

2011-02-09T10:55:00.003-06:00

And so it begins. Again. Not just talkin about stupid ass deep freeze wintery weather either. Which we're havin...again....it's 18 degrees outside & looks like a blizzard! And I'm sick of it. Enough already! GAWD!!! No, what I'm mostly talkin about is the flurry of tests/labs/doctor's visits. Seems like somethin's gonna be looked at/scanned/poked every couple of weeks from now through March. Yay me! LOL! But a close watch on stuff is a good thing. I know this.

Got my chest X-ray yesterday. First one since all this bullshit started. It went fast (surprisingly, since I was sent to the hospital to have it) & smooth enough. In & out in less than 30 minutes. And at 4:00 too! And that was great. But now, the appointment with the Oncologist, Dr W looms. Tomorrow. Weather permitting. I need it to permit. So I can know. Not just about the chest X-ray (pleasepleaseplease be normalnormalnormal), but also about the blood work. Why now am I so all weirded out about the labs, since I've had beautiful labs for over a year now? Well, up until recently, I really didn't know exactly what all this blood work tells a doc. I didn't know that Dr W could possibly detect some cancers with it. But now that I know this....yeah. I think I'm one of those people for whom ignorance truly is bliss. I usually stroll in there, usually go by myself. All chatty with the staff & the nurse. All grinnin like a goon (most times) when Dr W comes in. But that's probably not gonna be the case this time. Until he gives me the all clear on both tests. Then cue the goon-ness. (What IS it with me & the cancer doctors? LOL!) But until he's given me a thumbs up, I'll be a bit of a bundle of nerves. And this will not be a surprise to him.

And lately I've just gotten so paranoid of stuff. Like right before the bone scan....every little ache or pain...like the shoulder pain I'd been having. Just KNEW the scan was gonna be not good. But it turns out, I believe the shoulder pain was directly related to the port removal. Anyway...yeah, every little issue or bodily function....& I'm all like..."uh oh...that's not normal....or is it? Has that always been like that?" (TMI? Sorry...lol) I mean, paranoia will destroy ya...(Did I REALLY just say that stupid shit? *Sensing readers eyes rolling*) But I'm actually feelin much calmer since the X-ray is done. Dunno why...not like I expected anyone to tell me any results. Which they didn't. Cause they can't. And they were so rushed. You could tell they were still digging out of a back log of patients that probably rescheduled during the 4 days of frozen tundra we had last week.

Anyway. Yeah. Another snow day at home. Not supposed to get above freezing till Friday, but come close tomorrow. Close enough to see Dr W? I hope so. And I don't. But I do. I think. Eh! For now it's just me & hubby & our lovely space heater...hangin out. Gettin caught up on things around the house. And drippin faucets & all that lovely stuff.

And I can see I haven't posted a hair regrowth after chemo picture in awhile, so I'll be doin another post later with some 14 month pics of the afro-mullet.

And tomorrow I'll be back with what Dr W says, or if I got rescheduled.

What A Difference A Day Makes

2011-02-05T14:15:00.003-06:00

YAY! It's 47° outside! I can actually see my grass! Bye bye snow!! I mean, I couldn't believe it. Four inches of snow dumped on top of all that ice. Thankfully, my boss is awesome & understanding & had no desire for anyone to even attempt to come in to the office. And it's a good thing too, cause that highway was one of the worst with ice & accidents. But now we're above freezing. Never thought I'd love it being 47°, but I do...It's a heat wave!! And me without my short shorts! LOL! Seriously, what a difference a day makes. And sunshine. =)

Not gonna be puttin the space heater away just yet though, as I'm told another arctic front is expected mid week. Probably gonna have to take out a second mortgage to pay the damn electric bill!

Monday the flurry of medical tests & doctor visits begins. So yeah...don't love how spread out they all are too....got something gettin looked at every couple of weeks through March it appears. HOW to not feel nervous/upset/paranoid/scared? Some days, I'm Very confident this is all over. And other days, notsomuch. Guess what kinda day I'm havin today?

Thanks for checkin in on us.

Brrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-01T15:47:00.002-06:00

I am SO over this stupid weather. WHY does it have to get so damn cold?! Ice covering everything. It's fuckin 19 degrees! Supposed to be 10 degrees in the morning & get to a high of 22! TWENTY TWO?? For a high temp?! Hate this! I get that this to people in, say....North Dakota, this would be considered....brisk. Yeah. But I'm not in ND. Where I am, this ain't normal.

Soooooo, got all outside pipes & spigots covered, faucets drippin, cabinets with plumbing on outside walls open. Heat in the house just runs & runs....should I switch it over to the E-heat? What to do, what to do....Brrrrrrrr!

Dem Bones, Dem Bones Be NED Bones.....

2011-01-24T21:11:00.002-06:00

Yep. Two updates in the same hour. Just got the call. The bone scan was NORMAL!!! Dem bones, dem bones be NED bones! Awww yeaah!

Apparently Dr V checks in here from time to time. He's just awesome cool like that. =) And I turned right into a huge idiot on the phone. Huge. Idiot. Yep.

Monday, Monday...

2011-01-24T20:23:00.000-06:00

Monday is basically done. I did not hear from any doctors about the scan results. And it occurs to me....Dr W did not order the scan. It was ordered by Dr V. So results probably would not be shared with Dr W, unless it was shared with him by Dr V. Dr V always has you a follow up appointment scheduled for a few days after a test, to discuss results. Good or bad news. And mine is scheduled for Wednesday, first thing. Bright & early.

And that's why I think I didn't hear anything Friday or today & probably won't hear anything tomorrow either.

But I could be wrong. Guess I'm gonna have to wait & see. And we know how good I am at that, right?!

Dem Bones

2011-01-22T19:41:00.002-06:00

So I got a note in the mail from the Endocrinologist Dr F the other day. Said "Vitamin D is normal. Calcium is normal. Thyroid is normal." And I shoulda been satisfied with that...(SO wish I had been). But noooooo, I gotta make phone calls..."but why or what about the bone deterioration? The osteopenia in the hips??" And here we go with skeery skeery stuff. Again. Dr F calls me. Apparently, upon another look, my bloodwork shows a certain protein is suppressed. PTH Related Protein. Can be caused by calcium supplementation. Well, yeah, I do take a good calcium supplement. And upon discovering the osteopenia, I upped the dose, on Dr F's recommendation. So he asks me if I was taking a calcium supplement at the time of the bloodwork. Yep. Ahhh, that could be it. But then he said the two skeery words. "I want you to get a BONE SCAN." WTF???

Me: Ok, are you telling me that when this protein appears suppressed it's indicative of bone metastasis?

Dr F: Well yeah, but it could also be Calcuim

Me: Well, you know I'm taking 2 Citrical, so why the bone scan?

Dr F: Well, the level of suppression....it's just lower than I'm comfortable chalking up to calcium supplementation.

Me: FUCK!!!!

Yeah, I'm mildly freaked out.

All the docs agree. Get the bone scan to "rule that out." But the fabulous surgeon, Dr V, who knows me SO very well, knew I was totally freaked the fuck out. See, Dr F called him & Dr W both. All agree. But Dr V called me to say that I should not freak out. This is probably nothing. Just get the bone scan so "we all can put our minds at ease." Fine. I guess.

So, had the damned bone scan. And now we wait. I was hoping to get results same day, as Dr W was going to have his nurse inform the hospital that he needed the results immediately. And I even called his office & let his nurse know when the scan was done. But he hasn't called. And now we're into the weekend, so I'm guessing it will be Monday.

Monday, Monday...Nothing like waiting on a phone call to find out whether or not you have cancer. Again.

The tech that ran the scan "can't read the results" but winked & told me to "have a GREAT weekend."

Will let you know what we find out.

Round Five. REALLY????

2011-01-15T19:01:00.000-06:00

Eyelashes. Round FIVE. F I V E ! ! ! Really???

GAWD!

Less Hip. Me??

2011-01-08T16:32:00.000-06:00

Soooooooo, first week back in the insurance biz. It's been great to be back with my friends. Isn't it amazing that it's pretty much the exact same agents as when I was an agent there 10 years ago? And same administrative staff too. BUT, I can see that MUCH has changed technology-wise & I have MUCH to learn to be able to work on my own & be of some help to the agents. But I'll get there. Got my office set up & my license came in the mail on Thursday. So it's official. YAY me! :)

Next: I still have a mediport-shaped knot where the mediport used to be. So to look at me, it appears that I still have a port. Which I don't. But today it does seem to be quite a bit smaller, so maybe it'll finally flatten out soon. I called Dr V's office to inquire if it was normal to have a knot there. His response: "Normal as rain." Ok.

Had more blood work done this week...ordered by the fabulous endocrinologist, Dr F. It appears I have some slight bone deterioration in my hips & he calls it "Osteopenia". The report says the bone density here is "between 10 - 25% below normal. Fracture risk is moderate. Treatment is advised." Well shit! Anyway, the blood work Dr F ordered should tell him why there's the deterioration, although I'm pretty sure we're blamin it on chemo. But he wants to know for sure so we can get on top of this before it becomes a problem. Increase calcium & Vitamin D. I was normal on my D levels on my last CBC, & I was already increasing my Calcium. So, guess we'll wait & see what the tests show.

And January signals the annual starting over of the health insurance deductibles for treatments, tests, drugs...all of it. Maybe you remember my post last January ... Yeah, I didn't deal with it very well last year. Guess I should try to be more....ummmm....mature(?) when/if I find myself in a similar situation this year...

And right now I'm listening to hubby edit 4 year olds singing...& I think my uterus just imploded.....

Goodbye 2010, Happy New Year Lucky 2011

2011-01-02T17:15:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a great holiday season. We really enjoyed having a couple of weeks off. But now it's back to work, for us both. I'm starting my new insurance job tomorrow. A new year. A new beginning. I guess.

I'm glad to see 2010 go. It saw the end of lots of stuff for me. The end of radiation treatment. The end of Herceptin infusions. The end of "active treatment". The end of wearing wigs & do-rags on my head daily. And I said goodbye to my "Little Alien Buddy" mediport. And yes, I've taken it out of my purse & put it away.

They say that the number 11 is lucky. Lucky Number 11. I hope that's the case for me in 2011. I try not to look too far ahead into the future. Cause it kinda makes me have a bit of a freak out. I have another flurry of medical appointments spread out between February & March. And yeah, when I think about them, I feel just sick to my stomach. WHEN will I feel totally confident that all will be well?? I mean, some days, I'm totally confident. But the day of the chest Xray....probably not so much.

Ok, so really don't have much to say, just kinda wanted to say Happy New Year & just fill y'all in on what's on my mind.

And to also wonder....anybody even readin this stuff?

Hello Jager! Like my fake ponytail?

Hope. Dream. Believe.

2010-12-26T17:29:00.000-06:00

I think this is my favorite gift from my husband this year.

'Nuff said.

Happy Holidays 2010

2010-12-23T09:49:00.000-06:00

Sooooooo, hope everyone has a great holiday season. We LOVE that we have 2 whole weeks off. And another thing I love, my very favorite decoration EVER! This awesome little Gingerbread House thing. Thought I'd share it with y'all.

Isn't that just AWESOME! Happy Holidays from us to you!

PASS

2010-12-20T14:50:00.000-06:00

I PASSED MY STATE EXAM!!!! Whew! So it's back to insurance work for me in January. So relieved to have that behind me. YAY YAY YAY!!!

Electronic Santa (Target)

2010-12-17T22:59:00.001-06:00

Dunno why I love this, but I do. Must be the nutcrackers!

Chemo Brain?

2010-12-17T13:23:00.001-06:00

I guess it's chemo brain. But I know over the past several days I've been all like "Ooooh, I'm SO gonna blog about this..." & then when I open the blog to post, I can't EVEN remember wtf I wanted to blog about. So anyway....I guess I'll just say that I'm very happy today is the last work day of 2010. We always enjoy having a nice 2 week break. I remember saying goodbye to the year last year at this time. And ready to be done with 2010. It was some better than 2009, in that, a lot of not fun stuff came to an end this year. So yeah, glad to be wavin buh-bye to 2010. Lookin forward to 2011 being the 1st year to NOT be all about cancer. (Even though there will still be extra close watchin for it...but still...) We'll say 2011 will be the year of hair growin! :)

Will be takin my insurance exam on Monday...wish me luck. If I pass (I better) I get to go back to work right after the 1st of the year. Very much lookin forward to that. I've missed those folks. Can't believe it's been 10 years since I was an agent there.

Eff Cancer!

2010-12-17T09:01:00.000-06:00

Learned of the passing of a friend this week. I was very shocked to learn she had passed away, as last I heard, she was winning against her cancer. And I was so sad upon learning about it. She was very caring & encouraging to me when she learned about my bc. And to learn that now she's gone just really shook me, because it really wasn't all that long ago that she was exactly where I am today....gettin all congratulated on being cancer free & "gettin on with the rest of your life..." So yeah, messed me up a bit.

It was just so fast. She was a beautiful, smart, awesome lady. She is SO missed by SO many. She was only 52 I think.

So yeah. Fuck cancer. REALLY sick of it. Really.

Mmmm'Kay....

2010-12-12T16:23:00.000-06:00

Heard an ice cream truck go through the neighborhood a bit ago. It was 45° outside at the time. I was all like, WTF?!!

What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been

2010-12-09T23:14:00.001-06:00

Now hear this: The mediport is out. I repeat: The mediport it O U T!!! And I have it in a ziplock baggie in my purse. HA! Some of O's students wanted to see it, & I just wanted it. Removing the port is, to me, symbolic of The End...all will be well.

Anyway, backin up a bit. Mediport removal was scheduled for Tuesday, December 7. And I just felt the need to express my appreciation to my awesome surgeon, Dr V, in some way. So when I saw the pink poinsettia at the store, I thought, how perfect! So I wrote a little Thank You note & put it in the plant & brought it to give to Dr V.

And we got there & Dr V got right down to business. Didn't even give me a chance to start the whole freak out - panic - cryfest I thought would happen. Yeah, I was a bit nervous waiting for him to come in, but, he came in, gave me a gown, & then when he came back, it was ON....or...out. He numbed up the area & then just got to work. And O & Dr V & I were all chitty chattin away while he worked. And yes, he says it would be expected to see a touch of lymphedma with that many lymph nodes removed. He said he's seen it with 1 node removed. So, good thing I got my sleeve & learned the "self massage" treatment. #notlikethat

And about 15 minutes after Dr V began, we were leavin with my "Little Alien Buddy" in my purse. Of course I'd want to keep it. I kind of think of it as my "shield" in this battle I've been through. So I have it. (I also still have the irrigation syringe from my wisdom tooth removal, so, yeah, I'm just weird I guess!)

Say hallo to mah lil' friend!

So, that's it. The End. "End of treatment" So, X-rays in February & every so often...& 4 3/4 years of Tamoxifen to go. What a long, strange trip it's been! Thanks to my awesome medical team, looks like I get to just keep truckin on.

This Is A Test

2010-12-04T12:50:00.000-06:00

This is a test. This is only a test. This is a test of the Email Subscription Blog System. Had this been an actual blog post, it would remain here on the blog & you could read it again & again, but because this is only a test, it will probably be deleted at the conclusion of the test.

We now return you to your day, already in progress.

Thank you.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm........

2010-12-04T08:52:00.000-06:00

Well, I recently learned that there have been some studies that show paraffin scented candles could release cancer causing emissions. Hmmmm...... Those who know me & have been inside my home know that for YEARS, I'd have several, like 6 - 8 of those awesome smelling, large jar type candles burning, ALL - OF - THE - TIME. Hmmmm..... And yes, in an UNventilated area, as I wanted the house to have a nice, detectable fragrance from the (expensive btw) candles. Hmmmm....

Here's an article about it.

Hmmmm......

So I ask Dr W about it. His response was something along the lines of this: "Well, paraffin is essentially a plastic, & breathing in burning plastic is probably not a good idea." Hmmm......

So yeah...another thing we can add to the ever growing list of things that can cause cancer. Yes, just being alive apparently causes cancer. I realize I'm not ever going to be able to avoid all carcinogens. But DAMN! I love those candles. O does too. But do I wanna burn them anymore? Nope. Now I need to research about the fragrance used in reed diffusers. I think I already know the answer. Hmmm....

So, what to do, hmmmm? I'm thinkin, Essential Oils, & EO scented beeswax or soybean candles. And I'll let ya know what I find out about all this.

Lymphedema Anyone?

2010-12-02T09:01:00.000-06:00

Yeah. So, I noticed some swelling in my upper arm. And it felt funny. Well, it's been feeling funny ever since surgery, but over the weekend it felt especially funny. So I'm thinkin, "Great. A year & a half out of surgery & here we go with lymphedema?" Ugh. So, I get an appointment with the oncologist to take a look & see if it really is, or, maybe my arm has looked this way & I'm just now paying attention to it? But I didn't see the oncologist. His nurse says he doesn't diagnose/treat lymphedema. Refers me to a "Lymphedema Center". It's about an hour away from me. So I get there & get told "We're not 'allowed' to 'officially diagnose' lymphedema." Great. So they did educate me on what it is, what to watch for, how to treat it & measured me for a compression sleeve. Then she did a massage technique & showed me how to do it too, so I can move fluid out of that arm. Picked up the sleeve. I wear it during my elliptical workout & when doing strenuous activity. And was advised to wear it if I fly on an airplane.

I'm not 100% sure it's lymphedema. Soooooo, when I see the surgeon, Dr V on Tuesday, plan to have him take a good look. Surely the surgeon who removed the damn lymph nodes would be "allowed" to "officially diagnose" lymphedema. Or officially declare this the "new normal" & NOT lymphedema. I'm hoping for the latter.

Hair regrowth: Here we are at 11 days shy of a year out from last chemo, December 1, 2010. From the front, I'm starting to look more like "me"....when I would pull my hair back into a ponytail. Just gotta regrow that ponytail back long. Right now it's a nubby tail. And I'll like it better when I can wear it higher up on my head like I did before. But anyway, it's nice to be lookin & feelin more & more like myself. Yep.

My studying for the insurance exam got put on hold a bit, (came down with my annual sinus infection & felt like shit for a few days, then it was Thanksgiving, then the lymphedema thing...ugh) but I'm putting that back on a fast track. I need to get that exam scheduled. ASAP. Very excited to get to go back to work with my insurance friends.

Next up: Mediport removal in T-5 days.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T10:04:00.000-06:00

One year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was bald. This year I am not. One of many things I am thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Squash Anxiety

2010-11-23T23:14:00.001-06:00

Well I didn't call the surgeon. December 7 will be here soon enough. Two weeks goes by quickly around here. Gettin all ready for the big Thanksgiving dinner. Tomorrow is pies & prep.

No More Squash Anxiety

I Think I Figured It Out

2010-11-21T18:12:00.000-06:00

Why the mediport wouldn't register for the nurse. It does appear that it has shifted a bit...like it's trying to turn on it's side. This would probably explain the mild soreness I've been feeling below my shoulder for the last several days. And of course, me being me....yeah, I'm a bit freaked out about it. Maybe I should see if Dr V can go ahead & take it out....gonna call in the morning. Yep.

Oh Em Gee! Didn't See THAT Comin!

2010-11-20T10:31:00.001-06:00

Soooooooooo yeah. I had my 3 month visit with my Oncologist, Dr W, on Thursday. But first it was time to do the 6 week port flush thing. For the 1st time ever since it's been with me, it decided to act up. Sure, saline was able to be flushed through it, but it did not give a "blood register" when the nurse pulled back on the syringe. She tried & tried. Pumped 3 things of saline through it. Even tilted the chair all the way back so that I was basically standing on my head. Still nuttin. Ok, so, me being me...yep. Cue major freakin out time. Even though all the nurses assured me that it was "fine" & "sometimes they just act up" & "it flushed fine, so it's fine" & "sometimes they just move around a bit".... Not mine, I'm tellin ya. Mine is stitched in FOUR places....all the way around it. Not the standard 2 stitches. Sooooooo anyway. No blood comin from the port today. So had to get stuck twice so they could run the blood work. Yay.

And thanks to all that drama, no, I wasn't a bit surprised that my blood pressure was kinda high. And I told that to Dr W when he came in the exam room. And then we chatted about this & that, & I was all nervously waiting for him to say the skeery "scan" word.

He did not order a scan. He doesn't do CT Scans for breast cancer. At least for my kind. He says that stuff that a CT Scan detects can be very vague & cause stress that could be avoided. Says he sees ladies that can only live their lives in 3 month increments...scan to scan. Elated at a clear scan, then totally freaked out the next time cause a 3mm spot showed up somewhere that no one is even sure what it is, just to find out it was just a spot. A nothin spot. So he opts for chest & abdomen X-rays. And CBC blood work. And mammograms. And me feelin the boobies. So then he was all like, yeah, "I think the port can come out in February, then get your X-ray & I'll see ya back here.." I'm like, "yeah, lovely. Just in time for my stupid ass health insurance deductible to have started over." And then he goes..."You know what....go ahead & call Dr V & schedule to get the port removed in December. A Xmas gift to yourself." And I was like "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??!?!?!! Are you kidding me?" He was like, "No, go ahead." And I'm like, "Even without a scan or the X-ray first? You're THAT confident that everything's gonna be ok?!" He's like "Yep. Sure am. Now if you just INSIST on a Scan, I'll order it. But I don't usually do those for breast cancer. Plus don't want to be exposing you to more radiation."

And it was at that point that I started hoppin all around the exam room like some deranged kangaroo, & even grabbed Dr W & gave him a big ol squeeze. (He was probably sore the next morning...he's skinnier than I am.)

He went on to explain that getting it out 60 days early isn't going to make a difference in things, & to just be sure to get my X-ray 2 or 3 days before I see him again in February.

So OH EM GEE! I totally didn't see THAT comin. I showed up all a bundle of nerves, but left floatin on air.

So, I've got an appointment with the awesome surgeon, Dr V, for December 7, for the removal of my "little alien buddy". And then that's it. I'm done. D O N E. Well, except for the 5 years of Tamoxifen & 3 month oncologist visits with X-rays, 6 month follow ups with the surgeon. But "treatment wise"...Yeah, I'd call this done.

Questions of the Day

2010-11-18T08:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, so lunch with a dear friend....she recently had her own breast cancer scare. So glad for her that it turned out to be all fine. Then off to see the Oncologist, Dr W. I've been advised that he may request a CT Scan & that I may very well be getting it immediately. Immediately upon drinkin some lovely barium. Yum. And I think I'm brewin my annual Thanksgiving sinus infection.

Questions on my mind at the moment? Will I actually get the scan today? How long before we know the results. Will a sinus infection show up on the scan & scare the bejeebus outta everyone? And, should you refrigerate an uncut pomegranate?

I'm Tryin...

2010-11-16T17:25:00.000-06:00

I have a meeting with my Oncologist, Dr W, in a couple of days. He's probably gonna order a scan. IF he does, it will be the first scan since the pre-chemo, post-surgery scans. And I'm very nervous about it. I'm tryin not to worry or be nervous. But at this point in things, when you've had the surgeries, done the chemo, finished the radiation, finished the Herceptin, & you're basically DONE (except for 5 years of Tamoxifen)...I think it's normal to feel nervous. I think I'll always feel nervous & stuff about scans for the rest of my life.

Anyway...I haven't even had the appointment yet & I'm already being a fuckin weirdo. Can't help it.

Posted Nov 10, 2010 Makin a Move...& More Hair Yadda-Yadda

2010-11-14T20:35:00.001-06:00

Makin a Move...& More Hair Yadda-Yadda

Posted Nov 10, 2010 9:03pm

Ok, so several things to chat about right quick. First...saw the surgeon, the awesome Dr V, last week. Says it appears I'm doin great. Boobies feel good. =) YAY! Next up, Oncologist visit. Dr V suspects that a scan will be ordered. And it sounded to me like, if the scan is clear (please please please have a clear scan), then he'll be lookin to take out the port. But Dr W wanted it stayin for 6 months...which puts removal in February. Wonder how many clear scans I gotta have to get the port out. Hmmmm. Guess we'll find out.

And we had a pretty fun Halloween. We handed out tons of candy. Plus I wore my new hair. It's a fun half wig that goes on like a headband. So you see my bangs, and the front is MY hair, and from the headband back is the half wig. I think I love it.

Also still lovin my hat wig. I wear it a bunch too.

Next. I wish some people would be more careful and not just blurt out an assumption. So yeah, I was shoppin with my friend and we went into this boutique we go in to all the time. Saw an employee there that I haven't seen in a long time. She was all tryin to remember me. Went something like this:

Shop Girl: *shakin her pointed index finger at me* "I know you...you come in here all the time..."
Me: "Yeah, you know me..."
Shop Girl: "Can't believe you chopped off all your hair!"
Me: *5 seconds of stunned silence*
Me: "No I didn't. Chemotherapy took it."
Shop Girl: *Gasps and grabs at her chest*

Yeah. Nice. Anyway, obviously not lovin the short hair. Still. But I CAN get a tiny nubby ponytail. And with my bangs and a headband, can sort of look like when I wore a ponytail...until I turn to the side or from the back.

Hair regrowth after chemo - Nov 6, 2010

Next: Not every-single-thing makes it into this CarePage blog. Not that I'm being dishonest, mind, but rather...selective in what all I share. With my family being so far away, sometimes it's best to chat on the phone about some things, so as to prevent someone reading something, and then worrying a bunch, when maybe should only worry a little, or not at all. Ya know? And also, I understand that people wanna say whatever they can to make me feel good/better. Even to the point of being overly-complimentary. And I LOVE and am SO blessed to have people around me who do honestly care about me and just want to make me feel good. BUT, that said: Yes. My hair is growing back. It's good hair. It's good to HAVE hair. Do I like how I look? No. And no amount of compliments or assurances that "if it would look that cute on me..." is gonna change that. Thus my new half wig, hat wig and soon to come fake ponytails and the possibility of extensions in the future. =)

*oops...sorry...hope I don't sound too bitchy there*

Yeah, so this post turned in to a bit of a rant-novel. Sorry. I'm hormonal. I take Tamoxifen. (Promise my next Update will be one of more substance....you know, more important stuff about scans and the like. Occurs to me y'all are probably SICK to death of me lamenting my hair issues, huh......)

Lastly, I'm in the process of moving this CarePage over to my Blogger site. It used to be about my Online store, but is transitioning to mirror this CarePage. Seems some people are put off by having to have a membership to read a CarePage, and I have recently had some people ask if I had a "regular" blog. Well, yes I do, and my CarePage is in the process of makin the move to it at http://lunatechchick.blogspot.com/. Hope to see you all over there. I can be a bit more "myself" there, as CarePage is a bit restrictive in what you can do. Posts on my Blogger site might be a bit more...ummm....descriptive? LOL! ;)

Ok...that's it for now. As always, I do so appreciate your comments, thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Hubby and I both do. It means so much.

xx

Posted Oct 17, 2010 For the Times, They Are A-Changin...

2010-11-14T20:25:00.002-06:00

For the Times, They Are A-Changin...

Posted Oct 17, 2010 9:22pm

Yikes, I haven't posted an update in a long time. Guess that means these be different times, bein all done with treatment and all!

Sooooooooo.....when I wake up in the mornin & look in the mirror, I see Bob Dylan lookin back at me. Yep, my bedhead looks like Bob Dylan's hairdo....or Un-do. AND, at night, when I remove the headband that holds my hair back so I can wash my face, I get Kramer hair. *Serenity Now!* I'm still stuck in the "Headband Phase", cause I don't think I prefer how it looks flat ironed.

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - Headband Phase, Oct 13, 2010

I see that pic and hear the jingle "Activiaaaaaaaaaa". Ugh. Yeah, kinda like a cross between Jaimie Lee Curtis & Liza Minnelli.

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - Activiaaaaaaaaaaa!

And if I don't do anything at all to it, it's just awful. Wavy over here, curly over there, straight and flat on top....But at least it is growin. I'm just SO impatient with the speed of growth. Seriously considerin extensions when I have enough hair to pull it off.

Anywaaaaaaaay, nothin much really to report. Went in for the port flush. Sat down, port accessed, flushed, needle removed, bandaged & I was outta there. It's weird only goin in every 6 weeks. Feels like I'm all done...and I basically am done. Just takin Tamoxifen. Very little side effects so far. I've heard that possibly means that I'm not metabolizing the drug & therefor not gettin benefit from it. Dr W suggests staying on it, as the jury is still out on if that is even the case for "non-metabolizin" people. So I'll continue takin it as long as I don't get any of the bad or dangerous side effects. Kinda makes me feel more confident, that I'm still "in treatment" while takin it. Can't get bc again while on it, right?

Oh, I changed PCPs & saw my new doc. He did a CBC & metabolic panel (?) and tested Vitamin D levels and said it all looks good. Course I sorta knew that would be the case, as I've been having CBCs done every 3 - 6 weeks for over a year now.

Yes, October is bc awareness month. The shade of Pepto Bismol graces everything. I get that there are some good organizations that do raise money for research and stuff. But I think that the majority of pink ribbon stuff that you see, especially during October, is only aimed at separating you from your money. So check to see if the pink ribbon stuff you're buying contributes to a legitimate organization, and how much is contributed.

What else....attended a Pink Out pep rally at the high school last week. Saw a sign on the gym wall the kids made. Said "Save Second Base ;)" Cracked me up! The cheerleaders and A-Team gave us, the bc ladies, nice gifts.

And I'm studying to get my Property and Casualty Insurance license. Yeah, I knew I'd regret letting my Multi Line Agent's license expire! But looks like I'm goin back to work in the Insurance biz. And it will be great too cause I'm goin back to where I used to be an agent. Will be a very easy transition. And it's only gonna be part time for now. But first things first. Gotta pass the state exam. And I'm goin through this book and realizing how much I have forgotten. And hopin the chemo brain doesn't interfere with my ability to retain/learn stuff. Or pass the exam. And yeah, it's a struggle studyin this stuff. Insurance material is some dry readin, folks! I'd like to get this done quickly, but looks like it's gonna take a bit longer than I had anticipated.

So yeah, being able to go weeks and weeks without a doctor's appointment of some variety, plus lookin and feelin more and more like myself...yep....the times, they are a-changin.....
=)

Posted Sep 26, 2010 My Hairy Situation....

2010-11-14T17:15:00.001-06:00

My Hairy Situation....

Posted Sep 26, 2010 9:07pm

Ok, so just a quickie update...my hairy situation. Soooooooo......here we go round FOUR! FOUR with the eyelashes. Round 2 with the nose hair. You might remember back last winter a post that said "Don't know whatcha got, till it's gone...nose hair...just sayin...." Yeah. It does serve a purpose. You totally learn that purpose too when it's all gone. Eyebrows still not totally filled in, but gettin there. And I have been seein lots of other post chemo chicks flat ironing their hair to give the illusion that it's longer and to handle the damn chemo curl. So I pulled out my old friend Chi Flatiron, and tried it out. All I was successful in doing was burnin my fingers. Hair is still too short for my 1" Chi. So I picked up this teeny tiny super skinny flatiron at the beauty supply store. Success! Was weird to feel my hair feel smooth again, cause in it's current natural UNRULY state, it no feel so smooth. Anyway, I might do that from time to time. And no, I don't like it. (There's a shocker!)

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - Sept 21, 2010

Again, yes, I'm super very over the moon thankful to have a full head of hair again. SO glad it's not all gray. But I'm just never gonna love how I look with short hair. Not even gonna like it. Not even a little bit. Ever. See the gallery. It's like a super short Joan Jett 'do. ICK!!!!!

I mean, just...IIIIICCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~End Rant~

Ok, that is all.
;)

Posted Sep 18, 2010 Nuttin To See Here...

2010-11-14T17:10:00.003-06:00

Nuttin To See Here...

Posted Sep 18, 2010 7:05pm

Howdy. Just a quick update after the 6 month, both-boobies-and-a-mediport mammo. And it was all good. Clear. Nuttin to see here. So I was all like "WHEW!"

What else....I also got new hair. We did a video for my wig guy & he needed additional DVD copies, so we worked out some trade. We discounted the invoice if he'd throw in that ball cap wig. I think it looks more like "me" than my actual wigs. Never been much of a ball cap kinda girl, but I'll be wearing the #$%&! outta this one!

Oh, and I did finally start takin the Tamoxifen. Finally. On Wednesday. So far so good.
Then last night, I'm sleepily watchin The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, when it happened. He TOTALLY read meh Tweet!!! I was all like OH EM GEE! It was awesome. I love me some Craig Ferguson.

And the season is tryin to change. I love when fall approaches. You can just tell it's comin with the angle of the sun, the looooong afternoon shadows....gettin darker earlier & earlier...which I LOVE!!!

And that's about it. Nothin really to report other than my mammogram is clear & I now have hat hair...which is a good thing!
=)

New Hair

Posted Sep 7, 2010 Good To The Last Drop

2010-11-14T17:06:00.004-06:00

Good To The Last Drop

Posted Sep 7, 2010 12:44am

Sooooooooo on Thursday, August 26, I had my LAST Herceptin treatment. YAY! And the chemo nurses and staff all applauded & blew bubbles around me and gave me a certificate.


Last Herceptin Aug 26 2010

Mediport has to stay put for another 6 months. So now we do port flushes every 6 weeks & see Dr W in 3 months. Wow. This means I will not have to go to the center at all in the month of September. And 6 weeks between port pokes (was hopin last week was the last, but, no...). For a year, been gettin poked every 3 weeks. Things seem to slow down a bit while we watch and see...Shew...I'm not gonna know how to act with so much less medical crapola goin on!

Next up, mammogram on September 14. Both boobies this time. Gonna have to mammo around the port. This should be interesting.

Oh...Tamoxifen. To take it, or not to take it. Got my prescription all filled & ready. But haven't taken it yet. Still very nervous about it. But I figure, I'll give it a try. If the side effects are just too much, I'll just stop takin it. That's what Dr W says he tells patients. So within a week I'll start it. Promise.

And finally, a word about the hair. Got my first real haircut on Friday, in an attempt to get it to look less fuzzy. But it seems it's turning into an afro. Brillo pad. Too damn curly. And short. Short, short, short. And I'm seriously thinking about wearin the wigs again. I just don't love how I look with this super short hair. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy to see hair growing. But this is a hairdo I see on ladies much older than me. And I feel like it's just not ME. And I can't do anything with it. It just is what it is. Just not likin how I look...I like it better than bird-head fer sure...but still missin my hair SO much. Hopin I can get extensions or something once it grows more...

Ok, so yeah...nothin really to report. Finished treatment. Flushes, mammos and follow ups. That's about it for now. Much less. Much better.
=)

Posted Aug 24, 2010 S'been A Long Time Since I Did An Update...

2010-11-14T16:59:00.001-06:00

S'been A Long Time Since I Did An Update...

Posted Aug 24, 2010 4:24pm

"S'been A Long Time Since I Did An Update..duhnuuuh, duhnuuuuh..." LOL! Yeah, classic rock and Led Zeppelin fans will be singin "Rock and Roll" all day now! HA! Yeah, it has been awhile. I didn't do an update on the most recent Herceptin, cause there really wasn't anything to report. I sat and watched bags drip. Thrill a minute, I tells ya. BUT, then we got super busy with school getting ready to start...(started yesterday)

It's actually been kind of a rough patch around here lately. See, we've been in some sort of a weird, merciless heatwave. I mean, 100F+ every-single-%#$@!!-day. MISERABLE! And then the downstairs A/C went out. Got it fixed the next day. Or so we thought. Then a week later, still 100+, breaks down again. OF COURSE it needed a part that had to be ordered. OF COURSE we learn this late on a Thursday afternoon. OF COURSE the part takes till the end of the day Friday to be delivered, causing us to have to spend one HOT weekend. But Monday came, part was installed...all's right in the air conditioned world inside our four walls! And so glad too cause yesterday we broke a record at 108F!! But today, there are some showers in the area and it's actually not terrible outside for a change.

The big news this week is...*drumroll*....Thursday, I'm scheduled to take my LAST HERCEPTIN treatment!!!!!! The LAST one! Last medi port poke! Last day to sit and drip! I'm very excited about that, but nervous too...because I betcha Dr W is gonna start talkin scans and stuff. So I guess I'd say I'm "cautiously excited". And no, I haven't decided, even still, if I will take the Tamoxifen. Guess I will wait & see what the retest of my stuff showed...IF he actually had the retesting done.

Also, I already scheduled my next 6 month mammo...And it just happens to land on the anniversary of the day I shaved my head last September. Dunno if that's a good "sign" or what. But anyway, yes, the end of "active treatment". And this last Herceptin falls on the day before the anniversary of my very first chemo. So the One Year Treatment Plan will be complete in less than 48 hours. YAY!!

So, what have we been up to the last several weeks? Finally got the classroom & studio pretty much set up and ready to go. But like with any new facility, there are still some bugs to get worked out. The new High School is huge and very nice.

Hair...It's at SUCH a weird stage. Would probably benefit from a trim, but I just can't seem to get time to get it done. Hope to be able to do that before too long.

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - Aug 2010

Ok, so, thanks for checkin on us. I'll let you know how Thursday goes, & what's next....betcha it's a scan of some sort.
xx

Posted Jul 25, 2010 A Year With NED & a Couple of Wet Muskrats

2010-11-14T16:53:00.001-06:00

A Year With NED & a Couple of Wet Muskrats

Posted Jul 25, 2010 11:43am

So here's a little "in between treatments" update. On Friday, July 23, I celebrated spending the last year with NED. No Evidence of Disease. It's the term the docs prefer these days, rather than saying "remission". I think they reserve use of that word till you've gone several years with NED. I dunno. Only Dr. L has used the word remission with me. So anyway, yeah, July 23 a year ago I had that second surgery to try to get that clear margin, and Dr. V did get it that time, so I just assume that to be my "c-free anniversary" date.

The day after the last update, where I showed that ridiculous "hairdo" my stylist did, I got to messin around with it and came up with something else.

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - July 2010

Still don't like it. But it's better that the orange peel on the cat's head look. Wish I could like the look of short hair on me, but I just do not like it.

And I also washed my 2 most worn wigs for the last time. Thought I'd share what that looks like with y'all too. I call them "2 wet muskrats".

Haven't yet put them away. I can still wear them, it's just so hot. But if we were to go out somewhere and I just want to look more like "ME", I might wear the long one. I dunno...maybe being paranoid again, but I just feel like I need to keep them accessible till the mediport is removed.

We went to our new classroom and did some cleaning and arranging of things. Our graduate & good friend G came up and helped out. Fun seeing him. He's off to college in the fall.

Ok, so yeah, nothin really to report. Hot, long, dog days of summer. And 2 Herceptins to go.
Thanks for checkin in.
xx

Posted Jul 17, 2010 Round 3. A Rant.

2010-11-14T16:46:00.000-06:00

Round 3. A Rant.

Posted Jul 17, 2010 12:17pm

Sooooooooo.....took my 3rd to the last Herceptin on Thursday. Nurse ran it in an hour again. One thing I'm noticing...I think when it runs in an hour, rather than 90 minutes, it causes me to feel SO tired after. The last 2 times I had it, I ended up takin loooong naps when I get home. Like 2 -3 hours. Then I feel all weird from sleepin through the middle of the afternoon and wakin up at 6pm. I dunno. I think I'm gonna ask that the next one, the next to the last one, run in 90 minutes & see. Cause all the others were 90 minutes and I didn't need a nap after. So yeah. Gonna give that a try.

Only 2 more. Then the scans begin I'm sure. And, I gotta say, I'm super nervous about it. I hate it. I wish I wasn't that way, but I just am. It seems like I was more confident right in the middle of treatment than I am now. Now I just try not to worry as the end of treatment nears. Nothin worse than waitin on test results. I mean, these scans will let us know if all of this worked, right? It HAS to have worked. Gah, I guess I'm just a paranoid person by nature. I dunno.

AND...here we go Round 3 with the eyelashes. They're thinning again. AGAIN. My left eye is very thin. Reminds me of how the lashes were during chemo. So, when everyone says they love my short hair (ugh!) cause it brings out my "great eyes" (not my words)...well, notsomuch these days. And the brows. OMG!!! I've got brow hairs growin where I don't want hair, and bald spots where I DO want brow hairs. What a *!@#% MESS! GAWD!

And finally, my hair-hair. Jeez. It's at this dreadful in-between stage where it's too long for pixie, too short for anything else. It's pretty much man hair. When a man desperately needs a haircut. In my opinion anyway. And I know many lovely ladies who wear very short hair & it looks great on them. I've just always had loooooooong hair, (except for that couple of years of the bob) so it just doesn't work for me. At all. And it's doing this stupid "chemo-curl" thing in the back. More curly on the right. So it's all jacked up in the back. I visited my stylist to see if she had some ideas. She really didn't. She cleaned up some areas around my ears and talked about how we'll have to keep trimmin up the back as the top grows down so it can eventually get to one length and finally begin to grow out. And she did this weird style thing, pushin it toward my face. Looks stupid to me. But then, it's all gonna look stupid to me for a long time. Reminds me of a funny cat picture I saw.

On a positive note...my nails have finally regained their strength, so they have finally grown to their normal length. So I did the French paint on them. I just do it myself. Not a big fan of manicures. Last update was toes, this time, fingers. LOL!

Posted Jun 26, 2010 Drip...Drip...Drip...

2010-11-14T10:52:00.000-06:00

Drip...Drip...Drip...

Posted Jun 26, 2010 3:41pm

I mean it's just SOOOO boring! But thankfully, it gets done in an hour. Once it gets started, that is. Yes, it was Herceptin week. The new chemo nurse runs it in an hour for me. Works great. My port is a bit sore and bruised this time. Usually doesn't bruise. But when the nurse accessed it, she was like, "ooooh, I need to push that in more" and had to push on it a 2nd time. So I'm guessin that's it. I think I also flinched when she poked it initially. I usually don't flinch...just curse under my breath. No, I don't use the numbing cream. I figure, it's just a quick second, every 3 weeks. I'll deal. Hubby came with me this time, since he doesn't have to go to school anymore. So that was cool.

But before the Herceptin was the meeting with the chemo oncologist, Dr. W. And he's still waiting for my answer about Tamoxifen. I discussed with him how I just felt it was very unlikely to have had a bc be ER-/PR "weakly positive" & HER2+. I think he's having it retested. And if it turns out that all of that is wrong, then I'll fer sure be takin the #@$! Tamoxifen. I reminded him that his initial plan for me was to do the year of Herceptin and be done. No further treatment needed. Cause really, Tamoxifen is mostly prescribed for those whose bc was Estrogen Receptor positive....which ain't me...unless the testing was read incorrectly. Eh! I dunno. We'll find out. So, doc scheduled my remaining Herceptins, and told me I need to have a decision by my last treatment.

LAST TREATMENT! OMG I'm so close to seeing the disco lights at the end of the tunnel! THREE treatments left! Last one will be on the day before the anniversary of my first chemo. August 26. Then things could get weird again...you know me....but trying not to even think about that stuff right now.

Summer is goin good so far. We're pretty close to being finished with the move into the new high school. Everything is over there, just gotta finish some set up stuff. But it is nice to not be on a particular schedule for awhile.

Tryin to eat healthier, less meat. Thought I'd try the vegetarian thing, but found that to be quite expensive...if I want to use meat replacement products anyway. Still can't find these fake buffalo wings that are supposed to just be tha bomb. Oh well...I'm at least limiting my meat intake.

Ok, so obviously not much to report. Here's a couple of pics. Guess you could call them my "day at the spa". You look up at the IV bag...drip...drip...drip....and try to figure out how much longer...

then you return to lookin straight ahead....I apparently look at my feet.

Thanks y'all for checkin in!
=)

Posted Jun 5, 2010 "Happy Birthday" Is A Victory Song

2010-11-14T10:43:00.002-06:00

"Happy Birthday" Is A Victory Song

Posted Jun 5, 2010 8:30pm

A couple of weeks ago, I took part (briefly anyway) in the Relay for Life. I didn't get to stay very long, as we had another shoot. (Duty calls! LOL!) So I figured, I've been through hell and back with this stupid stuff, I'm at least gonna get the **** T-shirt outta the deal! LOL!

Soooo, I'm 41 today. It's been a very fun day too. I got to see some of our students and VERY good friends graduate from high school, had a lovely steak lunch, did some fun girl stuff...and now, as I type, I'm enjoying some of my favorite Spicy Hot Cheese Popcorn. It's very great. And in honor of my birthday, I thought I'd share a picture from my Big 4-0 party last year. It's me, raising a toast to myself. Sure wish I still looked like that...But it is what it is. *GROW hair GROW!*

The Big 4-0. Yep, missin my hair hard core these days.

Also, I'm done with the wigs. Have been for a few weeks now. Which is great since it's been around 100 degrees the last few days. Hair is kinda doin a pixie thing. I don't like it, but am SO happy to see a full head of hair again. People tellin me how nice it looks and stuff. My stock answer: "Thank You. It's nice to have hair to hate." LOL!

Hair Regrowth After Chemo - June 2010

And I had Herceptin on Thursday. Went fine. Four more to go. Had our class banquet that night and it was the best one we've ever had. Lots of fun at that.

Last day of school was yesterday. We taped the graduation today. Was very emotional for hubby and me to see our Senior students graduate. And so far, it's been a pretty great birthday. And I'm bout to raise another one of those Jager toasts to myself, so it's about to get even better! LOLOLOL!

Still haven't heard from some docs regarding getting my tests redone to determine if that PR "weakly positive" is a false positive. I gotta say though, I'm really leaning toward not takin this Tamoxifen, unless the stuff is retested and comes back with some ER positive. So, I need to get back on the phone and lean on some docs I think. Will keep y'all posted on that.

So that's about it. School is out. Graduation is shot. Will be edited soon. Classroom is packed up and we're ready for the move to the new High School. THEN I'm gonna be all about having the summer off for fun stuff...Last summer wasn't so fun.

"Happy Birthday" is a Victory Song. Yep. I'd agree with that.

Posted May 19, 2010 Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

2010-11-14T10:38:00.000-06:00

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

Posted May 19, 2010 10:24am

Ok, so all this time, I've thought my bc was ER- & PR-. (& HER2+, but that's nothing to do with this post, but Thank You Herceptin!) Anyway, so going over stuff with my oncologist the other day and come to find out, I am ER Neg, but said my PR is "weakly positive" at 9%. BUT, HER2+ and the proliferative index at 81%. So yeah, Been doing Herceptin. (5 more to go! YAY!) Sooooooo, the radiation oncologist seems to think I need to be on Tamoxifen for 5 years. The chemo oncologist feels we've handled my bc with the Herceptin, since it was definitely more driven by the HER2. He said it was going to be my decision on whether or not to take the Tamoxifen.

Hmmmm....what to do, what to do....On the one hand, I'm thinkin, 9%....that's a pretty low number for PR+. Would I really benefit that much? Especially since Tamoxifen really only deals with estrogen...I think...And the side effects on that...OMG...And on the other hand, maybe go ahead & take it, more like an "insurance policy" so to speak...insurance against developing ER/PR+ something down the road? Again the side effects....blood clots, uterine cancer, endometrial cancer, weight gain (OH NO!), hair loss (OH HELL NO!! OMG), hot flashes...full on menopause...which I thought I was already in.

Doc said I could go ahead and start the Tamoxifen and see how I do. Quit taking it if I don't get along with it. I just dunno.

Another option I learned about is ovary suppression with shots...Lupron. And also another drug with that...Femara. No docs have mentioned this to me. Learned about it on a support group forum. But Lupron also has it's own side effects. Not hard core as serious as the Tamoxifen, but still...Plus I hear this is one helluva big needle too. GAH!

I'm also learning that ER- PR+ HER2+ makes up for less than 5% of bc. But of course, this is ME, right? And some think I should have the testing re-done, as there is a good chance this PR+ is a false positive. Ugh. And the nerves I get about retesting....well, just not gonna go there...
So...decisions, decisions...

Things crazier than ever with work. Thinkin that's a good thing right now.

Thanks for checkin on us.

Posted May 5, 2010 Not Much Doin...

2010-11-14T10:34:00.001-06:00

Not Much Doin...

Posted May 5, 2010 11:55pm

Well, medical-wise, there ain't much to report. Thus the lack of updates recently. Two weeks ago I had Herceptin. I showed up, they gave it, and I left. While I was there, I witnessed what happens when a person's mediport doesn't cooperate. Made me very thankful that MY "Little Alien Buddy" works perfectly. But those visits are pretty uneventful, so I didn't post afterwards. I mean, if I posed after every Herceptin at this point, they would all read like: "Had Herceptin. It was the same as last time." I'll take it again next Thursday...the 13th(?) I think. And I'm not scheduled for any additional tests or scans for awhile. I bet I have to get a MUGA done in June.

So yeah, seems like nuthin much goin on, but work-wise...craziness! And just gets crazier the closer we get to the end of school. All the banquets and our move to the new school. We've just been crazy busy, so it's a good thing that the medical stuff has chilled out a bit.

One thing I have been doin for fun is following Craig Ferguson on Twitter. Yes, finally did the stupid Twitter thing. You can see where to follow me at the top of this homepage, or just search me in Twitter. Anyway, been trying to get Craig Ferguson to read a tweet from me on his "check ze tweets" part of his show. But no luck yet. And so now I'm apparently addicted to Twitter, Craig Ferguson, and this has worsened my already sick BlackBerry addiction. So yeah, if you see me and I'm not workin, I'm probably head down, tappin madly away at my BlackBerry, typin stupid questions to @CraigyFerg on Twitter. I know. I'm sick with it.

Soooo, yeah, new pics in the gallery. The Hubs just got a nice new haircut. While we were gettin ready for work yesterday, it occurred to me, we have the same hairdo. Pretty much. LOL!

The Twins

Also, famous actor, Burton Gilliam visited our theater students, and we got to visit with him a bit and get a picture with him. Maybe you remember him from Blazing Saddles, Back to the Future III, Honeymoon in Vegas, Fletch, or maybe you remember his Pace Picante commercials. Anyway, he is a really nice guy. He complimented my toes. (Apparently he likes a French pedicure! LOL)

Ok, guess that's it for now. If anything earth shattering happens, I'll post about it.
Thanks for checkin in!

Posted Apr 11, 2010 Light At The End Of The Tunnel

2010-11-13T18:42:00.001-06:00

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Posted Apr 11, 2010 8:12pm

Hey y'all! So I survived that whole flurry of doctor visits. Over the last 2 weeks I saw my regular doctor - the wonderful Dr S, 2 Oncologists - Dr W & Dr L, my super ob/gyn - Dr D, had the echocardiogram at Dr A's office, FINALLY got that mammogram at a new & fabulous hospital in my area...and finally the follow up with my excellent surgeon - Dr V. Seven appointments. And I was very nervous about each one. Well, not so much the echo. Mostly just Dr D & the mammo.

So the mammo was scheduled about a week before the follow up with the surgeon. And we got there and I was just sooooo nervous. And this was only a mammo of the gimpy boobie. And the nice mammo lady took all kinds of views. And since this was a Diagnostic Mammo, you wait around for the doc to look at it and you learn the results right then and there. Seems like I sat in the little waiting area for ages before the mammo lady came back in and said those lovely words..."All Clear"! It's all good! I totally like slid outta the chair with a huge sigh of relief. (Upon re-readin my updates, I can see I already shared with y'all about this mammo....oh well...the chemo brain lingers! LOL!)

So armed with this info, I wasn't quite as nervous to visit the surgeon. Maybe a little, cause I knew he was gonna take a look at the "good", but "neglected" boobie. And he did check it and said it was fine. It will get mammo'd in 6 months.

So I saw Dr V and we chatted about things. He said he liked my hair. We discussed how I'm pretty much good. Just gotta finish my Herceptin with the mammograms every 6 months for 2 years. He said that a couple of months after the last Herceptin, after all the scans are done and are all clear, we will schedule to remove the mediport. I SO hope this will happen before the holidays. I won't see Dr V again until after the next mammogram in 6 months.

With all these medical appointments and all that's been going on with work and school, it just has been so crazy! I can't believe it's the middle of April already. And I'm SO happy that I have NO doctors to visit till my next dose of Herceptin next Thursday. Almost 2 whole weeks off from doctors!

Yesterday some friends took us out to a really nice sushi restaurant to celebrate hubby's birthday and my surviving all the medical stuff and gettin all good news. Lots of sushi in my life lately! LOL!

Raw Stuff. I don't eat this.

And the day before we got to tour the brand new high school we'll be in next year. It is SO huge. It's very, VERY nice.

Sooooooo, as the Earth is sproutin new green grass and leaves on the trees, so do I "come back to life" from this battle. Hair growin in, energy continues to return...yes we're in the home stretch. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
=)

Posted Apr 5, 2010 Three Down, One To Go

2010-11-13T18:36:00.000-06:00

Three Down, One To Go

Posted Apr 5, 2010 12:41pm

Three skeery appointments down, one to go. And then I can breathe. Well, this last upcoming appointment is a bit less skeery thanks to the outcome of the previous skeery appointment.
So yeah, finally got that follow up mammogram on the gimpy boobie. I tried not to be all freaked out about it, but I was totally freaked out about it! LOL! But the doc checked it out & said it's all good. So, thanks to that, I'm not as nervous bout seein the surgeon on Friday. Although I'm hopin that he shows some attention to the good and now neglected boobie. Gotta keep a check on that one too ya know! And after this visit with the excellent surgeon, Dr V, I think I should be good for medical stuff for awhile (I hope), and back to just doin the 3 week Herceptin things.

Did my Herceptin last Thursday. Went fine. Also saw both of the oncologists. Good visits.
All of these appointments just made for such a crazy couple of weeks. And hubby had a birthday over the weekend. We had a nice and fun day. Went to our favorite movie theater and saw Clash of the Titans in 3D, ate some sushi, and just generally enjoyed being together.

And I thought I was about ready to start just totally goin without the wigs, but no. Still gonna wear em to work at least. And when I wanna look like me, or as close to like me as I can with these wigs on. My friend thinks I have enough hair to go ahead and get a bit of a cut and shape to it, but I don't think so. Maybe in another month. Which sucks because it will soon be very warm here and that will make wig wearin super uncomfortable.

Ok, that's about all for now. Sure seems like I'm forgetting some stuff. Oh well. Thanks for readin! =)

Posted Mar 28, 2010 What A Difference A Year Makes.

2010-11-13T18:30:00.000-06:00

What A Difference A Year Makes.

Posted Mar 28, 2010 5:17pm

Ok, so I made it through week 1 of 2 stressful weeks. This past week I had to go see my ob/gyn, the fabulous Dr. D, for my annual checkup. Complete exam. First time since the diagnosis, and I don't mind sharing with you that I was just mildly freaked out about it. And also, thanks to having zero estrogen in the bod, the exam hurt a bit. Usually don't feel it...(apologies if this is TMI for y'all). So that totally sucked. He was all hands off the boobies though. Said he's now leavin that up to the team of docs who are checkin those nowadays, the likewise fabulous Dr. V, Dr. L, & Dr. W. Unless I just wanted him to feel em, he would just leave it to them. So I figured, eh, I'm seeing all those specialists pretty soon, so yeah, we'll just let them feel em. Besides, I'm kinda feelin em myself almost daily.

Day after Dr. D was the echocardiogram. Very nice cardiologist's office. The office of Dr. A. Never saw Dr. A personally, but her technician was very nice. So we go into the room to do the echo and the tech leaves so I can remove the top and put on the gown....Motley Crue was on his radio! I had to laugh. I wasn't really worried about this visit at all, what with my excellent MUGA scan report in December. No, I was mostly worried with the Dr. D appointment. And all seems to be well, so that's good. Ran through some fast food on the way home. Now y’all know I like to eat healthy, but sometimes (ok, most times) I WILL snag one or three of hubby’s fries. Especially when he gets cury fries. So I was really trippin out at the curly fry I grabbed. So much so that I just HAD to take a BlackBerry picture of it.

Next week's stress...Finally gettin that mammogram. Not sure why I'm a bit weirded out bout that, but can’t help it. I mean, with all the chemo, radiation plus boosts, I can’t imagine anything bein wrong with the boobie. So, really tryin to remind myself that I’ve had excellent treatment from excellent doctors, so all will be great. Day after the mammo, I get to see both of the oncologists, Dr. W and Dr. L, and then visit my chemo nurses for the next round of Herceptin. Three weeks is goin by faster & faster! Then week after, I visit my super awesome surgeon, Dr. V. Kinda nervous bout seein him these days too. I dunno. I think I just need to get a few “all clear”s behind me, and maybe I won’t be all freakin out.

So yeah, what a difference a year makes. Last year this time I was all makin plans to go home to Savannah to celebrate the Big 4-0. Lookin forward to school comin to an end so we could enjoy our first summer off as teachers. And so I’ve added some new pics! A Before and After...

Showin off meh hair,

…lots of changes over the last year, that’s fer sure!
Oh yeah, also last week, hubs and I celebrated our 9th Wedding Anniversary…once we remembered it! We both forgot! I guess that just shows that we’re just a teenie bit busy and have lots of stuff on our minds.

Me wishin hubs a Happy Anniversary w/ a phone pic!

AND I've taken to going out & about without headcover. But not ready for that at work yet. But I did wear the short 'do on Friday. Call it my "Soccer Mom" 'do! LOL! Gosh how butch lookin with the newly grown in hair. Maybe I should get some Birkenstocks & start flirtin with our waitresses! LOL!

Ok, thanks for reading and commenting and stuff. It really does help me get through this crap.
xx

LunaTechChick's Random Thoughts, Rants & Musings

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I Can See Clearly Now...

Life In The Fast Lane...

Tech Support

Some Musings On This New Year's Eve

All This Horror Business

All This HAIRY Business....OR...How Long Will It Take For My Hair To Grow Back After Chemo?

REALLY?! A Rant......

So Excuse Me Forgetting.....

Superstition Ain't The Way.......

Got Some 'Splainin To Do...

It's All About The Benjamins Baby...

The Dinner Drama Continues...

Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

She's Come Undone....

TGIF?

RIP Steve Jobs

Look What I Can Do!

We've Only Just Begun....

Ch-ch-ch Changes......

Keepin Y'all "Abreast"......

Milestone Mammo Mornin

I Forgot. And It's Awesome.

Another Hair Regrowth Update

Between Appointments & A Random Tip

Hair Regrowth Update

2 Years Today

Back To Life, Back To Reality....

Vacation - Part 5: A Fish Tale

Vacation - Part 4: Life's A Beach!

Vacation - Part 3: Things'll Be Great When You're DOWNTOWN......

Vacation - Part 2: Up On The Roof

Vacation - Part 1: I Just Ran.......

Lost Another....

Ooops! I Did It Again.....

Some Words Of Wisdom I've Learned Over The Years...

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back.

*Insert Witty Title Here*

Every Three Months On A Thursday....

It's A Great Day For America Everybody!

Hot & Cold

Ain't Too Proud To Beg (Confessions of a Fourty-Something Fan Girl)

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That....

You Ought To Be In Pictures......

Tuesday Morning......

The Beauty, The Splendor, The Wonder...

Of my HAAAIIIRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Just Another Mammo Monday...

Relay For Life 2011

Doo-Dah-Dippety

Pullin Through...

Dear Tamoxifen,

Pushin My Buttons...

Two Things...

Wow!!!

2 Down....

As Promised....

Testing, Testing, 1 - 2 - 3....

What A Difference A Day Makes

Brrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Dem Bones, Dem Bones Be NED Bones.....

Monday, Monday...

Dem Bones

Round Five. REALLY????

Less Hip. Me??

Goodbye 2010, Happy New Year Lucky 2011

Hope. Dream. Believe.

Happy Holidays 2010

PASS

Electronic Santa (Target)

Chemo Brain?

Eff Cancer!

Mmmm'Kay....

What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been

This Is A Test

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm........

Lymphedema Anyone?

Happy Thanksgiving

Insert Witty Title Here