O & I have decided that if we didn't need to eat, things would be much easier. Cause it seems like every damn time we work late, or want to eat out, SOMETHING makes it difficult. Or impossible. And we've just about decided that we just need to start videotapin our life, cause when we tell people how things happen to us, it really does sound like we're makin it up. We often say to each other, jeez, you'd just have to be with us to see all this shit happenin around us. (And our "Law of Attraction" where people just flock around us all the time continues too, but that's another post for another time.)
Ok, so after a meeting, we decide to eat out, cause I'm just not feelin like cookin. We decided to try that new Chinese restaurant that we didn't last time when we made the mistake of goin to that other place that forgot about us. I had always thought it was a Chinese buffet, although the building does look tiny for that. It's not. It's a walk up to the register & order & pay like you're at McDonald's kinda place.
So we walk in. And right away, O can tell he doesn't wanna eat there. It's fast food....I mean really fast food. Not awesome fast food like Panda Express (which we also love). And so O is like "Yeah...think I want something I'm gonna like better than this..." So we just leave without approachin the cash register to order. Then we noticed they have a Drive Thru. Wish I'd noticed that before gettin outta the car.
So then we decide, hey, let's try that new Mexican joint that opened up recently right in our little town. It always has lots of cars & people say it's good. Even got a great write up in our local magazine, which made me want to try it even more. So we're like "Yeah, let's do that! Then we'll be close to home & everything." So we go. And we walk in. And I think we realize why there's always tons of cars here. The BAR. But we figure we'll give it a shot. Even though it is a bit of a dive...but I've had some of the best food ever in dives....so....we order some Queso to go with the chips. Ok, we shoulda known by the salsa...which I suspect is just Pace from the jar. Now I got no problems with Pace, just kinda hope for fresh made salsa when I eat out. But we go ahead & order. O orders the Enchilada special - 1 cheese, 1 beef. I order the Fajita Steak Salad. I figure, if you got good fajita meat, then I'll try other stuff. OK...the queso....I'm not sure what the hell that was....it wasn't even the color of cheese...very light yellow like a Post It Note....& very thin & watery. Ok fine....& then the food comes out. I can tell just by lookin that I'm not gonna like this. But I taste it & was all like:
"Ummmmmm, I dunno what the fuck that is, but it is awful!!! How's the enchiladas?"
O: "I'm scared to try it."
Me: "REALLY....taste this fajita meat..."
O tastes & goes "What the hell? WAAAAAAY too salty!!"
So then O tries his refried beans, suspects they're 2 days old & from a can, & then he tasted the enchilada & ended up spittin that right back out & wavin our server down. And I told him "Yeah, I can't eat this. This is just terrible!"
Server comes over & says she'll get the owner for us. So then the owner comes over & Ollie asks her about the beans...I swear he turned into Gordon Ramsey! He's all like "These beans....they're from a can, yes?" LOL! And the owner goes, in her super thick Mexican accent "Oh no, those beans are made today my friend." Ok...we didn't ask you WHEN they were made....so yeah, she kinda busted herself right there. And I told her that fajita meat was terrible & super salty & she was just shakin her head & makin a face as if she was thinkin "You stupid gringos don't know good authentic Mexican food!" So O was like, "What do we need to do to just leave, cause we can't eat this..." She tells us we can just leave. And we do. FAST.
So by this time, once again, it's gotten later than we'd like, so we ended up with, yet again, another fast food dinner. That was the end of that attempt at dinner. After describin that fajita meat to some people, I've had more than 1 person tell me that it sounded like Menudo meat. Eeeeew!!!!!
Two days later, it happened again. Had a meeting run very late. Like we were walkin out of the office around 8:15pm. And here we go again..."What do you wanna eat?" It's the Million Dollar Damn Question I'm tellin ya.
O: "I kinda would like a steak."
Me: "Yeah, there's that *Steakhouse That Will Remain Unnamed* just off the highway on the way home."
O: "Alright! Wow, that was easy!"
And we go. And my 1st clue that I probably don't wanna eat here came when the hostess asked us if we had a smoking preference. Ummmm, you can still smoke in restaurants? Yikes! So she takes us over to a booth that is like, the closest table to the smoking section, but I'm hungry, & it's late, so I don't say anything. We order our food. Bread comes out. So far so good. Then the salads come out. I put the 1st bite in my mouth, & then it happened. O saw it a split second before I did. A fuckin ROACH is walkin right up to me...right there on the TABLE!!
ON. THE. FUCKING. TABLE!!! Salad comes flyin outta my mouth. And the roach then is walkin up the side of my drink. And O is like..."We. Are. Leaving! Get up!" Shew, I was miles ahead of him. We totally jumped up & ran outta there, brushin ourselves off to make sure we weren't takin anyone with us. I bet the server must have come back with the steaks & wondered what the hell, cause we totally went *POOF*. Ummmm, G'day *Steak Chain Restaurant*!
All the way home (cause neither of us could eat at this point) we were just "I canNOT believe that fuckin just happened!"
Today we have a meeting. And it's very close to one of our very favorite restaurants. And I SO hope it's still one of our favorites after tonight.
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