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Thursday, December 31, 2015

I Wasn't Born With Enough Middle Fingers....

Sept 2009
Fuck off fifteen. Yep, next to 2009, 2015 ranks right up there as one of the most shitastic years in my memory. 

I don't make New Year resolutions. Haven't for many years now. I'm not really sure what the hell happened this year, but nothing turned out to be what was expected. And maybe that's the problem. Expectations. So, no resolutions for me.

Yeah, our move to the east coast and back definitely was the big event of the year, and we are forever changed by it. Relationships are changed. I made a new friend. And I had something other than cancer to focus on for a change. 

The day after Christmas, we rode out the tornado outbreak here in Texas. Like, an EF3 tornado came within 2 miles of our house. And if you know me, you know I don't handle tornado warnings very well. It wasn't until I turned off the street from our neighborhood and saw with my own eyes, large, brick homes in rubble. Like piles of bricks and matchsticks, that I realized what a close call it was and how so very thankful I am to not be in that situation. So so sad that anyone has to deal with that and that there were some fatalities. And am motivated to help in any way we can. This is a close knit community, and people are coming together to help one another unlike anything I've ever seen before. It is soul warming.

Looking back at the year, I wish it had been as uneventful as last year. But I remain ever grateful that my health situation remains NED. This is my seventh New Year's Eve since diagnosis. And I really am thankful. I have a wonderful medical team of doctors that I credit with my being here to bitch about 2015 being not at all what I was expecting. Again, the problem of expectations.

So, 2015 has been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. But is any year ever perfect? Well, I didn't have to do any active treatment for breast cancer, so, in spite of it all, it was a good year. Any year I'm not actively dealing with cancer, I deem to be a good one. And, please don't come down on me for having gripes about feeling like I'm more than done with this year. I pretty much hate 2015 almost as much as 2009. Just because I've so far survived cancer, doesn't require me to be happy and giddy for the rest of my forever. 

Truly, it wasn't all bad. I did learn so many things. So many lessons. And the new Star Wars movie came out and we were even contracted to do a spoof video. So that was kind of awesome.


I'm sorry this post isn't all happy, flowery, uplifting hopefulness. I am more than ready to give the single finger salute to the end of 2015. The best part of 2015 is that it's almost over. And for that, I am super excited. 

But....

As every year, I want to thank you all for reading my rambles and musings. Though they were few this year. I thank you for your friendship. For caring about us.

Happy New Year! May 2016 be better to us all.

xx



10 comments:

Alicia Burris said...

Wishes for bigger and better times this coming year.. love ya

LunaTechChick said...

Yes! 2016 WILL be a good one for us all! Love ya back!

The Accidental Amazon said...

Holy crap! I think anyone who rides out a year-end tornado onslaught, and sees her neighbors' homes turned into brick piles can be forgiven for feeling a tad grumpy. Keep it real, girlfriend. NED is awesome. Here's to a better year. xoxo, Kathi

LunaTechChick said...

Thanks so much Kathi! Happy New Year! I wish for us to all enjoy all the good things in 2016. xx

Sandra Davis said...

Keep the faith my courageous daughter. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I'm praying for good health, peace and prosperity for us all. Love you,
Mom

Rebecca said...

Let it all out! I completely understand you. 2015 was a tough year for many of us. I am hoping 2016 brings more good news.

I am sorry about the tornado. I am glad there is a lot of support within your community. I remember the natural disasters my family and I experienced when I was growing up. I was naive and often enjoyed 'swimming' on the streets but many families lost their homes, which was devastating. None of us had much in the community to offer -- we were all poor -- but there were donations from all over the place. Please stay safe.

May this year pleasantly surprise you. xoxo

LunaTechChick said...

Hi Mom! Yes, we keep on keepin on. What else is there? We are hoping for the same for 2016. Love you too!

LunaTechChick said...

Hi Rebecca! Yeah, as younger people I don't think we realize what powerful storms can do. I used to love a good tornadic storm system, till one took out our fence in 2007, or the time our car was nearly swept off the road in a "100 year flood" - don't recall the year right off. Can't believe I made it to that age before it occured to me that, hey, these things can be tragic & even kill you. Now I'm one hot mess in bad weather.

May we all have a hood year with all the good things. Thanks so much for sharing with me. :)

Nancy's Point said...

I love your rambles. My favorite sentence in this whole post is this one: "Just because I've so far survived cancer, doesn't require me to be happy and giddy for the rest of my forever." I get so sick of the expectation put on cancer survivors... But you already know that. And gosh, having that tornado come so incredibly close to your house, that had to be so scary. No wonder you are glad to say goodbye to 2015 for that and the other reasons you mentioned. Wishing you all the best in the New Year. May 2016 be kind to us all. Looking forward to reading more 'rambles'!

LunaTechChick said...

Hi Nancy! Thanks so much for saying this. Yes, so tired of any time I complain about anything at all, being told, "well, it ain't chemo!" Or "Hey, at least you're alive after bc!" Thanks for reading. I really do hope to post more, now that things are finally settling down. I wish for us all, all the good things in 2016.

And Rebecca, I'm sure you know that typo is supposed to be "a Good year", not "hood". Ahhh proofreading...what a concept! LOL!