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Thursday, October 18, 2012

So Long, Farewell....

auf Wiedersehen, adieu....

For the last 10 years I've had a salivary gland stone.  More specifically, I was told it was a 4mm calcium deposit in the submandibular salivary gland. (The cause of these stones is unknown...could be from takin my allergy meds, or blood pressure meds, or just the result of "dry mouth".)  And at that time, the only remedy was surgery, or just use lemon drops or other things to stimulate saliva.  Occasionally it would cause the gland to become infected...about once every couple of years.  So then you take antibiotics.  And I had such an infection a couple of weeks ago.  And I was really sick & tired of dealing with it.  So I did some Google-in & learned there is a newish procedure called Sialendoscopy...they go in through the opening of the gland duct with a tiny scope thing & pull the stone out.  Great!  So I made an appointment with an ENT doc.  Of course a new patient tryin to see a specialist is gonna wait at least a couple of weeks to get an appointment.  But I was cool with that.  I've been dealin with this shit for 10 years, was already on the antibiotics...what's another couple of weeks, right? 

But this time on the antibiotics was different from all the other times....I started seein this white lump under my tongue.  And then after a couple of more days, the lump became scratchy feelin.  Of course I jack with it.  Try to scratch it off with my fingernail...nope.  So I take my dental pickin tool thingy & try to scrape it off & when I drag it across the white lump, it sounds like I'm scratchin on a fuckin rock.  So I Google again...At this point I've got myself absolutely convinced I've got some sort of fuckin mouth cancer or leukoplakia goin on...all my years of smokin (quit 9 years ago) & drinkin (don't ask) have finally caught up to me & now I've got fucking mouth cancer.  Great.  Finished the 10 day course of antibiotics.  Still have a week to go before I can see the ENT guy.  So I pop in to my regular PCP's office & see the Nurse Practicioner there.  Show it to her, tell her my history of the pain in my ass (er, mouth) salivary gland stone, & ask her could this be the stone itself tryin to pass through the duct? She was all like:

"No...absolutely not.  That's not what this is.  I don't know what this is.  Some sort of keratinized horn.  But not leukoplakia...definitely not that." 
Me: "Ok, can you say it's also definitely not mouth cancer?"
Her: "No, I can't say that either, but from the way you say it just appeared, it doesn't sound like cancer, which doesn't just 'pop up', but grows over time."

So we left & I felt reasonably sure I wasn't dying of anything.  Shit, I just had my physical 2 weeks ago & was given a clean bill of health! *takes a bow* =)

But the damned white lump under my tongue just seemed to get larger & scratchier.  And then I did more Google-in & saw pictures of salivary stones actually passing through the ducts & coming out.  And then I was totally convinced that this is what I was dealing with.  *shakes fist at Nurse Practitioner*

The Salivary Gland Stone
O looked at the Google pics, looked at the lump under my tongue & agreed.  He was sayin to just sterilize some tweezers, grab that fucker & pull it out! But I was too scared.  What if it flared out at the bottom, or was pyramid shaped? I don't wanna rip a big ass hole in my mouth & bleed like crazy!  Then O recommended I swish my mouth with Listerine.  So I did that.  And then it started happenin.  The gland started swelling...started having pain at the white lump under the tongue place.  And then the stone pretty much shot right out of my salivary gland duct.  I literally plucked it out with my fingernail. 

Absolutely freaky fuckin shit.  And ever since....I can see that my issues with this are a thing of the past.  The floor of my mouth hasn't felt so happy & lovely in years. 

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.

YAY!!!! =)


Anonymous said...

Wow... that had to be scary! I'm glad you got it out and have some relief!

LunaTechChick said...

It was pretty freaky for sure!

Paula said...

Holy shit! That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. Well, maybe not the weirdest but close. I am just happy it gone. Did you call the Nurse Practitioner and cuss her/him out? I think I would have wanted to do that. I battled with weird eye issues for 2 years and just recently went to another eye Doctor who prescribed an expensive eye ointment that cleared it up in a week. Granted I will have to use it from time to time forever but it lasts forever too. I am just a bit pissed at the Doctor in Mobile for not doing that. He said chronic dry eyes and so sorry for you. Put some drops in 5,000 times a day. Well, anyway you are done with that thing. Yeah!

LunaTechChick said...

Yeah, I kinda wanted to see if I could get my copay back! Thanks so much for readin my blog & commenting & stuff Paula! =) xx