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Friday, April 19, 2013

Runnin On Empty...

Ok, well this wasn't supposed to be the post to come out when I told my Facebook "likers" (all less than 100 of them lol ;) ) that a New Blog Post was comin soon, but it is a new blog post nonetheless.  Acutally, that day I did do a little "in between post", but eh... The post I had in mind will be out in a couple of days. ..So please stay tuned.

Anyway, so to catch up real quick...all oncology appointments are done for the next six months.  And all the doctors say I'm doin so good.  So that's a relief.  Hopefully I can successfully put my cancer crap away until September when we'll do it all again, complete with a mammo. 

OMG what a shitty week we've had...bombings at the Boston Marathon...And it appears the whole point of the bombs was to cause human death, injury, disfigurement & suffering. What the fuck is wrong with people?!  (As I type this, the second suspect is "down"...first was killed earlier today.)  Then a pregnant woman was murdered, a car chase, arrests in the Kaufman County murders, & then the tragic (apparent accidental) explosion of the Fertilizer Plant in West, TX, which leveled the town & rattled homes up to 50 miles away. I felt it. O felt it.  He came flyin down the stairs all like "WTF was that?!?!" I thought it was another earthquake.  But it was the explosion. 

All week the images coming across the television & the internet are just so awful.  Too graphic.  Too much for me.  And it makes me think.  About stuff.  Everything.  Again, another opportunity to assess my life.  (As if breast cancer wasn't opportunity enough, right?)

And I'm finding that tryin to steer life in any certain direction is futile at the mo.  Some days I think I know what & who I want need in my life.  And who I don't.  And there are some who have made that choice for me.  And that's fine. Sometimes I feel like a walkin reminder to some that a near perfect, most lovely life can become chaos/scary/short/over in an instant.

* "I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels. I look around for the friends that I used to turn to, to pull me through. Looking into their eyes I see them running too..."

Anyway...yeah....kinda feel like we're runnin on empty a bit.  But this time of year I probably always feel like that. 

I need a vacation. 

I need to make some changes. 

* "I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on.
Running on, running on empty. Running on, running blind..."*

Runnin blind....yeah.

[*Running On Empty, Jackson Browne]


LunaTechChick said...

And now suspect #2 is in custody. Good.

Paula said...

Yeah, this week has been a bitch, hasn't it. I see on the news now that they have the second bomber in custody now. I want to know what the hell they were thinking. How can you hate to that extent and still function? Well, anyway. They explosion in Texas was terrible too and I guess thankfully that was not intentional. If that even sounds right now. I am exhausted with the hubby now. I know I should be thrilled that he has no other cancer but today I am tired. I am back to cooking and doing dishes and taking garbage out and all the things that he used to do. He is not in that much pain but still there is some and then there is the pee bag he has to carry. I gave him a black plastic shopping bag with a pink ribbon on it to carry it in. It's, I am sure, degrading to carry it around but I can remember degrading things too and I didn't get as much sympathy as I wanted. But that's a whole other lifetime away, isn't it? So we will get through this and you will too. You are a strong chick. I don't know what is troubling you with peeps lately but they should just kiss off. I don't have drama on FB but I could very easily. I am on the edge with a couple of people. LOL Hang in there, girl.

LunaTechChick said...

Thank you Paula! I'm so glad your hubs is gonna be fine, but sorry you now have to do, he'll survive the pee bag. Lol! I am just being constantly reminded that I have been given (fought for) a second chance at a life....need to figure out what/where/how I want to LIVE that life, ya know? Thank you so much for keepin up with me & stuff. You are a damn tough chick yerself! xx <3

Amber said...

I watched the uncle of the suspects speak and was really impressed with how he kept his composure. I would've left those pirhanna journalists 10 minutes earlier without answering any questions. I couldn't believe they baited an upset foreigner with the question, "What do you think of the US?" But, he answered beautifully. My favorite part was when they asked him what could have prompted these actions, and he said, "Being losers!" Whatever lunatic reasoning these kids had, being losers is pretty much the best explanation. You can't find reason in this crap.

Being from small town Texas myself, the explosion in West was really sad to imagine. I'm almost grateful the suspect in the Boston bombings caused such drama because it was a good distraction from what's going on a couple hours south of us. Life changes in an instant, and most of the stuff we fill our lives with could easily fall to the wayside in an emergency. Really keeps life in perspective.

LunaTechChick said...

So true Amber. Def puts things in perspective...again. Yeah, I really am disgusted by the media, more & more lately...kinda makes us not love workinin the industry at all...just thankful we're not news media people these days.