I Don't Care! I Love It!

I am constantly finding inspiration from other people's blogs.  One I recently read inspired me to post this actual post / re-post that you are now reading.  And yes, I know I said I was done talking about my hair here, but, I guess I'm not. Thanks Elizabeth, who blogs at My Eyes Are Up Here for your thoughts on how important our hair is to us in her post, 
A Woman's Glory.

What exactly is "age appropriate" anyway, for hair in our mid 40's? Apparently mine has also surpassed what is considered to be "age appropriate" in length and style.  

And you know what?  

January 2015 - 5 years, 1 month post chemo

I. Don't. Care!

I Love It!

So, today, I'm reblogging my old, and continuously updated "Hair Regrowth Timeline Post" from December 2011.

All This Hairy Business

Yeah...have had songs from the Misfits stuck in my head while trying to come up with a title for this EPIC "How Long Will It Take My Hair To Grow Back After Chemo?" regrowth post. This is going to be long & I'm putting in lots of pictures that chronicle the loss & regrowth of my follicles, some never before shared with anyone....Today I am at the 2 years from last chemo mark.  And while I still have a ways to go before my hair is "back to normal"...it's pretty much back.  Still have some shorter top parts to grow out to catch up to the length.  But for those who (like I did) are searching the interwebs lookin for info & photos showing the rate of hair regrowth after chemo, then this is the post you're lookin for.  Now, everyone's hair grows at it's own rate, but I've been told my hair grows at pretty much the average rate....

1/4 - 1/2 inch per month.  And of course I'm doin a post like this...even before I had the breast cancer, I was all about my hair...And I miss it...soooo Ok, so here we go.....

So here I am...June 2009, (above) celebrating my 40th birthday...& I have breast cancer, I just don't know it for sure yet.  I knew about the lump at this time, but hadn't been to the doctor yet.  In about 2 weeks from this day, I was diagnosed. So, this is what someone with very aggressive breast cancer looks like.  Yep.  Next:

Ahhhh, the shave day (above)....September 14, 2009...pretty much right at 2 weeks after my 1st chemo...the hair was comin out all over the place.  I'm convinced that's what killed our vacuum cleaner! Anyway, yeah...I was more than a little upset about the havin to lose my hair part of this whole ordeal.  And I'm not gonna lie...I had to get pretty well lit to go through with it.  So after drinkin several Berry Skyy Vodkas with Diet 7Up back (was out of the good stuff lol)...we began the buzzin...Talk about Horror Business....

So I figure if I MUST lose my hair, might as well do a mohawk....And yeah, that's my personal message to breast cancer...eff you!

 So we took a few pics...& then buzzed off the 'hawk & it was gone & I was bald (above). 

And I plopped my wig on my bald head (above) & felt SOOO much better.  And we went out to dinner.  Took the new wig 'do out for a test drive lol...

 Ok..so fast forward through 6 rounds of chemo to right about a month after the last chemo...January 2010 (above).  We called this baby bird head.  The longer hairs are what never fell out...Looks like a receding hairline.

 February 2010 (above)...these are about a week apart.  When I look at these it reminds me of a turtle lol!  I didn't have any eyelashes or brows...Just using makeup as best I could to disguise that fact.  I was finishing up with radiation around this time I think...I remember the excitement with every new bit of hair growth during this time.

 March 2010 (above).  It's startin to fill in.  These are about 2 weeks apart.  I was still wearin my wigs & bandanas when out & about, but SOOOO happy to see more hair growin in. Seems like you could almost see it growin...it was different every day.

 Later in March 2010 (above)...The picture on the right is when I went out for the first time without anything on my head. Said I went topless! LOL! But was still doing wigs to work & stuff.  Very butchy lookin...

 And here is the pixie in June 2010 (above). Six months after last chemo. I finally stopped wearin wigs.  It isn't a hairdo I would have ever chosen to do, but it sure was nice to not have to have something on my head.

 

 July 2010, 7 months post chemo (above)...I've entered the "Headband Phase" of things.  The second picture shows when the chemo curl started.  These are about 2 weeks apart.

August 2010, 8 months after chemo (above).  I called this my "senior citizen 'do" lol.  I'm celebrating the end of Herceptin treatments. YAY!

 October 2010, 10 months post chemo (above).  I had gotten a tiny flat iron & straightened my hair in the pic on the left.  Every time I see it I think "Activiaaaaaaaa..."  On the right is not straightened, still in the headband phase.

October 2010, 10 months after chemo ended (above).  I'm about to attend my very first "Pink Out" Pep Rally.  And I need to learn to stop takin pics in here...SUCH bad lighting...Too much Horror Business...(Misfits fans get it...right?) Still in headbands.....I started callin the 'do the "chemo-fro" at this point. LOL!

 YAY! A nubby ponytail! (above) And from the front, startin to look more like "ME" again.  January 2011, 13 months after chemo ended. I had been able to do this for right at a month...remember when I got my mediport removed?

And when I just didn't feel like doin the nubby pony tail, it was chemo-fro in headband. Had to do the headband thing, cause it was quite the mullet! April 2011, 16 months of growin hair (above).

 May 2011, 17 months (above)

 June 2011, 18 months (above).  This was my first "real hairdo" cut.  But it wasn't really a 'do...just some blending.  I never wore it like this again.  Just kept doin ponytails, & the chemo-fro in headband thing. This was flat ironed.

This is August 2011, 20 months(above).  The shag 'do is gettin mullety again. Not flat ironed, just round brushed while drying.

 Early October 2011, 22 months post chemo (above). Round brushed left, chemo-fro right.

Late October 2011 (above).  Now I can clip up the sides while they grow out & not be in the pony tail all the time.  I've pretty much stopped wearin it curly at this point.  When I round brush it while blowdrying, it's straight, just like it used to be. YAY!

 And this is exactly 24 months from the end of chemo - December 2011 (above).  Two years of growin. I wish these photos were better quality, but we were in a bit of a rush & I wanted pics taken on the anniversary of the end of chemo.  Anyway, I still have some growin to do...gotta let that shortest top layer catch up to the rest....So, I'm still growin, but wanted to share this in the hopes that newly diagnosed people might see that yes, it sucks to have to lose your hair, but it does come back.  I saw a similar post one day while I was bald in the middle of chemo, & it encouraged me & helped me so much...& that's all I'm wantin to do here...help others goin through the same thing.  I realize that, as cancer survivors, we have much more serious issues & things to deal with, but if you're like me, the hardest part was the hair thing.  So I hope that if you're checkin out this post because you are waitin & watchin for your hair to grow back, just know...it will be back.  You WILL have your hair again.   

[I may add pics to this post a couple of times until I achieve the 'do that I will call Mission Accomplished.] 

***************Edit: Pics Added April 2012**************

 March 2012 - 27 months post chemo

*************Edit: Pics Added June 2012**************

May 2012 - 29 months post chemo

June 2012 -  2 1/2 years post chemo

I think I'm almost there. Still gotta keep the sides pulled up.  Will check back in about 6 more months.



************************Edit:  Pics Added December 2012**************************





November 2012 - 2 years 11 months post chemo 

**************************Edit:  Pics Added April 2013***************************

March 2013 - 3 years 3 months post chemo

********************Edit: Pics Added December 2013***************

Mission Accomplished! These were taken October & September 2013, just shy of the four year anniversary of the end of chemo, which was December 10, 2013, the date of this Edit

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You will see the blog begin to change a bit over the next several weeks.  The biggest change is that you can now locate this "Hair Growth Journal" so much easier by clicking on the "Hair Regrowth Timeline" tab at the top of the page.  (You will see other tabs too, click em!) You can see from the Comments that follow that post, that this is def a hot button topic for bc people. We love having our hair. It's devastating to lose it.  

No, it is not mere vanity.  

It. Just. Is. 

Everything I've Been Through...

You Wouldn't Know....

"You don't LOOK like a bc survivor!"  Ummmm....Thank you?

Who the fuck says that to someone? Well, I AM, whether or not I look like it.  My left boob sure as hell looks like it survived bc.  

What exactly does a bc survivor look like anyway?  Not all bc people do chemo, and take on the "look" of a cancer patient. (Assuming most associate the "look" with baldness or very short hair.) But I assure you, whatever a bc survivor is supposed to look like, I am one.**  

On my 45th Birthday 6/5/14

Throughout the treatment process, my look changed.  During the regrowth of my hair, I guess I must have "looked" like a bc survivor, cause no one ever said I didn't during that time.  

But the other day, someone actually said  to me..."You don't LOOK like a bc survivor!", and I was just kinda....well....flabbergasted beyond speech.  What are you trying to say a bc survivor looks like???

Think people. 

/ rant

** I kinda hate that term, "bc survivor", but I don't know what else say. I can't really say I've "survived" it, till I'm very, very old, if I am so fortunate.

You Say Goodbye, And I Say....

Hello? Hello, hello?

Yes, I'm still here.  I hope no one mistook my lack of posting to mean anything terrible, although for awhile there, I was kinda afraid of certain health issues.  So, let's jump right in...and here is your TMI warning.  Yes, we're gonna talk about lady-bits.  And their functions.  And the holidays.  And the New Year.  And the future of the blog.

Ok, Reader's Digest version: After being told I'm FIRMLY in menopause with blood FSH test of 128, the out of the blue visit from "Aunt Flo" after a four year absence, (well, except for a quick visit back in 2012) was just a bit more than surprising. Hel-LO!  Not being able to get the lovely vagi-sono the doc wanted done for three weeks...till AFTER all the holidays....yeah, made it just a bit anxiety filled.  And the fact that things got "super-crazy-ass-heavy-hfs-am-I-hemorrhaging-now-maybe-go-to-the-ER" kind of heavy on Christmas Day.....Yeah.  Full on panic attack.  But didn't go to the ER. Just calmed the fuck down.  

Then a couple of days later *poof*. Gone.  Nada.  Like nothing ever happened. 

Finally got the sono.  New FSH run.  They say they saw "follicles" & that I'm ovulating. (I have no idea if I'm even saying this correctly.)  And uterus looks fine.  FSH is still showing menopausal, but is now 80 down from 128.  They said it appears that things are "waking up" again.  And we'll run FSH again in March.  So chemopause is apparently temporary for some.  Not sure how I feel about that, but not knowing wtf for so long did kinda damper some of the holidays with paranoia. Of course it did, this is ME! LOL! 

We did manage to have some fun in spite of it.  We ate too much, stayed up too late, slept in late, Skyped some and def had holiday fun....just with little sprinkles of me being a total psychosomatic/hypochondriac freak. LOL!  

No New Year's Resolutions for me this year.  Not even gonna bother, cause I never ever keep them.  And as you can see, more and more time seems to pass between blog posts.  Which is a good thing I think, since I started this because of getting cancer and being bald n' shit.  And without those things to talk about, I just kinda don't think I'm interesting enough to continue to blog the boring regular life stuff like I once did. I figure, it's not like I'm a celeb or anything, so who really gives a shit? Right? 

Oh sure, I could do yet another blog about yet another episode of rudeness at the Chipotle...where the lovely church goers saved all four normal tables for their party, trickling in, therefore we were stuck at a high-top (I hate high-tops) and one of those nice, normal tables remained totally "free" when we finished our meal and were leaving.  Yeah, loved that. 

Anyway.... I even spoke with O about redesigning the banner for the blog, since the hair is basically back to normal and I'm no longer "growing my long hair back".  But then I'm like, Eh, wtf for?

So You Say Goodbye to seeing weekly posts of my cancer crap, and I Say Hello to more and more of a return to normalcy.  Well, as normal as you can feel having gone through bc, because I truly don't think anyone ever really fully recovers from it mentally.  But it is not part of my every minute of every single damn day's existence anymore. Although, I am, and apparently will forever be the hugest hypochondriac and master of psychosomatics, cause, well, you know, because of the very nature of bc, things could happen....things could go from great & perfect to scary as shit in a nanosecond. More on THAT oh so lovely topic in a future post. And no matter what, the blog will not disappear, cause I love that certain posts, especially this one, are apparently very very helpful to many.

Me being goofy on NYE

So, I'll still post here, as stuff happens, or if something really cool, or uncool, or stupid, or interesting, or awesome, or another rant about finding food fail happens. And I really hope my subscribers and my regular readers, and my Facebook Likers and even my lurkers will hang in here with me, cause you just never know. Ya know? =)

Happy New Year!! 





[Disclaimer: Yes, I am very aware that I love to link to other posts & apparently am in love with italics.]

Same As It Ever Was...

September 2013

Well, I think I'm pretty much there....probably the very LAST hair regrowth update post. Today marks four years since my last chemo (not my last visit to the chemo room, since Herceptin continued on until the following August) & the hair is pretty much back to normal.  And guess what I'm doing today? I'm getting a HAIRCUT!!! Ok, a TRIM, but still!! Yay!!! 

I've been pretty thrilled with my hair for about a year, but there were still some areas of growing out to be done. Even now, I have all these weird lengths growing in, throughout my head, especially the underneath of my hair & deep in the sides...about six inches long.  But eh, I don't mind.  I am back to the routine styling techniques & products & it looks pretty much the same as it ever was.  Well, it's not quite as long as it was when it started falling out, but that's by my choice.  I've had a good three inches cut off over the last year or so, cause I want it to look good...not just long. Long hair sucks if it just looks totally fried.  Ya know?

Anyway...I'm gonna add these pics to that post that documents the Hair to Bald To Hair as the FINAL, "Mission Accomplished" hair post.  And unless something drastic happens with it, I probably won't post about it again, except to respond to comments on the Epic Hair Regrowth Post.  I respond to EACH and EVERY comment on my blog.  And I'm so happy that the hair chronicle post has been so helpful to so many.  =)

So as I reflect on this anniversary of the last chemo, December 10, 2009, I find myself thinking, "Well, how did I get here?" Letting the days go by......

Anyway, so here it is...these were taken in September, October & November 2013. 

October 2013

                                                                                                                                                                   

Novermber 2013

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was........