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Thursday, August 2, 2012

One & One & One Is Three....

Ok, just gonna put this out there....I learned somethin (I think) a couple of days ago.  And it's had me a bit freaked out. (What's new...) And I'm thinkin that if I blog it out, maybe I can put it out of my mind.  (Yeah, right!) So here we go....

I've totally been lovin this new, hi tech computer stuff at my Oncologist's new office.  There's this "Patient Portal" where I can log in & get test results, confirm my appointments with Dr W, & even see all the correspondence between him & my other doctors.  S'all good right?  WELL....I got a notification a few days ago about a new Record havin been added to my stuff.  So I log on & check it out.  Nice letter from Dr W to all my other docs....about how I followed him to the new place, I appear to be doin well, this looks fine, that checks out fine...."I will continue to monitor her conservatively at this time with a follow up in 4 months..." Yeah...all sounds great.  And I also saw that all my stuff from the last 3 years has been scanned in & transferred to Dr W's...And then I saw it. A note from my routine follow up from February.  At the end of the letter is a part called "Assesment/Plan:" And there's my full diagnosis & pathology info.  And it starts with "Stage IIIA, Left Breast Carcinoma, ER Negative/PR 9%......"

WHOA!!!  Stage III??!  All this time I've been goin around thinkin I was a Stage II bc survivor.  So I was all like, "Whaaaatthefuuuuuck????!!!!"  Surely this is a typo....

But I've done some checkin....& I do believe that is the case. And how the hell did I manage to miss this bit of information? 

And yeah, (naturally) it freaked me out, but I dunno why really. It's not like it even matters at all at this point. Doesn't change a thing.  Just changes what I thought I knew & what I thought I had.  Well...& survival rates & stuff, but I never looked into all that anyway.  Shew...I know myself well enough to know better than to even bother with lookin at that stuff. 

Anyway, was gonna call up Dr's W & V & ask for clarification, but then I figured, what the hell for??!  Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at all anymore. This has been the case from day one apparently & I've received appropriate treatment.  I do need to clarify to be for sure for sure, but I think it can wait till I'm in front of them in September. I mean, if I'm tellin my story, I need to be tellin it right! Right?

So how bout that! I'm tougher than I thought, bein all Stage III & all....

And I also don't think I'm gonna be lookin at the Online Notes stuff again. 


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