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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Look What I Can Do!

YAY! Look at what I can now do!  This is right at 21 months post chemo.  I still need to get the chemo fuzz trimmed off, but trying to hold out till that damned top layer gets below my jaw....seems like I still have a couple of inches to go.  Maybe I'll have a real 'do by Christmas!

What else is goin on.....hmmm.....well, I keep on gettin crappy cancer news from my friends.  Have I mentioned lately how much I fuckin HATE fuckin cancer? FUCK!  Anyway, yeah, another person at my insurance office job has a recent diagnosis & a surgery next week.  My other friend at the office is in the process of gettin a second opinion from a new oncologist to find out WTF is goin on.  And then there's this.   And this.  Normally I L O V E to read this awesome lady's posts. And she's even encouraged me in my "battle of the bullshit" as she calls it, through emails & Facebook & stuff.   But these latest 2 posts, tellin of her recent diagnosis of Stage IV distant spread to the bones?  Yeah.  Gutted to learn this.  It just seems like every time I get a bit of good news about my cancer situation, I learn of someone else that I care about gettin bad news about theirs.  I mean, my insurance office job is very small.  And now, 50% of the staff have/had cancer.  And I'm supposed to remain positive.  Right. 

But this most recent visit with my awesome surgeon Dr V, was more like catchin up with a friend.  Well, ok, maybe not exactly like that, but I wasn't all kind of freaked out for a change.  In fact, we were sharin stories & doin a lot of laughin through the exam.  So, that was one medical visit I actually enjoyed.  Well, except for the exam part.

And the trial of Michael Jackson's doctor is all over the news.  And it's a reminder to me, because he passed away on the day of my biopsy.  So hearin all about what happened & all just is makin me sick & sad.  Sad for the loss of such an icon & really awesome entertainer, & sick cause it does conjure up those feelings again...the awful dreaded feelin of waiting to find out if you have cancer.

So anyway, wow, this post is all over the place.  But that's me lately.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

We've Only Just Begun.... see the Pinkwashing.  And it's not even October.  I've been back & forth with my thoughts on the Pink Ribbon...I know some breast cancer survivors who are so totally ANTI pink...& then I know some who completely cover themselves in pink...

I do display a pink ribbon here & there.  Mostly as a show of support & solidarity to other survivors...& know, so other survivors might recognize I am one too.  Or maybe a newly diagnosed person will realize I'm a survivor too & then I get the opportunity to try to ease the fears, talk, & help in some way.'s just a few of the Pinkwashing items I've come across lately....

I do get that for some, seein all this pink & pink ribbons is a painful, sad reminder.  But for others, they see it as an inspiration to keep fighting.  I'm just not so sure about all the products that go pink this time of year.  

I mean, I see these batteries, & I'm all like, REALLY?  But then again, I can see the funds raised are really going to a real & very recognized breast cancer charity.  And they do help people, &  research & stuff.  

Sooooooo, again, I'll just remind y'all to THINK before you PINK.  Make sure that the pinkness you're buying shows WHERE the funds are goin & HOW MUCH money from each unit sold is bein donated.  Or is the product just simply for awareness....

October is, for me, so much more than breast cancer awareness month.  It's Autumn, it's awesome, & it's Halloween time.  And yes, my Halloween deco is all out!


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Ch-ch-ch Changes......

Soooooooo, Zuckerberg & Co have made major changes to Facebook.  And at first I was pretty irritated about it.  BUT...after spending some time learning about the new features, I actually like it.  What surprises me is that the public's outcry for "old Facebook" has actually made the news...both internet news & broadcast too.  


C'mon now! Give it a chance.  And to those of you who want to continually lament & cry & demand FB go back to how it was...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Keepin Y'all "Abreast"......

Yeah.....I'm just not that creative lately...thus the cheesy post title.  Anyway....mammo came out all good.  The nurse quoted the doc as saying: "She looks good."  So *whew!*  BUT, he wants to get one more look at the scar/tumor site with a mammo on that side only in six months.  THEN, provided it still looks good, he'll release me to havin Annual Diagnostic Mammos.  Not because of anything he saw, but just to be safe. 

Next up: The follow up with the awesome surgeon, Dr V.  He usually just confirms the mammo results, does his own examination of the boobies, & that's that.  Seein as how a digital mammo totally didn't show my tumor, I'm glad I have someone lookin after them with me.  And because of that, I always show up a tad bit nervous, till he finishes feelin 'em & gives me the thumbs up.

I also took a couple weeks off from work.  There's just all these appointments for the medical stuff, and several video shoots I need to help O with.  Now that he's no longer teachin, we're focusin on tryin to get the video biz doin well again.  And there are some things happenin with that. 

Soooooo, times are interesting for sure.  Not that you'd know from this (boring) blog entry. My writing skills have definitely dulled.  Thanks chemo brain. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Milestone Mammo Mornin

Tomorrow I will have a bit of a "milestone" mammogram.  I do believe that as long as this mammo looks fine, I will be allowed to go to Annual Diagnostic Mammos instead of the every 6 months we've been doin.  And, it also falls on the anniversary of the day I had to shave my head in 2009.  Sooo, in memory of that, I wanted to share a photo here:
Know what I call this?  I call this "A Beautiful Thing" tools & products spread out on my bathroom counter.  Yep, even though I'm at (yet another) in between, non-'do hair situation, I do now require some of my favorite hair things. I could probably get a style cut in now, but I'm holdin out for when I can get a 'do I'll actually like the looks of.  For now, I'm fine with the ponytail or the curly in the headband thing while it grows out.  Was told by my hair lady (she was cuttin O's hair) that it appears to be growin fast at the moment.  YAYAYAY!!!

Anyway, so yeah....mammo tomorrow.  Yes I'm nervous.  Follow up with Dr V next week.  And the week followin that is that awful sonogram thing with Dr D.  And this week also marks Year 1 of 5 on Tamoxifen.  So far so good.

And we're totally ready for the dern weather to cool off & stay cooled off.