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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

You Say Goodbye, And I Say....

Hello? Hello, hello?

Yes, I'm still here.  I hope no one mistook my lack of posting to mean anything terrible, although for awhile there, I was kinda afraid of certain health issues.  So, let's jump right in...and here is your TMI warning.  Yes, we're gonna talk about lady-bits.  And their functions.  And the holidays.  And the New Year.  And the future of the blog.

Ok, Reader's Digest version: After being told I'm FIRMLY in menopause with blood FSH test of 128, the out of the blue visit from "Aunt Flo" after a four year absence, (well, except for a quick visit back in 2012) was just a bit more than surprising. Hel-LO!  Not being able to get the lovely vagi-sono the doc wanted done for three weeks...till AFTER all the holidays....yeah, made it just a bit anxiety filled.  And the fact that things got "super-crazy-ass-heavy-hfs-am-I-hemorrhaging-now-maybe-go-to-the-ER" kind of heavy on Christmas Day.....Yeah.  Full on panic attack.  But didn't go to the ER. Just calmed the fuck down.  

Then a couple of days later *poof*. Gone.  Nada.  Like nothing ever happened. 

Finally got the sono.  New FSH run.  They say they saw "follicles" & that I'm ovulating. (I have no idea if I'm even saying this correctly.)  And uterus looks fine.  FSH is still showing menopausal, but is now 80 down from 128.  They said it appears that things are "waking up" again.  And we'll run FSH again in March.  So chemopause is apparently temporary for some.  Not sure how I feel about that, but not knowing wtf for so long did kinda damper some of the holidays with paranoia. Of course it did, this is ME! LOL! 

We did manage to have some fun in spite of it.  We ate too much, stayed up too late, slept in late, Skyped some and def had holiday fun....just with little sprinkles of me being a total psychosomatic/hypochondriac freak. LOL!  

No New Year's Resolutions for me this year.  Not even gonna bother, cause I never ever keep them.  And as you can see, more and more time seems to pass between blog posts.  Which is a good thing I think, since I started this because of getting cancer and being bald n' shit.  And without those things to talk about, I just kinda don't think I'm interesting enough to continue to blog the boring regular life stuff like I once did. I figure, it's not like I'm a celeb or anything, so who really gives a shit? Right? 

Oh sure, I could do yet another blog about yet another episode of rudeness at the Chipotle...where the lovely church goers saved all four normal tables for their party, trickling in, therefore we were stuck at a high-top (I hate high-tops) and one of those nice, normal tables remained totally "free" when we finished our meal and were leaving.  Yeah, loved that. 

Anyway.... I even spoke with O about redesigning the banner for the blog, since the hair is basically back to normal and I'm no longer "growing my long hair back".  But then I'm like, Eh, wtf for?

So You Say Goodbye to seeing weekly posts of my cancer crap, and I Say Hello to more and more of a return to normalcy.  Well, as normal as you can feel having gone through bc, because I truly don't think anyone ever really fully recovers from it mentally.  But it is not part of my every minute of every single damn day's existence anymore. Although, I am, and apparently will forever be the hugest hypochondriac and master of psychosomatics, cause, well, you know, because of the very nature of bc, things could happen....things could go from great & perfect to scary as shit in a nanosecond. More on THAT oh so lovely topic in a future post. And no matter what, the blog will not disappear, cause I love that certain posts, especially this one, are apparently very very helpful to many.

Me being goofy on NYE
So, I'll still post here, as stuff happens, or if something really cool, or uncool, or stupid, or interesting, or awesome, or another rant about finding food fail happens. And I really hope my subscribers and my regular readers, and my Facebook Likers and even my lurkers will hang in here with me, cause you just never know. Ya know? =)

Happy New Year!! 

[Disclaimer: Yes, I am very aware that I love to link to other posts & apparently am in love with italics.]