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Wednesday, February 17, 2021

So Cold Cold Cold!

Reynaud's Disease.  Apparently, I haz it.  I can't even believe it's taken me several years to finally consult with Dr. Google & figure out why it seems like my feet are like ice blocks much of the time and why my hands get so cold that my fingers go white.  Sometimes, creepy white.  It's not only when I am in a chilly environment either.  If I am experiencing high stress or anxiety, I notice that my fingers get super cold, even toes will get numb feeling.  And when this happened during a stressful and anxiety causing conversation recently, I finally looked it up and learned about Reynaud's Disease, or Syndrome, or Phenomenon.  Eh, cold hands, warm heart, right?  I don't know if it's a long term side effect from the chemo.  I have found some articles online that indicate it might be, but I didn't see any of the drugs I was given listed as known to cause it.  And really, I may have been experiencing this, especially in my toes, even before having cancer.  So there's that...

So anyway....  Haven't had a whole lot to report, which, on a cancer blog is a good thing.  I can say that my mammogram in November was still clear and my labs from my physical in December still look normal.  So in June, when it will definitly NOT be cold here, I will be 12 years NED.  

It's been really hard to even want to write (again) anything for ages it seems.  Thanks to the pandemic, and avoiding people, and cooking most of our meals, and then the political climate as of late...just seemed better to just be quiet.  On the plus side, the vaccines for COVID-19 are rolling out more and more.  We just gotta hang in there a bit longer.  We've been at this a long time now...  I remember a blog I did where I mentioned how my life was now divided into two parts, bc and ad....  

And now it's divided again.  BC - Before COVID.  

The last two weeks here have been so rainy.  Fog, mist, rain, thunderstorms.  And now our friends and family in Texas are dealing with a major winter storm situation, complete with lots of snow and rolling blackouts during record breaking low temps.  Y'all stay safe and warm.  

Mask up y'all!
So, yeah, just felt like I wanted to do a post to just say that I now feel like I know why I'm cold a lot of the time.  And to say I'm still NED, as far as anyone can tell.  

And I miss normal life.  I know you do too.  I never, ever imagined this is what real life would look like.  

Hang in there all.  I know there's warm light at the end of the tunnel.  

Saturday, November 7, 2020

I'm So Tired

 Exhausted.  Worn out.  

The 2020 Election is over after 3 1/2 long days of counting votes.  Joe Biden is the President-Elect.  I am relieved. Mr. Trump is going to continue to litigate his way to keeping the Presidency.  I don't believe it will work.  

He has released this statement:

Halloween 2020
Mr. President, do you really believe that all of the other GOP candidates who WON in this election, on the very SAME ballot, that their votes are invalid?  Do you really want to cast doubt on ALL of the winning GOP candidates in the various congressional & state elections?  Have you not even a shred of dignity you'd like to preserve?  Please, just wish the President-Elect congratulations and look forward to moving on.   
I look forward to finally being able to enjoy a little peace of mind.

Friday, October 2, 2020

I'm Empty And Aching...

 And I don't know why.  

When I look back on the holidays last year, there was so much hope.  So much promise for 2020.  We rang in the new year with so much excitement.

September 2020

Now look.  Just look.  This year has been one major shitshow.  It was bad enough to have a pandemic.  But to also have an election year go so scary, crazy badly.  And losing RBG.  Bless her.  I know she hung in there as long as she could.  

Did you watch that first debate between Trump and Biden?  I did.  What a shitshow.  By the end of it I felt physically exhaused and emotionally empty. 

Not gonna lie.  I.  Am.  Terrified.  The way this election is going and the way this new Supreme Court Justice is going to get super-duper fasttracked on the Court.

Regardless of which side you are on politically, if you have any, and I do mean ANY preexisting condition in your health, you should be, at the very least, mildly frightened too.  Whether or not you are insured through the Affordable Care Act, or privately, or through your place of employment, coverage for those preexisting conditons is very likely to go bye-bye.  (The only work around would be if you developed a condition while insured and remain insured with no lapse of coverage.)

If you've had a COVID-19 diagnosis, you now have a preexisting condition.

I remember being privately insured during an era when preexisting conditions were not covered.  Any and everything to do with my thyroid was completely my responsibility.  It was expensive and it was awful.  I have enjoyed having my thyroid meds covered and anything that may arise regarding my cancer will also be covered.  For now, at least.  

Scary, scary times these be.  What in the world has happened to our country?  I don't even recognize it anymore.  Where is logic?  Where is decorum?  I'm being told to prepare.  Be ready for civil war.  Civil unrest.  

I know Mr. Trump keeps preaching that he will keep coverage for preexisting conditions.  While he's actively engaged in a lawsuit, as you read these words, to completely overturn the Affordable Care Act?  Believe him?  I've got some real estate here in my bag.  

I just can't even with this guy.

October kicks off the holidy season for us.  We have already mailed in our Absentee Ballots.  We will find ways to entertain ourselves, socially distanced, of course.  We will go out and find beauty to look at. 

I will still be entertained by the simplest of things.  I will still enjoy taking photos of food and flowers.  I will still run outside and look at the moon, stars and planets.  

I've gone to look for America.

**EDIT** It is now being reported that the President & First Lady are now positive for COVID-19.  My immediate thought was that it's not even true.  That it's just another distraction tactic to get out of another debate and/or to garner sympathy votes.  Isn't that a sad state of affairs, when we don't believe our President?

**EDIT #2**  It is now being reported that the president has been taken to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center for treatment of COVID-19. 

Friday, September 25, 2020

If You Choose Not To Decide...

 You still have made a choice. 

Please, y'all.  We can't afford to sit this one out.  This election is very likely the most important one we've seen in this lifetime.  History has already been made with this election, and it's not even Election Day yet.  

So, please participate.  Please.

V O T E!