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| June 4, 2024 |
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice.
Four years ago this week. On June 30th actually. My whole world changed. I got the phone call that the pathology was in from the biopsy & it was positive for breast cancer.
I can't believe four years have passed. I don't even really have a whole lot to say about it, but I just feel the need to remember it & several other days that have to do with it. D-Day...NED day...first & last chemo days....head shave day...
Why? Why do I mark these days on the calendar year after year? Only thing I can think of is that having to go through the bc bs is hard.
Damn hard. And once you've had it, things are never, ever the same again.
I'm pretty sure O hopes there will someday be a time when I'm totally & finally done with all the cancer stuff. So do I. But I really don't think you're ever totally just DONE with it, once you've had it. I do know that it isn't so much the focus....like I no longer eat, sleep, breathe, walk & talk cancer 24/7 like I once did. But it's always there...looming. Like a dark cloud that just can't wait to strike like lightning....every single time I have the slightest ache or pain...or spot...or pimple...or pretty much anything. And pleeeeeease don't mention any symptom of anything at all to me. Ever. *Furrows brow in the direction of Dr's V, W & C & even F* Cause remember, I truly am THE Master of Psychosomatics. Yeah.
Eh, anyway....Four years later. And I'm Still Standing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like in 2013, I still wonder why I feel the need to mark all these damn cancer dates down on a calendar. But yes, I do. All of them. Still. And O & I are still waiting on that "someday". It's never over. Ever.
But less of the focus for sure.
I guess I have about as much to say about it today as I did when I posted
And here I am at 55. And I'm Still Standing....
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm Still Standing....
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| June 2009. About a week before D-Day. |
I can't believe four years have passed. I don't even really have a whole lot to say about it, but I just feel the need to remember it & several other days that have to do with it. D-Day...NED day...first & last chemo days....head shave day...
Why? Why do I mark these days on the calendar year after year? Only thing I can think of is that having to go through the bc bs is hard.
Damn hard. And once you've had it, things are never, ever the same again.
I'm pretty sure O hopes there will someday be a time when I'm totally & finally done with all the cancer stuff. So do I. But I really don't think you're ever totally just DONE with it, once you've had it. I do know that it isn't so much the focus....like I no longer eat, sleep, breathe, walk & talk cancer 24/7 like I once did. But it's always there...looming. Like a dark cloud that just can't wait to strike like lightning....every single time I have the slightest ache or pain...or spot...or pimple...or pretty much anything. And pleeeeeease don't mention any symptom of anything at all to me. Ever. *Furrows brow in the direction of Dr's V, W & C & even F* Cause remember, I truly am THE Master of Psychosomatics. Yeah.
Eh, anyway....Four years later. And I'm Still Standing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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