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Thursday, December 31, 2015

I Wasn't Born With Enough Middle Fingers....

Sept 2009
Fuck off fifteen. Yep, next to 2009, 2015 ranks right up there as one of the most shitastic years in my memory. 

I don't make New Year resolutions. Haven't for many years now. I'm not really sure what the hell happened this year, but nothing turned out to be what was expected. And maybe that's the problem. Expectations. So, no resolutions for me.

Yeah, our move to the east coast and back definitely was the big event of the year, and we are forever changed by it. Relationships are changed. I made a new friend. And I had something other than cancer to focus on for a change. 

The day after Christmas, we rode out the tornado outbreak here in Texas. Like, an EF3 tornado came within 2 miles of our house. And if you know me, you know I don't handle tornado warnings very well. It wasn't until I turned off the street from our neighborhood and saw with my own eyes, large, brick homes in rubble. Like piles of bricks and matchsticks, that I realized what a close call it was and how so very thankful I am to not be in that situation. So so sad that anyone has to deal with that and that there were some fatalities. And am motivated to help in any way we can. This is a close knit community, and people are coming together to help one another unlike anything I've ever seen before. It is soul warming.

Looking back at the year, I wish it had been as uneventful as last year. But I remain ever grateful that my health situation remains NED. This is my seventh New Year's Eve since diagnosis. And I really am thankful. I have a wonderful medical team of doctors that I credit with my being here to bitch about 2015 being not at all what I was expecting. Again, the problem of expectations.

So, 2015 has been a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. But is any year ever perfect? Well, I didn't have to do any active treatment for breast cancer, so, in spite of it all, it was a good year. Any year I'm not actively dealing with cancer, I deem to be a good one. And, please don't come down on me for having gripes about feeling like I'm more than done with this year. I pretty much hate 2015 almost as much as 2009. Just because I've so far survived cancer, doesn't require me to be happy and giddy for the rest of my forever. 

Truly, it wasn't all bad. I did learn so many things. So many lessons. And the new Star Wars movie came out and we were even contracted to do a spoof video. So that was kind of awesome.

I'm sorry this post isn't all happy, flowery, uplifting hopefulness. I am more than ready to give the single finger salute to the end of 2015. The best part of 2015 is that it's almost over. And for that, I am super excited. 


As every year, I want to thank you all for reading my rambles and musings. Though they were few this year. I thank you for your friendship. For caring about us.

Happy New Year! May 2016 be better to us all.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

So This Is Christmas...

December 2015
And what have you done?

Well, pretty much changed my life in just about every single way you can. The jury's still out on if it's for better or for worse. But change was totally needed. And change, we got a'plenty. 

Ah, but if you know me, you know I'm doing my best to enjoy each moment of each day as much as possible. Find something to smile about. Something to laugh at. Even if it's just at myself. 

I hope to have a post out of more substance for y'all before the end of the year. My 2015 wrap up post. I already have the title and some thoughts... 

I expect to return to writing more in the new year. I have started and abandoned so many posts this year. My Draft folder just gets bigger and bigger. But I do miss the therapy of it, so it will pick back up. I think I've just been feeling like I should keep my thoughts and opinions on certain people/places/things to myself. Like, who the hell cares about what I think anyway? Right? But then, why have a blog? So posts will be returning.

I hope everyone can find some enjoyment during this holiday season and get to do something just for yourself. Even if it's just to nap, loaf, watch movies, or go to big celebrations. 

Thank you for keeping up with us here and for reading my silly words.