It's scientific.
My 50th year is going by too, too fast.
My 50th year is going by too, too fast.
You'll never, ever hear me
complain about getting older. I've said it many times before, getting old is a privilege denied to many. However, the EFFECTS of aging? I will definitely complain. Often.
Loudly.
 |
| December 2019 |
First, I am getting
jowly. The jowls are apparent. Which leads me to my second complaint: Gravity.
Fuck you, gravity. Pulling those
jowls and other parts earthward. Which
leads me to my third complaint:
Difficulty losing weight. I lost
about 21 pounds in 2007, only to be told in 2009 that my chemo might cause me
to gain up to 30 pounds. I was all
like, fuck that! I ate my usual strict
South Beach diet all through chemo.
Gained a little weight. But not
a whole bunch. And promptly took it right back
off. And now, I've been not so strict
in my diet, especially since moving home to Georgia. Hey, what can I say, #hushpuppieshappen, right? And cheese grits. And fried seafood.
Anyway, thanks to the slower metabolism, and that asshole gravity, even
if I DO take off this excess weight, my favorite jeans most likely still will
not fit me well again because stuff isn't where it once was. Ya know?
Damn!
Damn!
Anyway, yeah, lots more gray hairs, and this crazy deep wrinkle between my eyebrows, as well as my inability to read my phone without readers reminds me that I am SO lucky to still be here, as I approach my 11th year, post diagnosis.
So, yeah. I'll be 51 in June, and 11 years out. And I'm still very much afraid of the cancer
coming back. That's not going to
change, as Shannen Doherty reminded us today.
As if we needed reminding. So sad for her. For us all, really.
7 comments:
I am so glad you wrote this. I am also extremely grateful to still be here still having birthdays. I truly am. I fully realize that many are not as lucky. Many young women (and men and sadly, children too) die early from cancer and other illnesses and don't get the chance to grow old or even older. But still, this doesn't mean we gotta be quiet about parts of aging that annoy us.
Gravity is definitely not my friend either. Nor is my scale. Nor are mirrors. Why do some women look even lovelier as they grow older? And those ads with beautiful women showing off their gray hair - yep, annoyed here.
Anyway, things definitely do fall apart. Thanks for writing about it. And btw, I am sooo much older than you, my friend. Just wait...
Hey Nancy!
Yep, we are both annoyed by the same things. Every time I have to get on the scale at the doctor's office, I always advise them that they "really should get this thing fixed!" Yeah, I'm gonna complain about the effects, the weight, the reflection.... But I also hope to be able to be soooo much older. (There's no way you're THAT much older...just sayin'!)
xo
Hello, this is so good and I can totally relate. I’m 58, 18 years post diagnosis, and struggle with aging. However, I am grateful to be here. BTW, I found you through Nancy’s Point.��
Hi Sue! Thanks so much for reading & commenting. So we both were diagnosed around age 40! Yes, I am so grateful to still be here, but damn the effects of aging! The march of time right across my face...neck...back....ouch! I love Nancy! Do you have a blog also?
I was close to 300 lbs in 2015 & I had gastric bypass surgery & 4 years later I was 134 lbs and then I got my cancer diagnosis in September 2019 and got the minimal lumpectomy, the radiation and now I’m on Anastrozole & aside from all the side effects of every bone in my body hurting and I have no energy whatsoever, my diet did not change but my weight has and I watched myself go up to 146 pounds in about almost two months of being on this medication and that setting me now into a deeper depression to the point I want to stop the pills because I feel like poop and the weight-gain is playing with me especially because I had gastric bypass surgery but I know that the medicine is supposed to keep me alive and keep the cancer at bay so I feel like I’m in a no-win situation and no (mental) therapy is helping. There are days I just stay in bed and watch TV because I’m either too depressed or every bone hurts to get out of bed. thank you for letting me share. I have considered stopping Anastrozole because I heard some people take vacations from it and I really want to get my weight back down and I want to feel like a person again. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Angie
In 2015 I had gastric bypass because I was 300 pounds & four years later I’m 136 and life is good, then I get my diagnosis, lumpectomy, radiation and they put it on Anastrozole & I’m gaining weight (only on med almost 2 months & so far I weigh 146) & every part of my body hurts. Some days can’t get out of bed. Hear that some ppl go on meds vacation to get their body/mind back. I go for therapy but the weight gain is with messing me because I had gastric bypass. Does it slow down, will I lose it, when will I stop hurting & have more energy. Sometimes just stay in bed for days for lack of energy. I go for therapy & I know I should feel lucky since it was caught early but these meds are messing with me. Does taking a meds vacation help the body/mind go back to pre-diagnosis status. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Angie
Hey Angie! I totally get it. I was on Tamoxifen for 2 years & my oncologist agreed I should stop it, but I was not ER positive, so it was a pretty easy decision. Quality is just as important as quantity, IMO. What good is staying around if we're miserable & in pain all the time?? You do what you feel is right for you. Thanks for sharing with me here.
xx
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