Everyone's A Winner Baby...

That's the truth.

I've ranted about this before.  The story that brought on this repeat rant is just another example of words people use to describe someone who has passed away as a result of breast cancer.  *WARNING!! If you are like me, in that, hearing of someone's passing away from breast cancer totally freaks you out & sends you into a spiral of psychosomatic symptoms & worry, panic & the like, please DO NOT click on the link in this blog post.* I'm actually getting better about that.  I was shaken a bit after hearing about this lady & then reading her story, but I try to remember all my wonderful doctors telling me "everyone is different", "you are one of the ones that can be cured"....

Karen Martinez

http://blog.mysanantonio.com/jakle06/2013/02/beloved-s-a-anchor-karen-martinez-loses-cancer-fight/

So anyway....I hate that this happened to this beautiful young lady, her family, friends, coworkers & viewers, all who loved her.  And I HATE the title of this article.  NOW HEAR THIS: NO ONE LOSES THEIR BATTLE.  OK? To me, that just makes it sound like they did something wrong, or didn't do something they should have....Surely there's a better way to relay this.  How bout that she "passed away after a lengthy bc illness"? Or that she was "taken too soon by bc"?

Anyway...as my oncology appointments loom ever closer on the calendar, I try not to daily deteriorate into a complete wreck.  And I have vowed to remain absolutely calm when I get in front of Dr W.  In 27 days. I think. 

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You...

Have had this on my mind lately.  Hummin this tune.  And it's a good thing, too.  Good to remember.  Karma happens.  Right? You might think, well, I don't do anything bad, so I've nothing to fear from Karma. But I think Karma also pays people a visit when the things they say & think are ugly & hateful.  I think we could all do well to try to live life tryin to avoid a ride on Karma Train.

Maybe I had to go through bc because of my own Karma.  Maybe I said something, or thought something, or had a certain opinion of someone that landed me in bc land...sick, bald, pissed off & scared to death, with a new fear that will never fully disappear.  There are few things more humbling in this life than bein a bit of a vain girl one moment, & then bald the next, with at least 2 solid years of hating the reflection you see in the mirror. 

I'm not bloggin on this topic with anyone in particular in mind. I put this out there just as much of a reminder to myself. 

Who in the hell d'you think you are...

Hey, Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?

It must be the time of year...I find myself reassessing things quite a bit at the beginning of a new year. And the farther out I get from havin gone through the bc bs, I find myself questioning more & more things...our work, our living situation, our family situation, our social situations & other situations... Do I really like how things are? How things are going? Am I willing to put in the work required to stay on the current path? I go over & over this stuff from time to time, yet, we're still here, in the same place, still tryin to catch that big break.

We get on a bit of a rant about tryin to catch that big break from time to time.  I know I was all goin off, havin my own "Bruce Almighty" kind of moment the other day.  Cause here we are, year after year, producin really great, entertaining video / TV work.  Produced 5 movies aimed at helpin people & savin lives.  The majority of the work we do is to help charities & non-profits raise funds to HELP people.  And I may be biased, but I def believe that O really is the best kept secret in the world of media.  And can we catch a break? Can we get discovered? Nooooooo, God (or Goddess, or the Higher Power, or Powers That Be, or whatEVER you wanna call it) is too busy givin fuckin SNOOKIE every thing she wants! GAWD!  *ahem* /rant.

Anyway...doesn't there come a time when you have to decide that, maybe it's just plain ol not gonna happen if we stay the current course? Maybe this isn't the right place. Or maybe it's just not our time yet. Aren't we always right where we're supposed to be? Maybe a major change is needed. And then I ran across this statement online somewhere. It said:

"Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, know what's even scarier? Regret."

And I was all like, WOW. And I just haven't been able to get that thought outta my head. Eh, kinda heavy for me, I know, but this is where my head's been lately. It's really hard to know the right thing to do, especially when you're thinkin of makin big time, major, major life changes.

And so I think it's easy to get caught up in feelin that "the grass is always greener...." ya know? But, maybe everything is pretty damn great & I'm just too wrapped up in my own bullshit. So, I'm gonna share with you some very wise words a very good & dear friend said to me...or typed to me. And I quote her with her permission. She said:

"The grass might be greener elsewhere but at least I know my own field, I know where the piles of shit are, I know where the holes are, I know where the creek runs and the where the flowers bloom, and I know the best spots to sit. There's shit in all those other green fields too. It's just in a different location." ~ K.C.P.  (Doncha just love her way with words?!)

And again, I was all like, WOW. No, this doesn't answer all the questions I'm goin round & round with, but it sure did hit the nail right on the head for me on some stuff.

And I really do think we are due for that big break....