But How Do You Thank Someone....

Photo Credit: DoctorsDay.org

It isn't easy, but I'll try. 

Today is National Doctors' Day. I wish I could personally thank my entire oncology team and all my doctors. Not just today, but every day. My doctors are basically Rock Stars to me.

So Thank You Dr V! Thank You Dr W! Thank You Dr L! Thank You Dr C! Thank You Dr D!

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!!   Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! 
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!!   

With Love,
~K

Blurred Lines

So here's a little "We need to know this WHY??" kind of post. But here goes...

I have not been to an eye doctor in quite a long time. A long, long time. Well before my diagnosis in 2009. I know that's not very smart. I know that it's very irresponsible of me. I have a fear of the eye doctor. All doctors. Someone mentioned that breast cancer can metastasize to the eye. It's rare, but can happen. I dunno if it's true or not. It probably is. And no, I don't want to hear your story about your friend/sister/cousin/aunt who had it happen to her. Sorry to be harsh, but no. And please don't comment or email me a list of symptoms to look for...cause then I will surely have every single damn one of them. Remember, I AM the Master of Psychosomatics. Ok? So just don't.

Anyway, reading small print has been getting increasingly difficult. But I have had success with just holding the thing I'm reading as far away from my eyes as possible, bringing the print back into focus. But the thing is, it appears that my arms just aren't long enough anymore. Great. All I can see are blurry lines.

Being afraid of the eye doctor, but tired of misreading stuff, I figure I'll just pop on over to the drug store and grab myself a pair of reading glasses. I found a nice kiosk that has a little "eye test" of sorts where you look through this thing and turn a dial, and the lowest setting you can read the print is the strength of readers you should use. Lucky me, I only need the weakest ones, the 1.00's.

I tried them out all around the store! Hey! I can totally read anything now! Yay! I get them home and text O, who is out on a shoot. He asked me to text him a pic of me wearing them so he can see. So I grabbed the phone, put on the glasses, made a goofy face and took the picture and sent it. He texts back that I look like "Alex from Orange Is The New Black".

I dunno so much about that, but I do love Laura Prepon, who plays Alex Vause on OITNB. Loved her on "That 70s Show" too. I think she's very attractive. So I definitely took it as a compliment. 

And I think O needs to get his eyes checked too. LOL!

I dunno...

Fall On Your Knees...

I did. I totally did. And it hurt.

A couple of weeks ago, it had been a cold, rainy, just dreary day. We were expecting sleet and snow. And the sleet was just starting, the sun was setting, and our stupid recycling bin was still out on the curb. So, I decided I'd just trot out there real quick and grab it and put it back in the garage. Easy peasy.

So I slide on these ballet flat shoes and head out into the ran/sleet mixture. O says "Don't run!" I like running and jogging, like across the parking lot, or up the stairs in an auditorium. It makes me feel good and boosts my confidence in my health. Sick people don't run, or jog, or trot. Right? So, whenever I get the chance, I trot, at the very least.

But anyway, I give him the ol "pssh, whatever" and proceed to run down our curved driveway. And then it happened. My right ankle twisted and the slick bottomed ballet flat shoes slipped right out from under me.  

My knees hit the pavement first, followed by the bottom of my hands, right above the wrists. Which hurt like a bitch. And why the fuck does everything hurt so much more when you're freezing fucking cold? Anyway, from there, realizing that my wrists weren't even gonna stop the momentum, I just balled up and ended up doing a perfect barrel roll down the driveway. At which point, without missing a beat, I jumped right up, did a fast walk to the recycling bin, retrieved it, and fast walked it back to the garage where O was standing there, shaking his head. "I told you not to run!" he says... "Oh shut up you!"

It happened so fast. Like, not even 2 seconds. But as it was happening, it seemed like it was in slow motion. And I just KNEW every single damn neighbor just so happened to be looking out of their windows and laughing their asses off. 

Oh good lord it was embarrassing. The only thing missing were the neighbors holding up score cards. Suzie Q gives the maneuver an 8.4, John Q a 7.6, Billy Bob a 9.5...

My hands didn't suffer any damage, but my knees were scraped to shit. Hello peroxide and Neosporin. And a big goddamn bandage on both knees. Only after the bandages were on did I realize I would soon, very soon, regret the fact that I just don't care to shave my legs in the winter. (TMI. Oh well. lol!)

2 weeks later, still ouchy

Here we are, two weeks later and my knees still hurt like a sonofabitch if I have to get down on one, like to tie a shoe. I had occasion to have to sit on a hard floor the other day. No biggie, until I put my left knee down to get up. Nope. That was a baaaaaad idea. 

But in a positive light, having osteopenia, I feel like this was a good test of my bones. Didn't break anything. Only injured my pride.

Livin la vida Luna... LOLOLOL!

Our tiny snowman with holly berry eyes =)

All Your Money Won't Another Minute Buy...

 A rambling musing here. And I dunno if my thoughts on this are popular or unpopular, and I guess I might lose a subscriber or three, but here we go.

We've all heard something along these lines:

"They (whoever 'they' are) HAVE the cure for (breast) cancer, but won't put it out there cause there's just too much money being made in the cancer business..."

Right?

Yeah. I'm guilty of saying that, too.  But that was the "bc" Luna. "Before cancer" Luna. For years before I entered cancerland, I, and very indignantly too, bought into that line of thinking. I even boldly said as much right to my oncologists face. And his response was certain, matter of fact, and immediate. Not even a pause. He's heard that for years. He doesn't believe it's true. He HOPES the cure is finally discovered. He won't mind practicing in another area of medicine. Or sticking around and happily prescribing "the cure" to any and all. 

Steve Jobs Photo Credit: ABC News

And if you really, really think about it, if there was a real cure, doesn't everyone have a price? How many famous, rich and super wealthy people have died from cancer? Not just talking about breast cancer, but just fuckin' cancer! Really, if it was curable, wouldn't Farrah Fawcett still be alive? Or Patrick Swayze? Elizabeth Edwards? Linda McCartney? 
Steve Jobs??!! All the money that guy had, all the fame, all that genius...could he not have secretly bought this cure for himself and still be with us today, cranking out the latest and greatest in technology? I bet he was one that could keep a secret. 

And wouldn't the cure for cancer be expensive enough, that "they" could continue to make their big, big money off of it? 

Or, another way to think about it....Whoever DOES bring the cure for cancer is gonna be one rich, rich, uber famous mofo person. A bonafide hero, really.  Who wouldn't want to go down in history as the person/company/entity that cured fucking cancer? 

Eh, just some rambling thoughts running around my head, as I'm reading things here, hearing things there. 

No. In my opinion, there is no secret cure that's being kept from us. Especially for breast cancer, at least. I think breast cancer is just so complex, so many different diseases, that we just aren't there yet. We're getting closer, that much is evident. But still no cure. 

Damnit!