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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Bad Medicine

And I ain't talkin bout yer love either. But what I AM talkin bout is the fact that I am now officially DONE with taking Tamoxifen.  My bc was ER- / PR WEAKLY + at only 9%.  Pretty sure the HER2+ was the thing with mine.  I took the Tamoxifen for just over 2 years. (Normal course of treatment with Tamoxifen is 5 years.) In the last several months it has made me a complete basket case, paranoid freak. (Ok, more so than I already am.) And it also was affecting other stuff too, physically, not just makin me totally fucked up in the head. (Again, even more I mean, I was havin all kinds of weirdo symptoms "count em 1 - 2 - 3" ...*throws the "horns" in the air, bangs head & slings hair around*  

I'm also pretty sure that my Onc, Dr W, now dreads havin to deal with me after the way the last appointment went.  But in that last appointment he made "an executive decision" to have me stop the Tamoxifen for 30 days & then check back in with him.  So I did, & Dr W, through his nurse B, said it was OK for me to stop the Tamoxifen permanently.  I realize that it will probably take a bit longer for all the Tamoxifen to get out of my system, but I can definitely tell I'm more my old self lately. 
So that's it.  O & I decided to celebrate.  Went to my favorite steak joint, but they've changed the way they prepare the steaks, so it is no longer my favorite steak place.  O had a lovely chicken fried steak that was very good.  My little sirloin? NotSoMuch.  But O & I split a wonderful Grey Goose martini ("shake it up..." lol) & toasted to the official end of all treatments & gettin on with life....& the fact that Halloween is in just a few days!!!

Can ya tell we love Halloween? 



Paula said...

I took it for the entire five years and was a crazy person for most of the time. I wasn't paranoid but I don't think I slept for 5 years. LOL I was either painting houses, tending bar or hanging in the bar. But I don't know that I had any physical issues. It messed with my brain I think. Or it was just the fact that I had cancer and nobody seemed to care. I can remember when my Dr. said it was okay to take some hormones, I think that was after 7 years. So I did and I cried all the time and was so insecure and paranoid that I had to quit. I thought that was weird. Tried again a few years later and same thing happened. So I gave up that idea.

LunaTechChick said...

Hi Paula! Yeah, I'm kinda pissed off that I couldn't complete the 5 years, but these last several months have been terrible. I was doin much better livin the "new normal" a year ago...just kept gettin worse & worse. And I think my Onc would like me to find someone else. The last appt was just awful. He prob has to take Xanax when he sees me on his book. Thanks so much for readin & commenting. xx