Ten Years Have Got Behind You....

I have officially been NED for 10 years now.  (As far as anyone can tell.)  It went pretty quickly, and super slowly, all at the same time.

It is the only cancer related date I celebrate. I acknowledge them all, but only this one has me raise a glass anymore. And it's always a nice martini.

I always want to give a big shout out and send much love to all who participated in my care and treatment. Big, big love to you 
Dr. V, Dr. W, Dr. L, Dr. D, and all the wonderful day surgery nurses whose names I don't know, and especially my friend and chemo nurse, Ms. C, and also my ob/gyn nurse and long time friend Ms. F!

I'm also so thankful to the friends, both in real life friends, and those online friends I most likely will never meet in person. Y'all know who you are. Huge hugs from us in Georgia to you all.

And of course, my love, my O, and my mom..... All my family. Y'all know how I feel for y'all. Super lucky to have all of you. 

Grateful doesn't come close to describing the emotions when I look back on these past 10 years. Grateful, but also, still grappling with "the fear". That insidious asshole that lives constantly in the back of my mind. And I'm working on some fresh words about that, so that, especially right now, is a topic for another post.

So, join me, won't you, in raising a glass to NED, what I like to call "cancer-freeness", and also let's raise a finger to cancer.

Thought I'd something more to say...... But I don't. Here I am on the anniversary of the cancer-freeness on June 23.

In case y'all were wondering what 10 years of cancer free-ness looks like.
July 23, 2019

Breathe With Me....

So, I tried something a little different for this round of visits to all the doctors.  I didn't come on this blog, or even social media, all whining & lamenting ad nauseam for days and days about each and every single one of my appointments this time around.  No, rather, I blogged that they were looming ever closer a time or two, and left it at that.  But now that I've seen all the docs, and had the dreaded mammogram, I'm here to say that we lived through it...I'm still married...(LOL), and I'm still in the clear.  

NOW I can celebrate the gratitude for still being here, five years out.  And we do know, again, five years doesn't mean much for bc, but it's still pretty damn huge.  Especially for the kind of bc bs I had.

And, another something a little different. Although this last appointment yesterday with the always excellent Dr W was the last to officially "graduate" me to ANNUAL appointments, from six month appointments, my oncology team and I would still like for an oncology minded doctor to put his eyes (and hands) on me, at least every six months.  How can this work?  Well, Dr W said that he has no problem with a slingshot into 2016...as in, I will not see him again until March, 2016.  Then it will be him annually in March, and Dr V / mammo annually in September.  

Ok, let's back up to the beginning.  It started with the mammogram.  I was a little extra nervous this time because, exactly one week prior, I noticed a firm, round, lump thingy in my chest, on the bc side, about an inch and a half below my collar bone.  And I just KNEW it was a bad lymph node.  Just knew it! So I asked the mammo tech to feel it.  She wasn't impressed with it at all.  And this diagnostic mammo was fine and I was told I can now move to "regular annual screening" mammos, if the ordering physician agrees.  

So the next day was the visit with the most excellent surgeon, the "ordering physician" Dr V. I put his hand on this newly found round thingy.  He wasn't impressed with it either.  I asked about having an ultrasound on it. He was happy to order it, but felt nothing was even going to show up. Said it may very well just plain simple be my body.  So I agreed....he IS the boss of this stuff anyway.... If it changes or grows at all, call and we'll check it out further. So that was that, and I decided to try not to worry with it anymore. 

Next up was the annual physical with Dr C.  He gets to be the "scary doctor" this time, cause he's in charge of running the blood work that the oncologist, Dr W, will look at to determine my future.  Had a nice visit.  I decided to have Dr C also put his hand on the little round lump thingy.  He totally dismissed it as a possible "nothing lump thing", like a "subcutaneous round cyst lump of nothing", or something along those lines.  So, at this point, I'm not concerning myself with it anymore.  Unless it gets bigger.  So I'm trying to stop touching it constantly.  Maybe just check it monthly, like I'm supposed to be checking my boobs.   And the blood work came in with perfect results, as usual. Oh, and O told me so. LOL! ;)

Anyway, back to yesterday's appointment...it was probably the most lovely visit I've ever had with Dr W, second only the the very first visit we had with him way back in 2009.  And at the end he gave me the most nicest, sincere hug.  And I left floating out the door on Cloud 9. 

And then O took me out to the nearby Cheesecake Factory for a lovely lunch and my annual, celebratory, and very over priced Grey Goose Martini with Bleu Cheese Olive.  And it was Awesomeness.  (I know, I know...do as I say, not as I do, y'all! LOL!)

And that wraps this year's tour of oncology appointments.  I'm in the clear, still dancin with NED for another year. 

Exhale!
Exhale!
Exhale!

Bad Medicine

And I ain't talkin bout yer love either. But what I AM talkin bout is the fact that I am now officially DONE with taking Tamoxifen.  My bc was ER- / PR WEAKLY + at only 9%.  Pretty sure the HER2+ was the thing with mine.  I took the Tamoxifen for just over 2 years. (Normal course of treatment with Tamoxifen is 5 years.) In the last several months it has made me a complete basket case, paranoid freak. (Ok, more so than I already am.) And it also was affecting other stuff too, physically, not just makin me totally fucked up in the head. (Again, even more so...lol) I mean, I was havin all kinds of weirdo symptoms "count em 1 - 2 - 3" ...*throws the "horns" in the air, bangs head & slings hair around*  

I'm also pretty sure that my Onc, Dr W, now dreads havin to deal with me after the way the last appointment went.  But in that last appointment he made "an executive decision" to have me stop the Tamoxifen for 30 days & then check back in with him.  So I did, & Dr W, through his nurse B, said it was OK for me to stop the Tamoxifen permanently.  I realize that it will probably take a bit longer for all the Tamoxifen to get out of my system, but I can definitely tell I'm more my old self lately. 

 

So that's it.  O & I decided to celebrate.  Went to my favorite steak joint, but they've changed the way they prepare the steaks, so it is no longer my favorite steak place.  O had a lovely chicken fried steak that was very good.  My little sirloin? NotSoMuch.  But O & I split a wonderful Grey Goose martini ("shake it up..." lol) & toasted to the official end of all treatments & gettin on with life....& the fact that Halloween is in just a few days!!!

Can ya tell we love Halloween? 

YAY!

Hot & Cold

So, we have a new fave Hot Sauce around here.  Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce.  I like to call it "Rooster Sauce".  Last weekend O & I had a fun "Sushi Sunday" at our favorite mall, Northpark. Sushi Sunday is when you pop up to the mall, run in the Kona Grill, grab a few sushi rolls & then catch a movie at the mall's nice theater.  So we usually order: Crab Crunch, Philadelphia Roll & California Roll.  The waiter told us we should try this hot sauce with our sushi.  And he also brought extra Eel Sauce.  But anyway....I'm like, "Eh...whatever" when it comes to California Roll.  You know...like it's not really "all that".  Until you put Rooster Sauce on it.  HFS!  And then the waiter is all tellin us all the different ways he uses it.  And since then, we got some & O is putting it on EVERYTHING.  (Great on a burger & to dip fries in, BTW.)
I'm going to attempt a recipe for deviled eggs with it.  Check THIS out:
Kalyn's Sriracha Deviled Eggs   Perfect for Easter weekend, right!  Also was told that if you mix it with ketchup, it's great to give some kick to a hot dog.  Mmmmmmm! If it's HOT & spicy.  We like it.

And we also like some cold stuff too.  Especially if you've had a "Monday" kinda Monday...or a "Monday" kinda Wednesday....or a "Monday" kinda *insert day/time/event here*  The cure for the "Monday's"?  Sometimes nothin but a nice martini will do! I shake up one awesome tastin Vodka Martini.  I like mine just slightly dirty...O likes his "regular" dirty.  Just grab those martini glasses outta the freezer, shake up some of the "good" vodka (I prefer Grey Goose), & chill the eff out. Ya know what I always say: "It's 5 o'clock somewhere!"

Enjoying a nice 3 day weekend around here.  And hopin next week doesn't have too many "Mondays".  Know what I mean?  And there are things going on, that I just cannot blog about right now.  But suffice it to say, we're all Hot & Cold about all of it.