Another Year Over...

And a new one just begun....

Farewell 2014!

I'm not sure why I felt so strongly about doing a post as we see 2014 end and 2015 begin. I'm really not.  For O and me, this year has just been, well... Nothing really excellent, but nothing really terrible either. In breastcancerland, that would translate to a most excellent year, actually. There was almost a major life change, which would have ticked off my biggest bucket list item, (another post for another time) but it wasn't meant to be.

This year was quite eventful though, with so many memorable moments.  We lost so many (too many) beloved entertainers, had heartbreaking airline disasters, and the whole Ebola thing. But we also saw the world dancing to "Happy" and the Ice Bucket Challenge sweep the interwebs, to name just a (tiny) few.

When I look back on my year, I guess I'm just grateful that my health situation remains "No Evidence of Disease" as far as the docs can tell. I have been NED for 5 1/2 years, and this is my 6th New Year's since being diagnosed. I am so grateful to still be here, apparently healthy. So my word of the year, as it has been the last 5, is still "grateful".

Not really doing any resolutions again this year. Maybe just be hopeful that we move closer and faster to the cure...to prevention...so no one has to be part of that 30%.

Really, more than anything, I think I  just wanted to take a moment, before 2014 draws to a close, to say Thank You for reading and keeping up with us here. Thank you for caring.  Thank you for your continued support, words of encouragement, comments and conversation.

I have high hopes for 2015. Not just for myself, but for all who have had to live with or had their lives touched by cancer.

So, thanks again...and see you next year!

But I Still Love Technology...

I have a real love / hate relationship with technology.  There are so many things I love about it, like the invention of social media.  It really is a bridge across the miles for me.  Especially Video Conferencing things like Skype & FaceTime. Love love love that.  

As much as I love the things we can now see and do with Technology, like, not having to be chained to a desk eight hours a day to get work done, there are things I seriously dislike.  Among those....texting.  Well, I guess that's a love / hate thing too...I do like to send a quick text, when, back in the day, I would have had to pick up the phone, make a call and possibly lose 15 -30 minutes, when all I really need is a Yes or No answer to a question.  And I also enjoy texting over phone convo most times, depending on the person or timing.  But then, by using Text, we are missing out on HUMAN contact. I adore human contact. It's definitely on the decline.  I miss it.  

One thing that's more than a bit annoying (and yes, I have done this too, but have, in the last year or so, tried hard to not do this) is when people are actively texting with someone else, just type-type-typing away, and simultaneously attempting to have a conversation with you, like, right there in front of you. I'm not talking about a quick "Yes" or "No" text reply to someone. Or even responding to an urgent text...but at least say something like "Hang on, I need to reply to this really quick..."  I don't mind waiting. I really don't. (And if you catch me doing this, please say something, cause I don't want to be that person, ya know?)

A glaring downside of Technology is this: we are approaching a state of accepting "just good enough" over excellence in certain areas.  An example: video production....video footage and video projects just (apparently) don't have to look good anymore.  Increasingly, so many people just simply can't tell the difference between a professional final product - one shot and edited by a passionate, talented producer, over amateur work. So "good enough" is winning out, and it's probably more to do with financial issues than desire for talent. And this is all I'm going to say on this topic.  That is a much bigger rant for another time.

I must admit though, Technology has  been especially helpful to me since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. While I do appreciate having lived and very well remember a time before the internet and mobile phones, I am crazy-thankful to have had access to Technology and Social Media outlets during that devastating time in 2009.  Because of Technology and Social Media, I was able to reach out to others who have gone through breast cancer, ask questions, get advice, bounce ideas, and cry on their cyber shoulders.  I have "met" so many amazing people online, some I now consider to be among my closest and dearest friends. And not just breast cancer people. I believe we come across people and connect with some in the online world for a reason.  Pretty sure I may never meet these dear ones in person, but I am so thankful for every single one of them.  

And Technology in medicine. While there is still so far we have yet to go to find a cure for breast cancer and ALL cancer, I'm alive today because of one medication, Herceptin, that wasn't yet FDA approved as recently as even 20 years ago. I also benefited from newish techniques in locating the tumor, and in administering radiation, I'm told. And probably so many more areas that I'm not aware of. Oh, and more cancer vaccines are beginning to appear on the horizon, and better treatments through immunotherapy too. So YAY Technology! 

This blog.  Another positive I owe to Technology.  This blog started out as a way for me to market things I was selling online.  And it fell off after diagnosis.  Then I started a CarePage. And then moved all that content over to here.  I needed a way to keep family and friends apprised of my status as I went through surgeries, chemo, radiation, Herceptin, hair loss, hair growth, and just stuff. And now, it's a place for me to rant, vent, muse, and ramble...

Yeah, I'm rambling now....Anyway, love it or hate it, Technology keeps on moving, changing, evolving. 

I love it.  And I hate it. 

I'm Super! Thanks For Asking!

How many times, when you ask someone how they're doing, do you really want to know how they are doing? Do you ask cause you really want to know, or is it just part of your greeting? And when people say they're doing fine/great/super, do you think they really are doing fine/great/super, or is their reply just an automatic response to a greeting?  

I used to do breast cancer so much differently.  In 2009, once I was able to stop crying and pull my shit together after getting the diagnosis, I had made up my mind that I was "tougher and WAY cooler than any stupid infiltrating ductal carcinoma", stage 3a.  And I put on my pink stuff and told any and everybody who would listen that I "HAD bc.  Past tense".  And that I have "already beaten it, cause my scans are clear!"

Oh how naive.  How naive and how unprepared I was.  

And for a couple of years, when someone would see me out and about, they would ask "How are you doing? How are you feeling?"  And regardless of how I was actually doing or feeling at the time, I would chirp "I'm GREAT! I'm kickin cancer's ass!" *Hug* "Thanks for asking! How are YOU?" And then sometimes the convo would go on about what was going on treatment wise, which I would riddle with jokes and sarcastic comments, sort of giving the finger to bc.  I tried to be as humorous as possible and appear to be the most courageous, bad ass, cancer ass kicker anyone had ever seen.  

*Insert eyeball roll here*

At least half of the time back then, if I had answered truthfully, I would have said that I was really terrified of the surgeries pending.  Or that I was totally upset that I'm bald.  And it wasn't until active treatment ended that it occurred to me that, bc people are never, ever really out of the woods. And I spent a good 2 years in a state of complete panic over the possibility of recurrence, or mets.  So during that time, if I had been honest, I would have expressed those thoughts, rather than "I'm great! *Insert # of years* cancer free (?!) and still kickin!"

*Insert eyeball roll here*

Why did I do this?

Because I didn't (still don't) think some people want to hear the horror story that is the new normal for a bc person.  And I'm pretty sure that if I had been 100% honest with everyone, all the time, some people would probably stop asking about how I am. Maybe even go the other way when they see me coming... 

I think it's because it makes people sad, or fearful when they hear someone with bc not doing the whole Pink *Rah Rah, I'm a Warrior! I Fight Like A Girl! I kick cancer's ass!*  stuff and then they just think that you're not doing it right.  You're supposed to be wearing a pink tutu and boa and shouting "C'mon cancer! Bring it on! I got this!"  

Whatever.  I can't do that shit anymore.  Haven't been able to in awhile.  

And here's another reason why...Honestly, some people don't know me well enough for me to have even wanted to be all full disclosure with them. But I no longer "chirp" the pink party line.  Just can't do it. 

So if I do say "I'm SUPER! Thanks for asking!", I actually mean it. 

"Don't you think I look cute in this hat?"

The Beautiful People

When a celebrity gets breast cancer....

Some celebs, who go through treatment in the public eye, make it look so easy... Which is easier to do with a team of stylists, perfect lighting, the money and the stuff that money can buy (personal trainers, chefs, etc)... Just wanted to put my thoughts about that out there.

I've been thinking about this topic for awhile.  Every time a celebrity gets bc, and then goes public about it, it brings lots of attention and opinion. I remember back when the whole Angelina Jolie thing broke.  I said my piece about it on my Facebook page and was totally flamed by other bc people, trying to educate me. Some didn't even appear to realize that I'm a bc person myself.  So it is with great trepidation that I dare to go there again...

But here I go.

This popped up in my news feed this week.

It's attached to an article from AARP.

For whatever reason, these two are now gonna teach us all lessons in beating cancer, and even curing or preventing it??  Really? They are now, not just singers, but also medical doctors?  

Looking at the above picture, I see their first couple of comments seem to contradict each other.... SC says "You don't say 'I did this, and that's why I got cancer'..." while ME says "This was of my own doing, and I take responsibility..." 

Well, which is it?

And this business of turning on or off your BRCA gene mutation....WHAT????? Genes can be turned on and off? Like a light switch? Or an organic veggie grinding smoothie machine? 

And making sure you remain in a Zen-state will keep cancer from cropping up or coming back? Really?

"And if "beating it" were as simple as only eating organic, consuming tons of kale and blueberries, chowing down on lentils while burning patchouli incense and singing "Kum Ba Yah" around a fire pit, then surely info on this would take bc treatment more that way, oncologists would prescribe it & proclaim the elusive cure has been found, and no more with the "slash / poison / burn" treatment.  Ya know?" ~LunaTechChick

And yes, early detection is essential, but it's not a cure. Yes, a mammogram can find cancer, but it can also find other, weirdo, non life threatening things in there, too...and the mammo itself isn't what saved your life, if you actually DO beat bc...which leads back to the whole 30% discussion...

Near the end of the article, they say their bc was "a gift".  I know some others who feel that way too.  I am not one of those people.  I'm still so damn pissed off that it happened to me in the first place. And that's another rant for another time....

What's not shown on the the photo, but is talked about in the article is the fact that they both did use some tried and true MEDICAL TREATMENTS.  Surgery, ME did chemo.  THAT is what helped y'all "beat cancer".  If...

Anyway...my two cents....celebrities' voices are powerful.  Their words and actions carry so much weight with their fans. I think they have a responsibility to be careful how they "do" their cancer when they do it in the public eye. It just bothers me when, a celebrity cancer person starts speaking publicly like they are some sort of medical professional, or are now the expert on cancer prevention/treatment/cure.  

Y'all are singers, actors, and entertainers.  Not medical doctors.  What works and is right for you is not necessarily right for someone else.