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Thursday, March 14, 2013

She's Got Style, She's Got Grace...

Yeah.  I've got neither of those.  Especially the grace part.  I've heard it said about me though.  Something along the lines of "She has handled her bc diagnosis & treatment with such grace."  Who, ME?  Grace?  Nope.  Fraid not.  I'm the LEAST graceful person to have to deal with this bc bs.  Seriously.  I was all weepy for WEEKS about losin my hair.  I cried more over that than over the cancer itself.  And I'm all upset & a bundle of nerves for days before an oncolgy type of appointment.  Here's a recent example...guess who was supposed to have the labs drawn today for next week's appointment with Dr W, but rescheduled for tomorrow, cause I'm just too fucked up in the head to deal with it today?  Yep, this chick right here.  But, in my own defense, the appointment is kinda far away & I do have an appointment already in that part of town for tomorrow, so it's kinda good to not have to make the 45 minute trip over there 2 days in a row.  Right?  Poor new lady at Dr W's...had to just go ahead & tell her "They don't call me HMO (High Maintenance Oliver) for nuttin!" LOL!

She's got style, she's got grace, she's a WINNER.
You know who's got real grace in the face of scary cancer stuff?  Valerie Harper.  What she's dealin with?  OMG I'd be absolutely paralyzed with fear.  Now, even as I near the 4 year mark, just dealin with bc, I'm crippled by fear at the very least.  But I love what I heard VH say in an interview this week.  She said: "Don’t go to the funeral before the day of the funeral. While you’re living, live...Live this day."

I totally get that. Just wish I could live it.  Ya know?  Some days I do.  Some days I don't.  Some days I can't.  Some days are def better than others. 

Anyway, if I'm lucky enough to make it to Valerie Harper's age (I believe she said she was in her 70's) I'll consider myself a winner over bc. 

Whoa whoa whoa...

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