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Thursday, August 22, 2013

They're Coming To Take Me Away....

Just a bit of a rambling musing here.  

Is having breast cancer a one way ticket to the funny farm where basket weavers sit & smile & twiddle their thumbs & toes...??  If I were to ask O that, he'd say, "For YOU it is." Ahhhh well......

My medical team is really great.  I love all of 'em.  And I really do appreciate that Dr W has talked with me about & is looking into ways to help the fact that yes, we know what to do with a patient that has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  But, he admits, that's where his expertise ends...that after treatment is complete, they really don't know what else they can do for us & our altered outlook & the psychological issues that remain, even after the cancer is gone. I love that my docs want to try to do more to help in the aftermath, and that more & more doctors are looking into what can be done to help us progress after treatment is completed.

Most of us who've had bc are left with post traumatic stress disorder.  (Probably all of us) Some worse than others.  So we really do need to look at how to help the psychological damage that is left after the physical damage is done & handled. 

I just wonder if there's really anything that can be done for our mental state after going through bc....  Just because of the very nature of bc....I mean, if we could just do our treatments & then have a doctor say to us, "That's it! All better! You'll never have to deal with this again!", there wouldn't be so many of us fucked up in the head now & possibly forever more.  Right?  But no responsible doctor can (should) say that.  Not even to someone with the teeniest, tiniest stage I bc. Just ask anyone living with stage IV bc. You'll be surprised how many of them were "cancer free & it's all behind you now" for years.  And so, now we have "the fear"

Anyway....I'm getting better at dealing with "the fear", the farther out I get. (I think) But damn those appointments for the mammo & the Oncologist & Surgeon are still just so so so so so nerve wracking.  I don't suspect that part is gonna change any time soon. I always apologize to my docs for being such a damn freak when I come in to see them, but they all assure me that it's totally natural & normal to still feel freaked out & stuff.  

I'm glad that doctors are starting to look at & acknowledge that we are psychologically jacked up after bc & are looking for ways to help us with that.

You know what would really help?  A fuckin cure. 

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