From A Distance

Just a brief batch of fresh words during a very sad and scary time for us all.  Please, everyone, heed the advice and recommendations to stay at home if you possibly can.  

I hope all of you are well.  I will admit, I am scared.  I am hyper-aware of how I'm feeling, breathing, throat, lungs... Y'all know how I am.  I think there is still so much not known about this thing.

There are so many Social Distancing Guidelines and Shelter In Place Orders that I expect will continue longer than these initial orders.  I wonder how long before things will go back to normal.  If ever.  I've wondered this before, of course.  But this is not just me.  This is all of us.  

I just wanted to share some thoughts on how this COVID-19 is making me feel.  And I just wanted to tell y'all, friends and family near and far... I'm thinking about you and sending love to you all...

From a distance. 

Tybee Sunset - Kimberly Oliver - Copyright 2020©

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Please.

COVID-19.  Coronavirus.  Everyone has been asked to exercise social distancing.  We are going to do our best.  We've already shopped for groceries, refilled our prescriptions.  This is a frightening thing that is happening.  So many people refuse to believe this is real.  I'm seeing far too many political conspiracy theories all over social media. 

This isn't just the flu.  And many young and healthy people still feel that it's perfectly fine to congregate in large groups.  This makes things all the more unnerving.  Because young, healthy people are spreading this virus without knowing it.  Any asymptomatic carrier could.  They could spread it to someone with an underlying health condition, and that person could become severely ill, or even die.  Thankfully, many will recover.  Some will recover, but have lasting and devastating side effects.  But many will not.  That's just a fact.  It is now being reported that more younger people are showing more serious illness.  

(I have hypertension.  One of the first listed underlying health conditions that has caused severe illness in some who get infected by the virus.  I also take thyroid medication.  Not sure my cancer treatment would even play a role, at 11 years out.  But I don't really know for sure.)

So, social distancing / self quarantine for us...  O and I have been together 23 years, and have worked together for 20 of those years, and a significant part of the work we've done and still do is done at home.  It's like we're already used to it.  I feel very lucky and so thankful that, even with all those years of so much togetherness, we still enjoy each other's company.  If I MUST be quarantined, I am glad it's with him.  However, our Anniversary next week will not involve the typical nice dinner and drinks out in a nice, fun restaurant.  And O's birthday the week after that, will very likely be different too.  And it's ok.  We do what we must to help bring this to an end and protect ourselves and others.

It's not fake news.  It's not an attempt to undermine the government or to have an effect on any political party.  This virus is very real and can be deadly.  It does not discriminate.  It doesn't give a shit which political party you belong to.  And our healthcare system is simply not equipped to handle what I fear will be happening in our hospitals in the very near future.  The confirmed cases are growing exponentially.  As of right now, there are over 8,500 confirmed cases in the US right now.  There were less than 100 at the end of February. 

Stay home.  Cover your cough and sneezes.  Wash your hands.  

I have started and deleted this post so many times.  Every facet of this thing feels like opening a big ol can of worms, inviting debate, and I can't cover all sides of every impact.  I simply am affected by it and scared of it. It is unprecedented, and I want to have a post on my blog about it.  

Let's all do our best to stay home.  Just stay home.  Yes, some can't work from home.  I am grateful to those who must continue to work and hope they are able to protect themselves from those of us who must come to their store or business for food and other needed things.  And of course our healthcare professionals and emergency responders on the front line of this thing, ready to care of us.  I also worry about the impact on our economy and all of those who will surely be out of work and those who may lose jobs and the businesses that are in jeopardy of having to close.  The whole thing is just bad all the way around.  

We have been asked that, if you must go into a public place, keep a 6 foot distance from other people.  SIX FEET y'all.  So, please don't be 2 inches behind me in a checkout line.  This has been an issue I've had a problem with looooong before this virus came along.  There is such a thing as personal space.  I will respect yours.  Please respect everyone's space and allow that six feet.

Ok, so sorry to be so ranty.  I did have to go inside a store on Friday, so I am still counting my 14 days since my last exposure to being too close to others. 

March 2020

So, if ya see me in line somewhere, be it in the next week, next month, next year into forever...

Please don't stand so close to me.  







*Note:  Please do not enter into debate with me in the comments.  This is MY blog and I can vent, rant and say whatever I want.  

Things Fall Apart...

 It's scientific.

My 50th year is going by too, too fast.

You'll never, ever hear me complain about getting older.  I've said it many times before, getting old is a privilege denied to many.  However, the EFFECTS of aging?  I will definitely complain.  Often.  Loudly. 

December 2019

First, I am getting jowly.  The jowls are apparent.  Which leads me to my second complaint:  Gravity.  Fuck you, gravity.  Pulling those jowls and other parts earthward.  Which leads me to my third complaint:  Difficulty losing weight.  I lost about 21 pounds in 2007, only to be told in 2009 that my chemo might cause me to gain up to 30 pounds.  I was all like, fuck that!  I ate my usual strict South Beach diet all through chemo.  Gained a little weight.  But not a whole bunch.  And promptly took it right back off.  And now, I've been not so strict in my diet, especially since moving home to Georgia.  Hey, what can I say, #hushpuppieshappen, right?  And cheese grits.  And fried seafood.  Anyway, thanks to the slower metabolism, and that asshole gravity, even if I DO take off this excess weight, my favorite jeans most likely still will not fit me well again because stuff isn't where it once was.  Ya know?

Damn!

Anyway, yeah, lots more gray hairs, and this crazy deep wrinkle between my eyebrows, as well as my inability to read my phone without readers reminds me that I am SO lucky to still be here, as I approach my 11th year, post diagnosis. 

So, yeah.  I'll be 51 in June, and 11 years out.  And I'm still very much afraid of the cancer coming back.  That's not going to change, as Shannen Doherty reminded us today.  As if we needed reminding. So sad for her.  For us all, really.

So, yeah.  This one's short, but it's part of what's been on my mind more and more as I continue to be privileged.  

2020 24 Hours To Go...

November 2019

I wanna be sedated.....  

Seriously.  Thank you cousin S for the lovely Effen Vodka.  Sedation happening in 3 - 2 - 1... Kidding!  (Am I?) 

I wish I could say "nothing to do, nowhere to go" but lately, LTC runs with scissors!! As in, it's been crazy time around here these last couple of weeks.

Anyway....

Goodbye 2019.  Goodbye 20Teens.  

I don't really have a whole lot to say about this past year.  The decade, though, has been all about fucking cancer.  As will the rest of my life, however long or short it will be.  And also moving.  Texas to Savannah to Texas, back to Savannah.  

So yeah, being 10 years out from cancer should make me feel victorious, right?  Wrong.  I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Now, more than ever, is when it might rear it's ugly head.  But then, this has been my thinking since the day after active treatment ended, so...  

I'm glad to say, as I have before... This has been a pretty uneventful year.  As in, no cancer scares, no biopsies....  Pretty ho-hum and I'll take it.  This is a good thing in cancerland.  It has also been chock full of family, fun and food.  My kinda year.

I'd love to be able to report so many things accomplished this year, but I can't.  I did get my Realtor® license though.  And that was pretty awesome, given that I had the discipline to self study online and actually pass the test on the first try.  So there's that.

June 2019 - 50 years old

I also turned 50.  Five Zero.  
The Big Five Oh.  (The other F Word!)  Received my AARP Card even!!  And then promptly prescribed cholesterol medication.  Awesome.  

I'm thankful for so much though.  I am blessed to have my O with me here in Savannah.  And the family.  And to still be NED.  

Just wanted to take a minute to say thanks for hanging out with me here, especially since my posts are getting fewer and fewer.  Maybe in the 2020s that will change.  I really cherish the relationships I have with you all thanks to technology and social media.  

Please join me in raising a glass, and a middle finger to the end of this decade.  May the 2020s be b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶  good to us all.

Also, VOTE.