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Friday, November 12, 2010

Posted Dec 22, 2009 I Touched Myself...

I Touched Myself...

Posted Dec 22, 2009 1:05pm
Yeah, my cousin would get a kick out of the title of this post, but I finally did actually touch, with my bare hand, my surgery sites. Some of you know that I haven't been able to bear touching the left breasticle area due to the fact that it's been totally numb, like dead, since the surgery & it totally grosses me out! Just to bathe in the shower, I take the pouf & quickly scrub under the arm & the boobie which is followed by the sound of me wretching, cause it's soooo icky feeling! Anyway, I am trying to get used to how it feels to touch these parts, cause radiation is about to start, & I'm gonna have to be slathering Aloe Vera Gel on these regions, sooooo, time to be touchin stuff. There is some feeling coming back, but I don't think 100% of the feeling is ever gonna come back, & that is not unusual. And I will totally live with it. No biggie.

I met my Radiation Oncologist, Dr. L, on Friday, after having a follow up appointment with my fabulous surgeon, Dr. V. Both say they think I'm doing really really great! Both did an exam of the affected boobie area. Both said all feels fine. Dr V wanted to order a mammo, but I'm still quite sore over there & told him that if that boob got squashed down in a mammo, that I'd probably faint! So he opted to physically check the boobies for lumpies. None found & he liked the feeling of his scars. Said they feel fine. Ordered a mammo for March. I have zero faith in mammos, as my lump was not detected by the digital mammo. But it's not really being done to look for cancer so much as it will establish a new "base line", so we can see the scar tissue & exactly how a post op boobie looks. And I totally LOVE Dr. L. He is the 1st person to say these words to me: "You are in total remission." And he also says I'm one of the ones that is "cureable". How bout that?! But I knew this stuff already. LOL! here's the deal. Radiation is about to get started. I will go EVERY-FREAKIN-DAY, Monday through Friday, for SEVEN-FREAKIN-WEEKS! (I totally need gas prices to go down, right?!) I will lay under the machine for about 1 - 2 minutes. Whole appointment, from arrival to departure should only be a bout 15 - 20 minutes. I will receive 25 doses of radiation to the lymph node area. I will get 26 doses of radiation to the entire left boobie area. And finally I will receive 7 - 8 "Boosts" directly to the area where the tumor was. And this is strange to me, cause that entire area of my boobie "appears to me" to be gone - removed during the last breast surgery. But hey, boost away. Kill this crap! Right?!

Radiation Side Effects: And again, "everyone is different"...this seems to be a mantra in the bc world...fatigue, itching, inflammation, burning, swelling, firmness, dryness, peeling, less elasticity, oozing...sounds like FUN, right? Might even come out with a rib fracture! Possible light scarring to the lung & heart too. Dang, this is serious business!

And, although I'm done with Chemo, thankfully, I'm not done with the chemo room yet. I will still get an infusion of Herceptin, till the end of August. MUGA scan willing....

Went yesterday for that MUGA scan. It's a heart scan they do so they can measure the strength of your heart. One of the side effects of Herceptin is a weakening of the heart. Soooooo, I so hope my MUGA looks good so I can stay on it, cause it's supposed to be like a "Miracle Cure" for my kind of bc, HER2+.

So, I will go for the Simulation of the Radiation & get my body marked up so they can line up the machine on New Year's Eve. Then I will go across the hall to have my Herceptin infusion. And then Radiation will start about a week after that & Herceptin (hopefully) will continue on the 3 week cycle.

Hair: Stubbles are still growing. I look like a freshly sprouting Chia Pet! LOL! Or a little baby bird - head. Cause you can still see my shiny, round BALD head, but there's all these 1 inch long hairs standing straight up on it! Lost most of my eyelashes & brows, but they are starting to grow back in. Yeah, I check em daily. LOL!

And even with all this crapola going on, I'm soooooo loving that we're totally off work till after the New Year. Enjoying my Christmas trees...all sparkly & stuff...Anyway, I hope y'all all have a really wonderful Holiday Season. Allen & I are really enjoying it, cause it's so great to be off from work for 2 whole weeks!

Thanks again y'all for checkin in on me & for all your well wishes, cards & prayers & stuff. =) I enjoy your comments! =)

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